Disharmony of the Leaf
by TexasBean
Summary: Before the Mane 6 have a chance to seal him away, Discord manages to escape. Meanwhile, in Konohagakure, Naruto is plummeting towards the bottom of a ravine. Naruto's first successful Summons isn't what he expected, much to his displeasure and Discord's joy. Discord decides to stick around Konoha's Knucklehead Ninja. Not having to deal with those pesky Ponies is a big plus.
1. Summoning Chaos

A/N: Wow, much thanks for clicking on this – that's awesome, believe it!

This story is co-written by mellra and myself, TexasBean. We hope you enjoy it!

This is only going to be stated once, and should be more than obvious – neither of us own Naruto or MLP: Friendship is Magic. Please show these awesome series some love and support the official releases.

Disharmony of the Leaf

Chapter One: Summoning Chaos

There are multiple universes with an infinite amounts of probability in each one. One universe contains a world almost completely dominated by sea, where the age of pirates and cursed fruits thrive. Another universe has a world dominated by four nations, each one capable of bending the very elements themselves. There are few times when these separate universes interact with each other. Sometimes it is due to the plotting of a madman trying to bring about the destruction of one or more universes. Another is due to a science or magical experiment gone wrong. One event that bridges dimensions that is less commonly known is when two seemingly unrelated events coincide with each other. This story is about one such event, where the actions in a world ruled by ninjas causes a temporary breach into a world populated largely by ponies, causes the fates of one world to be changed…forever.

Meanwhile, in Equestria…

He honestly couldn't believe this was happening. And he was Discord, the Spirit of Chaos and Disharmony! Words like unbelievable weren't even a part of his vocabulary! He had just been awoken from his long slumber the Royal Princesses placed him under years ago, only to go against their successors; the current wielders of the Elements of Harmony. The Draconequus had then launched a devious and (in his mind) brilliant plot to make sure he wouldn't get sealed away again; turn the wielders against each other and their own Elements, then let chaos rain throughout Equestria! It had gone perfectly at the start, the six ponies had been all corrupted by his influence and the Royal Sisters lacked the power to seal him away again without their precious Elements of Harmony. But then, that one stubborn Unicorn Twilight something or other (Sparkles, Sprinkles, Spangles?), was able to somehow get those little ponies together again and reactivate the Elements with the 'magic of friendship' or some such sentimental babble (honestly, Discord started to tune her out when she went into the whole 'dramatic speech' mode).

Now those confounded Elements were being used against him again and he was at serious risk of being trapped in stone once more! In the brief moments before the rainbow like beams of magic hit him, the Chaos Lord went over his options while simultaneously wondering where he messed up. He first thought of teleporting or transporting the Elements of Harmony so they would be of no threat to him, but past experience has told him that idea wouldn't work at all. The next thing would be to do something to the ponies themselves, but once again the Elements got in the way as they offered a sort of magical protection when they were active. This only left one option; get out of Equestria while the getting was good. Only one problem, he just…couldn't…MOVE!

Maybe it was fear of his impending imprisonment, but most likely he was being held in place by the magic of the Elements before they made contact. Normally he'd have no trouble teleporting or even flying out of the way, but he was rooted to the spot while cringing in terror as the rainbow lights grew closer and closer. In the split second before the magic made contact, the Disharmonious One felt something on the edge of his senses. It was faint, but it almost felt like a tugging sensation, one tinged by energy that was nearly as chaotic as his own! Discord didn't have time to think, he just grabbed onto that feeling and held on tight. And then…he was gone.

To the outside observer, it looked as though the lights from the Elements of Harmony had erased the Draconequus from existence, never to bring chaos to the land of ponies again. However, Discord's story doesn't end here.

The Elemental Nations, somewhere in Konoha…

"Oh CRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAPPPPP!" Naruto Uzumaki screamed in terror as he plummeted to his imminent demise.

Personally, he blamed the Pervy Sage for this. 'Let me teach you Summoning,' he said, 'I'll let you unlock an incredible power within you,' he said, 'I'm going to push you off this extremely large cliff in order to tap into the Fox's chakra by placing you in a life-or-death situation,' he…well, technically he didn't say that, but it's what that self-proclaimed Super Pervert did. And it did work, to an extent. The young Genin had been able to go into his mindscape and demand chakra from the Nine-Tailed Fox (who, by the way, was a total jerk about it) and was able to use the overabundance of energy to perform the Summoning Jutsu mid-fall. There was just one teeny, tiny, little problem with that.

Nothing appeared out of the Jutsu.

Oh sure, there was the usual big puff of smoke when performing the technique, but nothing came out of said smoke like it was supposed to. Not even a tadpole like he had been Summoning before! A small part of Naruto's brain wondered if it was because he had used the Fox's chakra during the Jutsu that it didn't work. The larger part was screaming his head off and trying very hard not to wet himself as the ground started to become visible and getting closer. And as he drew within only a few feet from becoming a ninja pancake on the ground, Naruto shut his eyes.

'So this is it, huh? Naruto Uzumaki, twelve year old Genin of the Hidden Leaf, killed by his substitute teacher pushing him off a cliff. What a stupid way to die! No heroic battles, no fulfilling my dreams, heck, not even a real first kiss from a girl!' Naruto mentally shouted while also trying not to remind himself of his technical "first kiss" ('Oh God, please tell me that isn't something I'm going to be remembered by!' he mentally wailed in despair).

And just at that moment, he made contact. However, the ground wasn't as hard and unforgiving as he had anticipated, nor was he experiencing any real pain. In fact, the sounds of his own screams and the sound of the wind that had been whipping by were suddenly drowned out by a familiar but completely out of place sound: FFFFFFFFFFLLLLLLLLLLAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRTTTTTTTT!

"Huh?" Naruto squeaked in surprise as the large farting sound echoed throughout the ravine. Daring to crack his eyes open just a bit to see what in the heck was going on, they soon widened as Naruto found himself sprawled out on a GIANT whoopee cushion! The entire thing covered the floor of the ravine and had apparently cushioned the whiskered blonde's landing enough so he wasn't hurt while at the same time creating a rather awkward scenario for the boy. In all his life, he'd never think he'd have been as grateful for the fart noise maker as he was at that moment. The only question was; where had the thing come from?

At first, Naruto thought that it was placed there by the Pervy Sage as a safety net of sorts, odd as it may be. However, that thought was quickly banished as he didn't recall seeing the whoopee cushion when he saw the ground whilst falling. As apparently good as he was, Naruto doubted the old pervert had managed to somehow get to the bottom of the hole he was in before he landed and was able to both inflate and place the whoopee cushion just seconds before he hit the ground. As Naruto sat on the now deflated pranking device, there was a sound of laughter that seemed to come from everywhere and nowhere around the blonde.

"You know," a voice said as soon as the laughter ended, causing Naruto to jump slightly while looking for the voice's source yet finding nothing, "I may not be familiar with whatever species you are, but if you were trying to fly like a Pegasus I'd say you are missing to crucial details. Namely, a pair of wings."

"Who are you? Where are you?!" Naruto demanded in what he hoped was a brave voice, but judging by the resumed laughter he guessed that it didn't work so well.

"Ah, now that's the million bit question, hmm? I'm honestly surprised you don't know who I am, since it was your pull that I followed to this world after all," the voice said while still using that mocking tone that Naruto was all too familiar with for people who underestimated him.

Tilting his head in confusion, Naruto asked, "Are you a toad or something? Because that's what I was trying to Summon."

There was silence for a solid five seconds before the voice responded. "Pfft! BWAHAHAHAHA! A toad?! Oh that's rich! I've been called many things before, but that is a new one on me!" the voice cackled in mirth for several minutes before quieting down some. It then continued in a teasing tone, "Although…if you want to Summon toads, that can be arranged!"

Before Naruto could ask what he meant, there was the sound of something falling from a great height above him. Curious, Naruto looked up…only to have a toad land directly on his face. And keep in mind this was of the common pond toad variety, not the intelligent Summoned animal type. Naruto pried the slimy amphibian off his face with a glare before noticing a large shadow had fallen over his general area. Looking up, Naruto's eyes widened and before he could either curse or get out of the way, over a hundred toads identical to the first one landed right on top of him, forming a croaking pile. It took a few seconds, but Naruto was able to dig his way out of the toad pileup and somehow, one of the wart covered suckers managed to be lodged headfirst into his mouth. Quickly, Naruto spat the toad out and proceeded to furiously scrub at his violated tongue.

"I'd be careful though," the voice spoke up once more, a strong hint of laughter echoing in his voice, "I've heard toads can cause warts!"

Just then, Naruto broke out into a large patch of warts. The painful protrusions covered nearly every square inch of his body, and the blonde ninja could only whimper in shock at this. Before he could worry about being covered in uncomfortable blemishes forever, the voice then said in a thoughtful tone, "Hmm, then again, I've heard that's a myth."

And with that, the warts came off the boy's skin in the form of pink, sudsy bubbles that floated in the air for a moment before popping. At the whiskered child's dumbfounded expression, the voice then began laughing in deep belly laughs this time.

Confused beyond belief, Naruto had had enough with whatever mind games this, whatever it was, was trying to pull on him. "Show yourself!" He yelled out in a stronger voice than before.

"My, my, such a temper. But since you insist…" the voice said before a shape suddenly appeared as if out of thin air.

Naruto couldn't help but stare. The creature was…odd, to say the least. It had a long, almost serpentine body that was largely coated in brown fur. However, every other part of the creature looked like someone took a bunch of different animal parts and stuck them together. The head was gray in color and it looked almost like either a goat or a horse with a bushy white goatee and matching eyebrows. Out of its mouth protruded a single large fang and from the top of the head were two horns, one looked like a twisted and blue goat horn while the other looked more like a deer's antler. Its eyes were yellow with red pupils, one of which seemed smaller than the other. There were also two wings coming from its back, one feathered like a bird's, the other was like that of a bat. The thing's tail was covered in red scales and had a tuff of white fur on the end, but one of the oddest parts were its limbs. The creature appeared to be bipedal, but each of the limbs was different from the other. For the arms, one looked like an eagle's talons while the other was what appeared to be the paw of a lion. For the legs, one looked reptilian in nature while the other looked like that of a donkey. All in all, the thing was a patchwork quilt of different animals.

The being gave an exaggerated, mocking bow and said, "Greetings! My name is Discord; Spirit of Chaos and Disharmony, Draconequus extraordinaire, etcetera, etcetera." At this, a trumpet fanfare sounded complete with confetti and a large banner with the word 'Discord' written on it with glitter appeared out of nowhere before disappearing in puffs of smoke. "Now my fine furless monkey, may I ask who, or whom, you are and where this is? Besides obviously being at the bottom of what appears to be a large cliff. Wait…no, this is definitely the bottom of a large cliff."

While most of Naruto's mind was trying to comprehend just what in the heck this thing was, a part of him did register what the now named Discord had said and took offence to that. "HEY!" Naruto pointed at Discord. "Watch who you're calling a hairless monkey buddy!" He then jabbed a thumb at himself. "The name's Naruto, and I'm a human, Believe It!"

Discord then pulled out a dictionary from…somewhere, and flipped through the pages. "Hmm, human…human…Let's see here; heavy, hilarious…Aha! Human: noun, any individual of the genus Homo, especially a member of the species Homo sapiens. And let's see here…" He then pulled out a book entitled 'Japanese Names for Spirits of Chaos' and started flipping through it, even going as far as to pull what looked like a centerfold out of it. "And Naruto: see maelstrom or fishcake. Huh. Well, that answers one of my questions," Discord continued as the two books vanished in a puff of smoke before he set his mismatched eyes once more on the blonde. "However, I do believe I also asked where I'm at. I don't suppose you'd tell me, eh fishcake?"

"'Fishcake?'" Naruto growled, doing his best to ignore the Fox's snickers that had begun to echo in his mind.

 **"Heh, heh, heh. 'Fishcake'. Now why didn't I think of that?"** The great beast chuckled.

With a heavy sigh, Naruto chose to answer Discord, albeit begrudgingly. "This place is called Konohagakure. And I'll be the Hokage of it someday! Just wait and see, Believe It!"

Discord lazily glanced around at their surroundings then blinked. "Not much to look at, is there? At least the Ponies, while boring, had some color to their homes. And am I correct in assuming 'Hokage' is some sort of leadership role? Well, if you're wanting to be the ruler of this piece of land, may I suggest looking into some better real estate? After all, even Celestia had a bit more space to work with," he drawled while taking out a globe of the world and lazily spinning it on an eagle talon.

"Ugh, this is a ravine in the middle of Konoha, not Konoha itself!" Naruto defended, getting frustrated at the thing he had unwittingly summoned. Glaring, Naruto added, "You must really be an idiot."

Discord simply returned his own glare with a disgruntled "Humph."

Sighing, Naruto then stated, "Well…how about we get out of this ravine? I successfully summoned…" the boy glanced from Discord's tail to his goat horn, "whatever you are."

"Draconequus," Discord chimed.

"Yeah, that." Naruto mentally waved off the foreign word. "So that means you have to listen to me, so let's get out of here."

"Fine, fine," Discord rolled his eyes. Well, he rolled them across the ground a few times causing Naruto to leap back in shock and disgust.

"What in the—" Naruto started, but he didn't get to finish his sentence. With a snap of the fingers from the Draconequus' talon, Naruto and Discord were teleported up to the top of the ravine where Jiraiya the Toad Sage was waiting.

"Agh!" Jiraiya disgracefully fell backwards onto his behind when Naruto suddenly appeared above him without warning. There wasn't even the usual poof of smoke that accompanied ninjas who popped up! The boy was suddenly just there, as if appearing out of thin air!

Naruto landed on top of Jiraiya in a tangle of limbs and swear words. Discord merely gave the pair an amused glance.

Now, Jiraiya was a man who believed in pushing limits – he had to as an author, especially when he did his "research", and fully believed that Naruto would be able to successfully summon a Toad if his life were at least in some risk.

But Jiraiya had been very confused at the loud farting noise coming from the bottom of the ravine. He was even more confused by the creature that was compiled of a mish-mash of other creatures floating a few feet above him and Naruto. After picking himself up and dusting himself off, Jiraiya then began trying to wrap his head around why and how this creature (whatever he was) was here, and not one of the desired Toad summons.

Currently, Naruto was pointing accusingly at Discord, who looked all too pleased with himself.

"Hey! Be a little more careful on the landing, will ya, ya jerk!" Naruto then turned to Jiraiya, "What the h*ll, Pervy Sage! Why did I summon him?!"

For a moment, Jiraiya considered Naruto's words; something was off about them, he just couldn't place what at the moment. Naruto continued complaining about not summoning Toads and whatever this creature was. The creature was reclining on a cloud with sunglasses he had pulled from somewhere along with a reflective tanning board.

"Oh, do stop complaining Fishcakes, it's rather grating," Discord chided while tilting his sunglasses down so his mismatched eyes could stare mischievously at the blonde.

Jiraiya awkwardly cleared his throat. This was a Summons unknown to him, and would have to be dealt with carefully. "May I ask who you are?"

The creature laughed heartily. "Why, I believe I already told Fishcake here who I am!"

"Stop calling me that!" Naruto demanded. He was doing quite a bit of that over the past fifteen minutes.

The creature muttered, "Simply copy and paste, and there we are. My name is Discord; Spirit of Chaos and Disharmony, Draconequus extraordinaire!" Discord gave a bow while applause from a nonexistent audience sounded and roses appeared at the Draconequus' mismatched feet.

Jiraiya stood in thought with a hand to his chin. While this 'Draconequus' was foreign to him, it was quite clear there was a lot of power behind the Summon in order for him to warp reality like that. Not even most Boss Summons could do that! Maybe this might actually work better than he'd hoped for, provided that the hodgepodge creature would listen to his newest student. "That's actually pretty impressive, wouldn't you agree…" a smirk found its way to Jiraiya's lips. "…eh, Fishcake?"

"Ugh! Not you too!" Naruto was getting exasperated.

"Think of it as payback for the name, 'Pervy Sage'." Jiraiya shrugged. Naruto huffed.

The Sennin then turned his attention back to Discord. "Discord-san, would you mind telling me how you were summoned here?"

"Pfft!" Discord gave a scoff. "If I did that, I'd merely be repeating what people already know!" A lightbulb suddenly came on over Discord's head quite literally. "Ah! I know how we can solve this! Line break!"

"What?" Naruto and Jiraiya asked at the same time.

* * *

Discord had told Jiraiya everything there was to know about how he had answered Naruto's summons, although the Draconequus conveniently left out the parts that he had been sealed away, and had been on his way to being sealed once again. Discord told an elaborate tale, and had attempted a few visual jokes that fell flat because the two people he was conversing with didn't understand any of his gags. Basically, his elaborate and needlessly elongated story could be summed up rather simply:

He had previously been in a world of powerful magic, when he felt a strange pull on his senses. So he followed it, and as a result found himself in the bottom of a ravine in the middle of Konohagakure.

"Hmm…" Jiraiya wasn't sure what to think. He also noticed that Discord didn't seem to have a time limit for how long he could be in the real world, along with the fact that Discord did not demand any sort of sacrifice for his being summoned. 'Was it because the Summoning was done using the Fox's chakra that this 'Discord' guy showed up? Makes about as much sense as anything else, especially since there is no clear record on what happens when a Tailed Beast's chakra is used to perform the Summoning Jutsu. I had assumed it'd just give the brat enough chakra to pull off a big Summon, maybe even Gamabunta. Now though…I'm going to have to research this more thoroughly later.'

"Isn't he supposed to disappear by now?" Naruto muttered bitterly as he crossed his arms. He was disappointed that his first true Summons hadn't gone amicably.

"Na-Fishcake," Jiraiya said with a poorly hidden smirk, while Naruto pouted at the nickname. "Clearly, this isn't a normal Summons. Discord is clearly something else."

"Well I don't want him!" Naruto blurted, glaring at both Discord and Jiraiya. The boy wanted to tear his hair out.

"Oh, well, if that's case I guess I'll have to stick around, Fishcake." Discord said as suitcases suddenly appeared at his side. "I believe we will have ever so much fun."

"UGHHH!" Naruto groaned. He stomped off. "I'm going to get some ramen!"

Discord looked at the retreating blonde and then back to the Toad Sage before giving a shrug of his shoulders and floated after the human child while doing the backstroke. What he didn't say, however, was that he wasn't completely sure if he could leave this strange dimension he had found himself in. The Spirit of Chaos, since his arrival here, had been mentally examining the pathway he had come from and found that it appeared to be sealed shut behind him. While capable of traversing dimensions with his own power, the Disharmonious One was slightly worried that since the way he had found his way here was through different means, he may be stuck here for a while.

'Oh well,' Discord decided with a careless mental shrug. 'Those are questions for later. Besides, with the "Friendship Ponies" being able to wield the Elements of Harmony now I doubt it'd be safe for me to return to Equestria just yet anyway. No doubt those Ponies won't be as easily tricked this time around, but when I do return they are going to realize how bad an idea it is to try and trap me again! In the meantime,' at this a large grin spread on his face as he eyed the child who had unwittingly summoned him and he continued, 'I have a feeling this is going to be an entertaining experience…for me!'

Little did the people of the Elemental Nations realize that their world was going to get a lot more…chaotic!


	2. He's Chaos!

**A/N: Wow! Thank you so, so much for all those follows and faves. Y'all are awesome. My inbox is fat and happy.**

Chapter Two: He's Chaos! He's Aggravating! He's Hideous! Discord Appears and he won't Go Away!

Naruto stomped off. Should he still be training? Yes. But did he want to? Heck, no! His first major summons had resulted in him summoning something not of this world, and he regretted it. The boy felt as if he would rather have gone SPLAT at the bottom of that ravine instead of being successful in summoning Discord. (Don't forget Spirit of Chaos and Disharmony extraordinaire).

At that moment, Discord was floating over Naruto, ceaselessly chattering away. This almost caused Naruto to wonder if he was this annoying and rethink his life choices. Instead, Naruto glared at Discord. "Shut up, will ya?!"

Discord paused. "Alright, then," and he zipped his lip, literally.

Naruto didn't notice the stares villagers were giving him, and many of them glanced at Discord uneasily. What was that horrid creature with the Demon-child? The one who noticed the stares was Discord.

Those hesitant looks, the fear, the whispers! It was glorious!

A few people were pointing at Discord, and he could hear them whispering about demons and the like. With a devious smirk, Discord gave one of the nearby postboxes legs and it ran off spitting letters at unsuspecting people. A very proper looking older woman's purse suddenly developed teeth and began trying nip its owner. The woman screamed as she threw down the purse and ran, with her drooling-toothed purse in pursuit.

Discord gave a laugh before saying in a teasing tone to no one in particular, "I've heard of women having trouble with their purses, but this is ridiculous." He then looked at the surrounding buildings and a wide grin threatened to engulf his face. "Hmm, looks to me that this place could use some more color!" And with that he gave a snap of his lion's paw. The buildings' colors turned into hideous collection of neon greens, oranges and yellows – somehow making Naruto's own orange clothing seem tame in comparison, if that were possible.

"What the…" Naruto slowly took in the chaos, trying to process it.

Cats were barking, dogs were meowing, and one man ran by screaming as his toupee was growling atop his head.

"Are you doing this?!" one woman shouted at Naruto.

"Oh, please." Discord's voice was smooth as a nearby light pole took on his features. "I'd like to think I'm little more original than him."

"EEK!" The woman screamed and ran.

"NARUTO! CUT IT OUT!" a nearby man shouted, as he fought off attacking hordes of fruit and vegetables.

"But I…" Naruto started, but he stopped. He sent Discord one last venomous glare. "Leave me alone, already!"

Naruto disappeared in a poof of smoke, leaving behind a log in his place.

"Hmm?" Discord simply shrugged.

Deciding that he would rather mess with Naruto, he snapped the fingers of his lion's paw and everything returned to normal; almost. Discord decided to leave the neon colors and the woman to her snapping purse. This boring town needed a little more excitement anyway.

Floating above to take in the scenery and to find his blonde quarry, Discord formed his hands into a binocular shape and glanced around the village, his sight enhanced as if he were actually using binoculars. Finally spotting a running blur of yellow and orange, Discord gave chase as a race number appeared on his chest; though instead of having a number, there was a picture of his face. Zooming through the air, Discord went after Naruto but then saw something that gave him pause. A boy no older than his target was lying on the roof of a building and staring lazily at the clouds. Figuring he'd easily find Fishcake later, the Chaos Spirit couldn't pass up this golden opportunity to mess with someone else. Or should he say, this pink opportunity to mess with someone else.

Shikamaru gave a content sigh as he stared up at the passing clouds. He had finally gave his nagging mother the slip an hour ago after listening to her try to get him to train for the upcoming third part of the Chunin Exam, and he was taking the moment to do his favorite pastime. Honestly, the Exam was a month away, and it's not like he had a shot at being Chunin. Didn't his mother realize that the whole thing was too much of a drag for him? His father supported his opinion in mind if not vocally, but since he was so whipped already the man wasn't much help. It also didn't help that Ino was determined to pester him into actually trying to win as well. According to her, he was the last representative of their team and that he couldn't embarrass them all by forfeiting before the match had even started. The young Nara was sure the troublesome women in his life would be forcing him to start training seriously soon enough and would most likely try to get Asuma roped into it as well.

So Shikamaru was trying to get in his kicks while he could before the real troublesome events started. He was satisfied with lounging on the rooftop of Ino's family's flower shop and watch the peaceful pink clouds roll by…Wait a second. Pink clouds?

Shikamaru sat up and rubbed his eyes before looking back to the sky once more. Yes, the clouds were indeed pink colored and actually looked like balls of cotton candy like that. And was it him, or did they seem to be gathering right over his resting spot? Suddenly, the clouds opened up and a heavy brown liquid suddenly fell on top of him, drenching the Nara and the surrounding roof. Shikamaru sputtered as he tried to wipe the liquid off, noting that it was way stickier than water.

"Shikamaru, you okay? I saw the clouds and knew you were up here because this is where you go to ditch your mom and Ino and…What is this stuff?" a familiar voice asked in concern before it became curious. Turning, the pineapple haired boy saw his best friend Choji standing on the edge of the brown downpour and was looking a mix of concerned for his friend and in curiosity for the strange clouds and rain coming from them. Hesitantly, the plump boy reached out a finger to get a little of the brown stuff on his finger before tasting it. His round face instantly brightened up and he ran into the rain and opened his mouth eagerly to catch as much of the stuff as he could.

"Choji, what are you doing?" Shikamaru asked his 'chubby' friend, slightly disturbed and disgusted at Choji's guzzling.

The Akamichi paused in his drinking just long enough to answer his friend excitedly, "It's chocolate milk, Shika! C'mon you gotta try this!" and with that he went back to drinking the now identified chocolate milk.

Sighing, Shikamaru knew his moment of relaxation had come to an end as he was rained on by chocolate milk. And he also knew that Choji probably wouldn't be much help as he tried to gulp down as much of the sweet rain as he could. "Troublesome," he muttered as he tried to wring the sticky substance out of his shirt.

Meanwhile, above the cotton candy clouds, Discord was rolling around in laughter. "Oh~! That was priceless!" He chortled. The chaos bringer then noticed that the building the two boys were on was a flower shop and he snapped his eagle claw before hovering over the shop's window. Inside, the plants all began growing out of control and the vines began to take on a life of their own as they attempted to lasso the platinum blonde girl inside who screamed and began to bat them away with a broom.

Discord laughed again and wiped an imaginary tear from his eye. "Ah, I needed that. A thousand years in stone just makes a Draconequus truly appreciate how much fun chaos can bring!" he declared before rising into the air once more. "Now enough sightseeing for the moment. I have a Fishcake I need to find," he said before scoping out his prey once more. Spotting a familiar head of blonde in the distance, Discord turned to the two chocolate drenched boys and one now tied up girl in the plant shop who had finally noticed him. He grinned and said, "Sorry folks but I have to run. In the meantime, please enjoy the free chocolate and flowers for the next hour! Arrivederci!" and with that, he vanished in a flash of white light and leaving behind three very confused Genin. Ino began letting loose curses and empty threats to the empty space Discord had previously occupied, before sighing miserably and resigning herself to her fate for the next 56 minutes and 32 seconds.

O*o*o*o*O

Naruto sighed in relief as he stared at the bowl of ramen in front of him. He had finally shook off that Discord guy through the busy streets of Konoha. Seriously, he'd known the Chaos Lord for less than an hour and already, Discord made him want to tear his hair out, believe it! And people said that he was annoying! Hopefully, the Draconequus would be somebody else's problem for a bit as Naruto took this opportunity to relax and enjoy his favorite dish.

The blond picked up his chopsticks and had stuffed a generous helping into his mouth when he happened to glance down and saw something that made him do a spit take. There, floating in the ramen complete with horrendously patterned swim trunks, sunglasses, and an inner tube was a miniature Discord! Naruto blinked a few times and furiously rubbed his eyes before looking again. This couldn't be happening! Sure enough, the Disharmonious One was lounging in his ramen like it was a pool! He even had the nerve to wave up at the blond with his lion's paw!

Just then, an eagle-like arm wrapped his arm around Naruto's shoulders and an all-too familiar horse-like face leaned forward to inspect the ramen bowl with that infuriatingly mocking grin. Naruto's head whipped back and forth as he stared between the regular-sized Discord and the miniature one floating in his ramen. Naruto had never seen substitution or illusion Jutsu like this before! A very small part of Naruto almost envied Discord's abilities. Almost.

"Oh, waiter!" Discord called over the counter. "There's a Chaos Spirit in this boy's soup!"  
Instead of either old-man Teuchi or Ayame showing up, another Discord wearing an exaggerated waiter's outfit complete with a thin, curly mustache showed up and also looked into the ramen bowl – where the mini-Discord was now swimming with diver's goggles.

In a fake French accent, waiter-Discord said, "Why, I do believe he's doing the backstroke."

Then by the side of his ramen bowel, a small panel of mini-Discords showed up and held up score cards on the first mini-Discord's backstroke technique.

"Cut it out, already!" Naruto shouted.

Suddenly, three Anbu arrived around the duo in swirls of leaves. The lead one in a cat mask stepped forward and said, "Naruto Uzumaki; you and your…" the Anbu looked over to Discord who had picked up the ramen bowel with the mini-Discord in it and slurped the whole thing in one go before belching out a small flock of hummingbirds, "…associate, are being called to the Hokage's office immediately. We are to escort you there."

Before Naruto could respond, Discord teleported above him and rested his head on his mismatched arms. "Escort us? My, aren't we special?" Discord said mockingly before poofing up matching tuxedos for himself and Naruto. "Come along Fishcake, our presence is being called!" With that, the group found themselves being transported right in front of the Hokage's Office in a flash of light, leaving the humans wondering how they got there and why there was a red carpet leading up to the entrance. Discord gave a sweeping bow and smiled. "Shall we?" he asked.

O*o*o*o*O

The Third honestly didn't know what to do with the pair in front of him at that moment. After receiving numerous complaints from the villagers that honestly sounded borderline ridiculous, he decided to call in the source of the complaints. Namely (and most often) Naruto.

Only, Naruto wasn't alone this time. He was accompanied by a creature that looked as if someone had haphazardly thrown spare parts together on a mere whim. The creature was apparently called 'Discord' and was known as 'the Spirit of Chaos' and he gave Sarutobi an annoyed glare as he complained under his breath about having to explain himself so many times.

Not fully understanding what the creature meant by that, the Third decided to get down to business.

Clearing his throat, he said, "Well, Naruto, I guess you can guess as to why I called you here."

Glaring at the floor, Naruto muttered, "It's his fault."

Discord mock gasped. "Oh, really, Fishcake! That hurts, you know. Hurts me right here!" He then clutched his chest as if he was in pain before pretending to drop dead on the floor, a tulip clutched in his talons. The effect was ruined when he started snickering, however.

The Third sweatdropped, but years of dealing with eccentric shinobi like Might Guy and his own student Jiraiya had pretty much desensitized the old man to such antics. He coughed into his fist to get the duo's attention. The pair glanced at him, one looking slightly amused; the other looking annoyed.

"So, Discord-san," the Third said as he leaned forward on his desk and laced his fingers. "Where are you from?"

"Do I really have to explain it again?" Discord answered as he waved his paw rather dramatically. "How about this," Discord pulled a projection screen out of somewhere and pulled on the cord. The lights went out, and a spotlight appeared on the Draconequus, who was now wearing a bowtie (because bowties are cool) glasses, and was holding a long pointing stick. A series of crude, child-like drawings filled the screen, basically telling Discord's story a third time. Discord pointed to each event as he flashed through the presentation.

Finally, he was done and the projection screen disappeared into the ceiling with a strange giggle for seemingly no reason whatsoever, and the lights came back on with a clap of Discord's mismatched hands.

"Satisfied?" Discord asked in a long and drawn-out tone, while floating casually around the room.

"…Well, I suppose it'll have to do…" The Third didn't know what to think.

"Gramps, tell him to go away!" Naruto demanded, trying but failing to hide the slightest bit of whining on his part.

"Would you like some…" Discord wound his way around Naruto, and presented a platter with a variety of very smelly cheeses, _"cheese_ with that whine?"

Naruto resisted the urge to gag and shoved Discord away. The boy turned to the Third. "He's been nothing but annoying, and he won't go away!"

"Well…" the Third hesitated. While it was true that he really knew nothing of Discord (who was a true anomaly) the village could greatly benefit from having him on their side. His advisors wouldn't like the fact that he wasn't ordering Discord to be locked up and having tests done on him in one of their labs so that they could further understand the creature. They would like it even less knowing that Discord was hanging around Naruto…but…a plan formulated in the Hokage's mind. One that would (hopefully) give him a better understanding of Discord's abilities as well as 'integrate' him to the population, so to speak.

"Alright," the Third began, thankfully interrupting Discord's attempts to make Naruto eat some of the smelly cheeses. "Here's what I want you two to do."

"And what is thy bidding, oh wise and powerful Hokage?" Discord asked as he now sat behind the Third's crystal ball with a swami outfit complete with an enormous turban.

The humans in the room sweatdropped before turning their attention back to the Hokage. "I'm going to assign both of you on a few D-Rank missions to assess your teamwork."

"WHAT?!" Naruto's voice rang out.

"Oh, boy!" Discord pulled Naruto into a near-bone-crushing hug. "We're gonna be best buds, Fishcake!"

Naruto continued to try and protest, but a series of noogies and matching t-shirts bearing the name BNDFFs (Best Ninja and Draconequus Friends Forever!) and the Third outright ignoring him forced Naruto to decide that he would simply put up with it for now. It was a mission, after all…and Sasuke wasn't in on any of them.

"In fact," the Third walked over to his desk and pulled out a scroll from one its many drawers. "I have a mission right here. A shopkeeper wants his store cleaned top to bottom before moving in new inventory. He'll be expecting you around 4:00."

"Fine." Naruto begrudgingly relented.

The Third smiled and motioned to the clock on the wall. "Since it's already nearly 3:30, you should head over there now."

"Okay…" Naruto took the scroll from Sarutobi with a frown. Naruto was about to say something else when Discord grabbed his collar and took off out the door, yelling, "Late! We're late for a very important date!"

Naruto's eyes widened briefly at the sight of Discord who had taken on the form of a white rabbit in a rumpled suit and was carrying an oversized pocket watch. Sarutobi had to smile at the fading voice of Naruto demanding that Discord put him down.

"Yo," a voice from behind Sarutobi said. The man turned to face his former student Jiraiya, who was (much to Sarutobi's chagrin) climbing in through the window as usual. Why couldn't people use the door? He might as well not have one.

"So, Jiraiya," Sarutobi lit his pipe and took a few puffs. "What's your opinion on this Discord character?"

Jiraiya shrugged and smirked. "I think he's rather interesting. It'll be very entertaining to see where that pair is headed."

"Indeed…" Sarutobi agreed as he peered into his crystal ball. He then deadpanned, "It would appear the two are heading to the wrong end of the village," he then sighed and signaled two Anbu to point the odd pair in the right direction.

He then turned to Jiraiya and said in a serious voice, "But in all seriousness, do you think he's trustworthy?"

Jiraiya adopted a similar look and answered while leaning against the wall, "To be honest? I know there are parts of his little story there that are made up if not outright lies. However, so far he seems pretty harmless all things considered, just a bit annoying to the civilians. I'll keep an eye on him to make sure he doesn't try anything and I'd suggest you have a couple Anbu do the same. I've yet to see any being, summon or otherwise, do the things he can so it's best to use caution."

Sarutobi nodded at his student's words and considered doing just that. "And if he does prove to be a threat?"

A dark look passed over the Sannin's face and he stated, "Then strange powers or not, I will find a way to end him."

The Third nodded, content with that answer. "On to other matters, what else do you plan to teach Naruto these next few weeks in preparation for the Third Exam? We'll also need to discuss that mercenary group you mentioned in your last report."

Jiraiya nodded and sat down, knowing this'd be a long conversation.

O*o*o*o*O

Now at the client's bookstore, numerous boxes filled with all kinds of reading paraphernalia were stacked up against the walls. Naruto almost didn't bother keeping the books organized, but wisely decided that it would be more work in the end if he didn't organize the books for later. Judging by the expression of the shopkeeper upon his and Discord's arrival, Naruto didn't want the guy holding anything else against him. It didn't help things when Discord started eating the books in order to, as he put it, "learn more about the world." When asked why he was eating the books instead of reading them, he merely replied he was having "food for thought".

Discord consumed knowledge by candlelight dinner all while slowly transforming into a green bookworm with coke bottle glasses and a red bowtie. Naruto silently hoped that the books weren't actually gone forever, otherwise they would have a very gross…eh… Naruto didn't want to imagine having to wait for the books' return through conventional methods.

By that point, Naruto felt exhausted, and his voice was slightly hoarse from shouting at Discord more times than he could count within the last few hours. The thought of a horse emerging from his throat or being transformed into a little horse entered his mind, so he begrudgingly kept silent for the most part, biting his tongue (figuratively, not literally of course!) Silently, Naruto cursed, because Discord was twisting things around – in the literal and figurative ways, and the blond could already imagine the visual gags that accompanied unintentional puns and everyday phrases.

Naruto grumbled as he mopped the inside of the bookstore. "Stupid chores. Why do I gotta do this again?"

Suddenly, the mop jerked from his hand before sprouting arms and duplicating by ten. The mops then began to mop the floor themselves in a choreographed dance pattern as the music from Disney's Fantasia began to play from nowhere. Naruto could only stare at the bizarre turn of events with unhidden shock before it suddenly turned into irritation when a familiar laugh was heard. Looking up, Naruto saw the Spirit of Chaos wearing what appears to be a long, flowing red robes, a tall wizard's hat decorated with stars and moons, and his hands were covered in puffy white gloves as he moves his mismatched limbs in conductor like movements to the music.

"Discord...what are you doing?" Naruto asked through gritted teeth as he tries to reign in his temper. He had learned that reacting strongly to the Draconequus' antics just encouraged him to do them even more.

"Why helping of course Fishcake. After all, isn't that why your esteemed Hokage sent us this task? To see how well we 'worked together'?" Discord said cheekily as the living mops started mopping the walls and ceiling now as water from their 'cleaning' started to build up. "And then I thought, why not do this mission in a way we can enjoy ourselves. After all, who doesn't love the classics? Besides, the client did say he wanted this place cleaned 'top to bottom.'"

As he said this last part, the water from the excessive mopping started to build up and was soon pooling up to Naruto's ankles. The boy growled, "Would you just knock it off?! You're not helping!" Wanting to stop the renegade mops before they flooded the store, Naruto put his hands in a familiar cross shaped symbol and cried, "Shadow Clone Jutsu!"

Soon there were as many blondes as there were mops and each one tackled the mops to the ground. Discord smirked mischievously as he changed his outfit into an overly elaborate cowboy costume and said, "Well if it's a roundup y'all want, you better be prepared to take these bulls by the horn!"

And, with a snap of his eagle claws, the mops began to buck and kick like a bucking bronco and taking the screaming and struggling Naruto's for a ride. "Yee-haw!" Discord crowd as he floated above the mayhem he helped create.

"Agh!" Naruto noticed that the boxes began to float by him, and Discord passed him sailing on a boat, and the Draconequus was wearing an outrageous outfit that consisted of gold chains, top hat and sunglasses. As he passed by, he was singing, "I'm on a boat…"

Suddenly, the door to the shop slid open and the shopkeeper looked aghast as he took in the sight of the numerous Naruto's, the strange creature sailing past him on a boat continuing to sing, "Everybody look at me, 'cuz I'm sailing on a boat…"

As various objects from the current struck the clones, they all dissipated into smoke. Heck, even objects and people that weren't even in the shop to begin with floated around them. This included statues (some of them naked, with conveniently placed greenery) animals like chickens and a few villagers who looked rather confused as to how they had gotten there, while others simply went with the flow.

"What the…?" the shopkeeper glanced at the chaos that flooded the street and the soaking wet interior of his shop. The mop that Naruto had been struggling with got away from him and broke one of the windows – but instead of shattering, it became a mosaic of Discord's face.

"I-I…" Naruto started, but he didn't get to finish as the shopkeeper turned a shade of puce through no help of Discord.

"Can't you even control that-that beast?!" the man demanded, pointing angrily at Discord. Naruto once again tried to speak up, but the man was so angry he continued, "My shop is absolutely ruined, thanks to you! This is what happens when you let a monster—"

The man suddenly stopped, wide-eyed yet glaring at Naruto.

The blond hung his head, letting his bangs shadow his eyes. "It's his fault."

Discord was observing them with a cocked eyebrow, figuratively, of course.

"All of this started because of him!" Naruto pointed accusingly at Discord. "Why is it always my fault?!" Naruto shoved passed the shopkeeper and before leaving, he turned to Discord and sent the Draconequus a fierce glare. "Leave me alone already. Go back to where you came from. No wonder those ponies or whatever were trying to lock you away… YOU RUIN EVERYTHING!"

Naruto simply ran down the road a few shops and turned the corner, leaving Discord on his boat while the shopkeeper yelled at the out of control mops, boxes and other objects. Discord slowly glanced from the angry shopkeeper to the spot where Naruto had turned the corner. Discord began playing events back in his mind, when he had been having fun…looking back, he realized it: the glares and the whispers…none of them had been directed at him. People had panicked at his actions, but Naruto had been the one that the villagers had demanded take responsibility.

And that shopkeeper had stopped himself from mentioning something, but what? But what bothered Discord the most was the way Naruto looked at him. Naruto's last words to him played back even when he wasn't willing them too, and honestly, they stung – even if it was just a little. Discord had only been trying to have fun, yet… 'YOU RUIN EVERYTHING'. Ponies had been upset with him for disrupting the norm, but the way Fishcake said it was…

His thoughts were interrupted when a broom was shoved into his face. "Get out of here, shoo!"

The shopkeeper wielded a frayed broom, and he swatted at Discord.

Discord narrowed his eyes. Reaching into the water, the Draconequus pulled a bathtub plug out and the water went down a previously nonexistent drain, leaving a sopping wet and ransacked store. With a snap of his talons, the enchantment stopped, and the shop looked like new, with everything in place. It was…ugh…orderly… *shivers*

But Discord made sure the broom wound around the man (who of course screamed when his broom turned against him) and the broom took off to fly wide circles and loop-de-loops for the next half hour. Heh, that's what the foal got for swatting at him.

Donning a Sherlock Holmes-esque hat and bubble pipe, Discord decided he had some investigating to do.

With a snap of his lion's paw, Discord was now also wearing an outfit that blended in with the locals, although to be perfectly honest, the pattern for his chosen outfit was perfectly atrocious in true Discord fashion. As Discord walked amongst the locals, nobody noticed his Draconequus features; they were too busy noticing his outfit. It was an absolute eyesore. But enough about that.

As Discord walked, he was thinking. He had learned quite a bit from those books he had consumed. He knew that the world consisted of extremely skilled ninja living in various villages spread across a series of countries that seemed to be more often than not, involved in some kind of war or something or other with each other. For Discord, the war he knew of consisted of a battle of wits – and the wars these people fought were violent and bloody, and children younger than the Fishcake were sent to the frontlines. Vastly different from Equestria…

According to the history of Konohagakure, there was apparently a very violent attack by a Fox Demon that the Fourth Hokage sacrificed his life to seal away, and then…there was a blank. No pages had been missing from the book, but something had been left out. Such as, where was the Fox now? Why had information on it been left out? Any attempts at even casual conversation was immediately shot down. People suddenly had something to do and somewhere to be as soon as the Demon Fox was mentioned.

Entering another bookstore across town, Discord walked right up to the smiling woman at the counter and asked ever-so-politely, "Hey, do you happen to have any info on that Fox Demon, I'm writing a novel…"

He was cut off by the woman who was no longer smiling. "We don't talk about that here! You know the rules!"

Rules? "Why, yes of course, the rules…" Discord nodded, "Do forgive me, I just wasn't here when it happened, and I'm ever so curious. Good thing I'm not a cat."

"You shouldn't be asking about it at all." The woman narrowed her eyes at him suspiciously. "Why would you want to know?"

"Because," Discord said with a slight purr. "I'm curious. It's clearly a juicy bit of gossip that I'm sure you're aching to share. I mean…an intelligent woman such as yourself wouldn't own a bookstore like this one if you didn't know a thing or two about…" Discord leaned in closer to the woman. "…forbidden little secrets." Discord grinned. "Am I right, or am I right?"

"It's a law, it's not something we talk about!" the woman hissed.

"Oh, but you do want to talk about it. I mean, we always gossip about the people and situations we dislike, right? You so desperately want to share that bit of info with dear, old Discord, do you not? I mean, we're the only ones in here…it's not like anyone will find out unless we tell them, right? How's about a little secret between us? Clearly, you place value on such things as keeping secrets. That's to be admired. But your opinion is meant to be shared and heard by all; it's not something someone like you should keep to herself."

The woman honestly didn't take much flattering to her ego before she finally spilled the beans (Honestly, she was easier to trick than Rarity, who just needed a diamond disguised rock to fool). The Demon Fox that had rampaged through the village and had been sealed away by the Fourth Hokage at the cost of his life was currently residing inside of Naruto. The boy was nothing more than a troublemaker, and his becoming a ninja was nothing but a bad omen for the village. Especially if that creature that had been causing trouble around town was any indication.

"They should have locked that monster up, but instead the Third allows him to roam free."

"That boy will transform into the monster he is at some point, and he'll wipe out our village for good this time!"

When their conversation was finally over, Discord was tightlipped. It was a rare expression to see on his face. "I see, thank you and have a good day."

Discord quickly left. He was disgusted by that woman. He was disgusted by the villagers. They clearly hated the Fishcake. What was it the boy had said earlier? Something about becoming Hokage? Why? Why bother with these cretins if they were simply going to toss him under the bus? Did they even have buses in this place?

Discord flapped his wings, effectively ridding himself of the enchantment, and scaring a few of the villagers. Good.

Discord wasn't normally one to get upset about such things, but if there is one thing he prides himself in is that if blame is to be assigned to someone/pony, it should always be on the one responsible and not an innocent bystander. They treated him like a monster. Somewhere in the back of Discord's mind, a small voice seemed to whisper, "You know what its like."

Shaking his head of the thought, Discord went on a Fishcake hunt.

O*O*O*O

Discord found Naruto sitting on the roof of his apartment, staring up the clouds (which were no longer cotton candy) and as soon as Naruto saw Discord, he glared at him venomously. If the boy could have glared daggers, Discord had the distinct feeling that he would be a pincushion by now. If Naruto's silent glare was any indication, he was clearly asking why Discord was still there. The Fishcake wasn't going to talk to him…alright then…he would speak first.

"Why do you want to become Hokage?" Discord asked.

The question clearly surprised Naruto, but the blond narrowed his eyes accusingly. "Why do you care? You'll just ruin that too, just like you did everything today. My summoning, my ramen, that stupid mission…"

Ouch. Okay, he deserved that.

"Well, not everything goes as planned…but you still didn't answer my question, Fishcake."

Naruto huffed, and pulled his legs up to his chest and buried his face in his arms. A muffled, "Just go away…" sounded from the blond.

"Not talking? Alright then, I'll start." Discord sat somewhat awkwardly a little higher up on the roof. "From what I understand, Hokage is the leader of this place, and is also a position where that person will sacrifice their life in order to protect this place. Just like that Fourth guy did. A waste, if you ask me."

"Don't say that!" Naruto turned to face Discord.

"Why do you care so much? Everyone here thinks you're a monster due to that Demon Fox sealed away in you. By a Hokage, no less."

Naruto looked shocked. "You know about that?"

"Of course I do." Discord narrowed his eyes this time. "If people are going to think so little of you, they aren't worth saving. You should either embrace the monster they think you are, or leave this pathetic place."

Naruto was on his feet in a matter of seconds, fists balled at his sides. "Don't say that about them! You don't get to say that!" Naruto slightly calmed down. "This is my village…I love it…and if-no, _when_ I become Hokage, they'll have no choice but to acknowledge me, believe it!"

Somewhere within the confines of Naruto's seal, the Fox asked, _**"How did he find out about me?"**_

But Naruto didn't hear him. He was busy debating with Discord. "When I become Hokage, they won't think of me as a monster anymore. I'll be Konoha's number one Ninja, ahead of that idiot, Sasuke!"

Plus, Sakura would finally pay attention to him instead of Sasuke. In Naruto's mind, that was a win-win.

"…I don't understand you, Fishcake." Discord finally said. "Why would you want to protect the people who think so little of you?"

"Because then they'll do the same for me, someday…they won't see me as the Demon Fox," Naruto placed a hand on his stomach. "But as a true, ninja of Konoha, believe it."

It was then Naruto looked at Discord; truly looked at him, beyond the mish-mash of creatures. "Did…did those ponies see you as a monster too?"

Discord's eyes widened briefly.

"That's a loaded question, Fishcake."

"Is that a 'yes'?"

Discord took on a mocking tone. "I didn't do a very good job of conforming to their precious little speeches and 'powers of love and friendship' and all that nonsense." Discord huffed. "They merely didn't appreciate my creativity."

"Maybe. But maybe if you used your abilities to help out - to help people, then they wouldn't have needed to seal you away in the first place."

Discord rolled his eyes (keeping them in their sockets this time.)

"Were you ever lonely or scared?" Naruto asked.

"Not once," Discord said, a little too quickly, but Naruto didn't seem to notice. "Me, myself and I are the most entertaining people to ever exist!"

"Yeah, right." Naruto responded flatly.

"Look, enough about me, Fishcake. Let's talk about you." Discord took to the air once again so he float overhead a few feet, summoning a therapy couch to scoop up the blonde and float him beside the Chaos Lord.

"Me?"

"How about this, I'm curious to see where this story of ours goes, so I'll stick around for a bit. Let's declare a truce."

Naruto looked suspicious. "What kind of truce?" he asked skeptically.

Discord held a claw up and said, "You let me stick around, let me see if that conviction of yours is real or not, and I swear to not only tone it down on the chaos a bit, but I'll even lend you my aid if you really, really need it."

Naruto hesitantly held out a hand. "You promise?"

Discord gave a grin and said, "Cross my heart and hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye!" he finished by sticking an actual cupcake in his eye before using his long tongue to lick it off.

Giving a slightly disgusted look, Naruto said, "What…was that?"

Discord chuckled and pinched one of Naruto's whiskered cheeks in his lion paw. "Why a Pinkie Promise, silly! And how about you?"

After the first time in what felt like forever, Naruto gave his signature foxy grin and declared, "Alright Discord, you got yourself a deal! And I never go back on my word, because that's my _nindo_ , my Ninja Way!"


	3. Living with the Chaos Lord

**A/N: Many, many thanks for everyone's support of this fic. Who's awesome? You are.**

Chapter 3: Living with the Chaos Lord and Training Resumes

In the land of Equestria, night had fallen over Canterlot when Princess Luna raised the moon. However, unlike most nights Princess Celestia had not retired for the evening. Instead she was wide awake in her study, pouring over the news of the day while casting glances at a map of the world. So absorbed in her work that she didn't even notice when the door to the study opened and Luna walked in right up until the dark colored Alicorn was right beside her.

"Bit for your thoughts, sister?" Luna asked while looking at what her elder sister had been going over for the last three hours.

"Ah…I've found myself a bit behind in the news as of late and I wish to catch up," Celestia explained.

Luna merely quirked a brow at this answer and said in a skeptical tone, "You've been at this same activity for several days straight. I doubt you are that far behind in the news around Equestria. Now tell me, what ails thyself sister?"

Celestia sighed as she knew that trying to hide anything from Luna was pointless. They could never really hide anything from each other, even as fillies, and the two rulers learned that it was better to just be straight forward with each other. So, somewhat reluctantly, the Alicorn of the Sun sighed one word, "Discord."

Luna's other brow came up to join the first as she asked, "What about him? He's been defeated by the bearers of the Elements of Harmony, was he not?"

"That's the thing though," Celestia said with a frown, "I'm not so sure he was defeated, at least not in the way we were expecting. When you and I used the Elements against Discord, he turned to stone. Now though, he vanished without a trace."

Luna hummed thoughtfully. "Perhaps he was finally vanquished once and for all," she supplied.

Celestia shook her head at that. "No, while the Elements can defeat enemies of Harmony they never bring lasting harm to anypony. I've also gone over the area where Discord was last scene with every spell I know, and I've been able to pick up traces of what almost feels like Teleportation Magic."

At this, the Moon Princess looked alarmed, "But transported where?"

"That's what I've been trying to figure out," Celestia explained while gesturing to the papers and map. "I've been looking at news all across Equestria, trying to find any patterns that seem like Discord's usual work. However, nothing has shown up and I don't want to alarm everypony by telling them all Discord is missing."

Luna pondered this for a minute before giving her thoughts on the matter. "Perhaps…he was transported away from Equestria all together?"

Celestia turned to the map with a frown. "That's what I'm worried about. Because, without the Elements of Harmony to reign him in, who knows what disaster Discord will bring to wherever he wound up?"

Elemental Nations, Konoha…

Naruto was having one of his better dreams, one where he had just been pronounced Hokage and had declared the day become National Ramen Day. However, just as he was about to give Sakura a kiss on the cheek after she had proclaimed her undying love for him and saying that Sasuke was a loser, the band began to play a little too loudly. In fact, they were playing so loudly the entire village was shaking, and no matter how much Naruto ordered them to stop they just kept playing louder and louder until finally –

"AUGH!" Naruto yelped as a particularly loud trumpet blast sounded off right by his ear, waking him up and sending him flying. Clinging to the ceiling with chakra from where he leapt up from, Naruto could only glare at the source of his rude awakening. Discord stood in the middle of his bedroom, an assortment of instruments strapped to his body and playing full blast, some even without the Draconequus touching them. "Discord," he growled, "I thought you said you were going to cut back on the chaos?!"

Discord spat out the harmonica in his mouth and gave the irate blonde a cheeky grin. "Well, since you told your Hokage yesterday," at this Discord's head turned into a replica of Naruto's and even matched his voice, "'I wanna get back to training Gramps so I'll be ready for the finals next month,'" at this he turned his head back to normal, "I figured you'd thank me for making sure you got up on time!"

Naruto looked at him flatly and said, "And the reason you couldn't wake me up normally is because…?"

Discord teleported beside the blonde and gave his whiskered cheek a pinch while saying cheerfully, "What better way is there to start the day than with a little music, Fishcake?"

The Chaos Lord then turned away and headed to the door. "Now, be a good little ninja in training and get ready while I go make breakfast."

"You're not my mother," Naruto grumbled under his breath as his door closed. Giving a sigh, Naruto turned to his closet to pull out a clean change of clothes. However, instead of seeing his usual outfits hanging in his closet, the minute Naruto opened the door he was greeted with the sight of what appeared to be an endless void of shifting colors, floating islands, and…what looked like a herd of flying pigs? Slamming the door closed with a bewildered look, Naruto turned and shouted, "DISCORD!"

Appearing in a flash of light, the Spirit of Disharmony now had on a frilly maid's dress and was holding a breakfast tray that had eggs and bacon in the shape of a smiley face on it. "You shouted?" he asked sweetly.

Naruto's eyebrow twitched and said in a strained voice, "What did you do to my closet?"

Discord quirked a brow before opening the door a crack to sneak a peek. He then closed it and asked, "Oh, was there something different about it?"

Eyebrow twitching so fast you could almost dance to it, Naruto seethed, "I don't know, do closets normally have what look like the gateway to h*** in them?" he paused, thinking something was off before focusing at the matter at hand. He then flung open the closet door and braced himself using chakra on the floor as he gestured to the chaotic void his closet had become. The action caused an almost vacuum like effect as several objects in his room got caught up in the resulting winds. Naruto shouted over the noise, "DOES THIS LOOK NATURAL TO YOU?!"

Discord closed the door with his tail as he tapped his bearded chin with a talon. A lightbulb then went off over his head, literally, as he explained, "Oh, you mean Chaosville?"

"'Chaosville?'" Naruto echoed, ignoring the lederhosen that had somehow attached themselves to his bottom.

"Yes, my hometown. I do hope you don't mind, but since I promised that I'd cut back on the chaos around here a bit I figured that I'd bring my home (in its own personal pocket dimension, mind you) so I have a place to unwind," he explained as his body literally unwound before a pair of knitting needles zoomed in and stitched him back together. "I hope this won't be a problem." He finished sweetly.

Naruto slapped a hand over his face before dragging it off before giving the Disharmonious One an exasperated look. "I guess I can understand that…but why did it have to be IN MY CLOSET?!" he finished with a scream.

Discord pulled out a checklist and said, "Well, I at first went over a couple different options. I wanted it close by since you're supposed to be my 'Summoner' or whatever, so somewhere in your apartment would be ideal. My first thought was bathroom but…well, I think we can all agree that there'd be several reasons that would be a bad idea. I then thought under the bed but," at this he coughed up an enormous hairball, much to the ninja's disgust. The hairball suddenly grew spindly insect legs (ew, why?) and squeaked as it crawled away to disappear from sight.

"When was the last time you cleaned under there? Finally, I found a great deal on closet space."

"And where did my clothes go?" Naruto demanded as he crossed his arms. His wardrobe (or lack thereof) was his biggest concern right now.

"Never fear! Discord is here!" the Draconequus exclaimed dramatically before snapping his fingers, causing him to be in standard tailor attire while the area surrounding Naruto became like a fashion studio. "Now let's see here…" Discord murmured while circling the blonde like a shark. He then held up both the blonde's arms while pulling out a measuring tape. Taking the human boy's measurements while simultaneously writing down something on a notepad with his tail, the Chaos Lord made noises like "Mm-hmm" and "Oh I see!" This continued for a moment before he cried out, "Eureka! I think I have it!"

With that, he wrapped the measuring tape around Naruto's waist before pulling it, causing Naruto to go spinning like a top. When he came to a stop (and the room stopped spinning in his eyes), Naruto looked down and noticed that he was in his usual outfit, not a thread out of place. In fact, it looked kind of new, or at least cleaner than he usually kept it. "…Thanks," Naruto said, feeling the whole process was more than a little excessive but just grateful that he was finally changed.

"Now then," Discord began as he was now in a stereotypical 1950's mother outfit, complete with polka dotted dress and beehive-styled hair. "Here's your lunch and an apple for the road. Now have a great day snookum!" he said while handing the blond a brown lunch bag with a pink heart on it in one hand while giving him a Red Delicious in the other before shooing him out the door.

Naruto stood there for a solid minute before asking aloud, "What the heck just happened?"

Figuring it'd be less of a headache if he just rolled with it, Naruto made his way down the street towards the training field he was supposed to be meeting the Pervy Sage at soon. When he reached the field, Naruto's stomach gave a rumble since he had missed breakfast and decided to eat the apple Discord had given him (despite having mixed feelings on accepting anything the hodgepodge creature gave him). He was just about to take a bite when a large worm poked out of the apple, causing Naruto to drop it in disgust. However, it turned out that the 'worm' was actually a miniaturized Discord who quickly shot up to his normal size, that same infuriating smirk on his face.

"Didn't you stay back at the apartment?" Naruto said in a puzzled tone.

Discord popped the apple into his mouth before belching out everything save for the core in a neat little circle. Turning to Naruto he stated, "Now where would the fun in that be, Fishcake? We do have a deal, after all, and part of that deal is for me to see how strong your resolve is. I can't very well do that if I'm sitting in an apartment all day, now can I? Besides, I'm interested in what 'training' you'll have lined up, Daniel-San." Discord finished in a Mr. Miyagi outfit, complete with flowered headband.

Wondering what in the world Discord meant by that last line, Naruto groaned as his stomach made its presence known with a large rumble. "Oh my, that was impressive. And as much as I'd love to see if your gut can do acapella, I think you'll find the meal I packed you to your satisfaction." Discord hummed thoughtfully.

Hesitantly opening the paper bag in case it was booby-trapped, Naruto was surprised to find a perfectly heated bowel of ramen inside. Eagerly sitting down, Naruto dug into the noodle dish with a pair of chopsticks located inside the bag. Looking up in gratitude, Naruto said after swallowing, "It tastes great! Thanks Discord."

Giving a proud smile, Discord said, "Why thank you, Fishcake! I made it with love…and magic. Mostly magic."

A few minutes after Naruto finished his improvised breakfast, which left Naruto feeling extremely satisfied and fully rejuvenated, Jiraiya appeared in the training field in a flurry of leaves. Seeing the two in a better state than they were yesterday (in other words Discord wasn't driving the blonde insane and in turn Naruto wasn't looking like he was about to start tearing his hair out), Jiraiya gave a brief smile before turning to his student. "Are you ready to begin training today, brat?"

Naruto nodded enthusiastically. "You bet, Pervy Sage! So what are you going to teach me next? Some super cool jutsu that'll blow Neji away? A fighting style that could defeat Bushy Brow's without breaking a sweat? What is it?"

Jiraiya chuckled before holding out a hand to stop Naruto from hurting himself trying to figure out his training regime. "Not so fast, Fishcake. You've yet to master the art of summoning, so we're going to work on that today."

Naruto seemed to visibly deflate. "Ugh…but why?! I already summoned him! Isn't he enough to prove that I can summon?" Naruto cried while pointing at Discord who was lounging on a cotton candy cloud like it was a hammock.

Jiraiya shook his head. "Sorry brat, but you were supposed to summon a Toad yesterday not…a Draconequus. So today we're going to see if you can actually summon one today without sucking like you did earlier."

Naruto sighed before he shuddered. Looking to Jiraiya with a pale face he asked, "But, what if I summon another one of…of…HIM?!"

Before Jiraiya could respond, Discord floated over to the two with a bemused look on his horse shaped face. "Oh come now, Fishcake! I thought we were supposed to bury the hatchet and become bosom buddies now. No need for the hurtful comments. Besides," at this he pulled out a full length mirror and posed in front of it, "There is no one like me, but me! After all, I'm the ever impressive, the long contained, the often imitated, but never... duplicated... duplicated... duplicated... duplicated," he said while duplicating himself before a large neon sign flared to life behind him, "Lord of Chaos, Discord!" and at this his duplicates began applauding and whistling like a studio audience (a few party poppers went off) before vanishing into clouds of smoke. "So there's really no chance of you summoning a Draconequus again Fishcake. The fact that you were able to do it once was more blind luck than anything else."

Jiraiya cleared his throat and said, "While not as…colorful…as he put it, Discord is correct, brat. His appearance was a one in a million shot so you should be able to summon Toads like you should have now."

"In other words," Discord began before turning into a slot machine that spun until it landed on a picture of his face three times and lit up as his actual body slid out of the slot instead of coins. "You hit the Jackpot, Fishcake!" he grinned cheekily.

Deciding to ignore the Chaos Spirit's antics for now, Naruto took a deep breath as he started going through the necessary hand-seals. "Okay…here I go!" he cried before slamming his hand on the ground with a cry of "Summoning Jutsu!"

There was a large plume of smoke that quickly faded to reveal…a tadpole wriggling on the ground. The words 'EPIC FAIL' flashed above Naruto as he slumped over in despair. "Why didn't it work this time?" he asked gloomily.

Jiraiya sighed, "You need to think back to the feeling you had back in the ravine, Naruto. I could feel it before you summoned Discord, you had the necessary chakra; it was just circumstances that stopped you from summoning one of the Toads."

Naruto thought about that for a moment before nodding. "Right." And then he mentally called out, 'Hey Fox! Rent's due!'

Naruto heard a dark chuckle in the back of his mind before feeling a similar sensation to before he summoned Discord. Said Draconequus narrowed his mismatched eyes a bit as he felt a familiar energy coming from the whiskered boy. 'So that's what it was. Interesting,' he thought.

Naruto performed the hand-signs again, and this time a much larger plume of smoke covered the area. When it cleared, Naruto looked around in confusion as he didn't see anything this time as well as the fact the ground had become a reddish brown and bumpy texture. Before he could question his temporary sensei about it, the ground suddenly rumbled, causing him to fall on his behind.

"JIRAIYA! WHY DID YOU SUMMON ME THIS TIME, YOU LITTLE BRAT!?" a loud voice boomed from nowhere. It was at this point Naruto noticed something important: he didn't just summon a Toad, he was on top of a Toad! Looking down, Naruto saw the Toad he summoned could have easily matched the Kyuubi in size and he wore a blue kimono with a large tanto sheathed at his side. A pipe the size of his apartment was clenched in the Toad's mouth and a long jagged scar ran down its one eye. In total, the Toad looked like a Yakuza boss that you should NOT mess with.

Discord stared up at the Toad, eyes wide and ears drooped in disbelief. Sure, he had seen some pretty large creatures in his 1000+ years lifetime, but this Toad guy was absolutely _huge_! Like, size of a mountain huge! The Fishcake was but a mere speck of a thing atop the giant Toad, who was at that moment redirecting his fury at being summoned from Jiraiya to Naruto. Oh, dear…that didn't look good at all…

"Well, it's starting." Jiraiya said with a knowing sigh. He settled down on the ground, closing his eyes and crossing his arms. "I suppose we'll just have to wait here until it's over."

"What's starting?" Discord asked.

Jiraiya looked up at the Draconequus with one eye. "Basically, Gamabunta's trial to test the worth of his Summoner."

"How he going to do—" Discord was cut off when Gamabunta suddenly shot straight up into the air, shaking and cracking the ground with the force of his jump and stirring up large dust clouds.

Discord could hear the Fishcake's screams fade as the Toad attempted to shake the hapless boy off.

"Well, I guess I'm going to follow them." Discord grinned. "This is quite interesting!"

Snapping his eagle's talon, Discord disappeared with a *POOF!*

He reappeared next to a 'manly' screaming Naruto, who was using his chakra to hold on for dear life as Gamabunta jumped with the force of a jumbo jet. Naruto, who was too busy trying to hold on and not wet himself, didn't even notice the Draconequus for a solid five minutes until he found the Chaos Bringer wrapping his eagle claw around his shoulder while his lion paw was in a 'thumbs up' position. Meanwhile, his tail was stretched out and was…taking photos with a camera?!

"What-are-you-doing!?" Naruto somehow managed to yell out despite the enormous amounts of air pressure on his face.

Discord turned from his photo session (after getting one more where he gave the blonde literal rabbit ears for a second) and said in a regular tone voice that was somehow heard over the rushing wind, "I thought I'd commemorate this moment seeing how you were able to successfully summon a toad with some selfies, and what a toad it is! He must be from Texas (joke goes out to the co-author)! I mean, when you first said you were trying to summon Toads, I figured you were either joking, crazy, or both since I couldn't see how being able to summon Toads can be useful unless used properly for pulling a joke. You sir, have humbled me," he finished with a mock bow before looking at the still screaming blonde while stroking his goatee. "You know if you keep screaming like that, you're going to wind up swallowing a bug, right?"

Naruto gave Discord an annoyed look before shouting, "I-think-I-have-more-to-worry-about-theGAK!" Naruto was cut off as a horse fly flew into his mouth. "OH JEEZE, I SWALLOWED A BUG! THAT IS SO GROSS! EW, EW, EW!" Naruto gagged as he tried to furiously wipe his tongue off.

"I wouldn't say I told you so, buuuuut," Discord grinned, "I'd be flying!"

Naruto glared both for the lame pun, the fact that he was stuck riding a toad larger than his apartment until the sun set, and that he had now just swallowed a live insect. Naturally, the excitable ninja decided to overreact. "YOU KNOW WHAT?! F*** YOU DISCORD! HERE I AM, RIDING ON THIS F***ING TOAD, HOLDING ON FOR DEAR LIFE JUST SO I CAN BE A SUMMONER, AND THEN YOU COME IN AND START SPOUTING S*** LIKE THAT INSTEAD OF HELPING?! WHAT THE H*** IS WRONG WITH YOU?! AND WHAT THE S*** KEEPS HAPPENING!?" he exploded, finally deciding to figure out a strange problem he'd been having for the last couple days despite the less than ideal position he was in. "WHY THE F*** DOES MY TALKING SOUND SO WEIRD?!"

Discord, who had pulled the ear plugs out of his ears at the end of Naruto's rant, dryly asked, "Are you done?"

Naruto panted for a minute to catch his breath (and immediately regretted it as Gamabunta jumped once more and nearly choked him on the fresh wave of air. He then regained control of himself and nodded, feeling a little rough in the throat due to all the screaming he's been doing.

Discord nodded, "Good. Now, as to why your 'talking' is so weird, that would be because of my 'Profanity Filter 9000' ™" he declared while holding up a small black box. Launching into an explanation, Discord began, "You see, where I come from the ponies and other creatures I talk to use to curse and swear all the time. However, as a gentleDraconequus, I prefer to keep my language clean and child friendly. That's why I made this, a device which filters out any words I may consider a bit too vulgar for my tastes. Eventually, I was able to use it all over Equestria and soon enough all the ponies were talking nice and clean like a freshly washed window. Granted, the ponies found ways around this by using none vile language in place of it like 'hay' and 'horseapples' and the like, but it was way better than before," he then smiled at the blonde as he began to connect the dots as he finished, "And I always make sure to always have one on me at all times, so no cussing from you or anyone else! Isn't it grand?"

Naruto glared and raged, "NO IT ISN'T, YOU SON OF A B****! YOU DON'T MESS WITH PEOPLES' LANGUAGE LIKE THAT, IT'S A COMPLETE VIOLATION OF THEIR FREEDOM OF SPEECH!"

Discord just laughed and said smugly, "Lord of Chaos, hello~! It's sort of my thing. Besides," he quirked an eyebrow. "This story has to keep its 'T' rating, after all."

"What does that even mean?!" Naruto demanded. "You aren't making any sense – even _less_ sense than you usually do!"

This led to an argument that lasted for hours, with Naruto trying (and failing) to cuss Discord out while the Draconequus just laughed it off. Finally, as the sun began to set Naruto took notice and broke away his concentration at Discord before refocusing it on Gamabunta. "HA! Looks like I win, Boss Toad! I'm gonna be…you…summoner…" he trailed off as he passed out, slipping from his spot on the large Toad's head. Gamabunta made to grab him with his heavily pierced tongue, but a cloud of cotton candy saved him the trouble.

Gamabunta gave a nod of acknowledgment to the mischievous Draconequus before turning his attention on the out cold Naruto, obviously the having overused his chakra. "Hmph, not bad brat. You might become a summoner worthy of my respect yet, though you still have a long way to go. We'll have to have that drink some time to officiate everything, but I've got my eye on you Naruto Uzumaki." He then turned his attention to Discord, "And don't think I'm not aware of what you were doing, strange one."

"What?" Discord asked while playing innocent, an angle halo forming over his head.

"You were keeping the brat's attention off of the situation he was in, allowing him to avoid losing his concentration and falling out of fear."

Discord humphed and crossed his arms, "I did no such thing! I was just having fun messing with the Fishcake as usual. Who are you, my psychologist?"

Gamabunta laughed deep and low at that. "Whatever you say, boy. I need to be off, will you be able to take him to a hospital? The brat should be fine, but better to play it safe than have him die on us. I get the feeling he'll go far in life." With that, he disappeared in a large plume of smoke like how he had arrived.

"Hmph, no wonder blondie here calls him 'Boss Toad', he's so bossy!" Discord mock whined before disappearing in a flash of light and reappearing in an empty hospital room with the still out cold Naruto in tow.

The Disharmonious One gently lowered him onto the bed before quickly teleporting away to inform Jiraiya and the Hokage that the boy was safe instead of causing a panic (he DID promise he'd cut down on the chaos, after all). He then reappeared in the hospital to make sure the doctors did their work on Naruto. At first Discord thought of simply healing him with his magic, but quickly shot down that idea like Pinkie Pie eats chocolate. For starters, his Chaos Magic wasn't the best at fixing anything not already caused by his magic either directly or indirectly. Secondly, while he was a bit more knowledgeable on the world around him thanks to his 'reading lunch', he wasn't used to the unique biology of these shinobi and didn't want to risk harming the boy further than he was already.

Discord paused this line of thought, wondering why he seemed to care about the young human's safety, but wrote it off as him not wanting to see his new source of entertainment broken just yet. Nodding at the probable solution, Discord returned his focus to the other occupant in the room.

As Naruto lay passed out on his hospital bed, snoring away with a bit of drool hanging from his mouth, Discord eyed the Fishcake curiously. Discord could feel a presence of sorts within Naruto; the one that had called him to this world, and had also been felt when summoning Gamabunta. A nurse came in for a moment to check on the Fishcake, and she eyed Discord with a mix of curiosity and wariness, but overall chose to leave him alone. After she left, Discord stood at the foot of Naruto's bed.

"Well, I suppose it's as good a time as any," the Draconequus muttered to himself.

He focused on the energy (or chakra, as the locals called it) and found the source to be housed in Naruto's stomach. But it was a bit…strange. There was something more to the strange energy than Discord initially thought. It was as if he was outside of a building with no visible entrance.

Discord would have made his own, but there was something like a barrier preventing him from doing so. This was mildly irritating, but one does not learn true patience until they are locked away in a statue for 1000+ years. Ugh…he wasn't about to thank Celestia for teaching him the value of anything. So, instead of trying to force his way in, Discord simply pressed himself up against the barrier, and focused on the energy. He allowed himself to be absorbed by the barrier, and within seconds he found himself in what looked to be the underground tunnels to a sewer system. But, quite thankfully the water was crystal clear and didn't stink.

Discord looked around before declaring, "…It's bigger on the inside!"

 **"So, you're the one who's been giving the brat so much trouble…"** a deep voice sounded from behind Discord. **"Not that I didn't find it entertaining, but…"** the Fox's voice adopted a deep growl. **"What are you doing here, Chaos Spirit?"**


	4. Conversing with Foxes

**A/N: Many, many thanks for everyone's support of this fic. Who's awesome? You are.**

 **Wow, this got updated early, huh? This is a pretty exciting chapter, we hope you enjoy!**

Chapter 4: Conversing with Foxes and Chaos meets Sand

 _Discord looked around before declaring, "…It's bigger on the inside!"_

 ** _"So, you're the one who's been giving the brat so much trouble…"_** _a deep voice sounded from behind Discord._ _ **"Not that I didn't find it entertaining, but…"**_ _the Fox's voice adopted a deep growl._ _ **"What are you doing here, Chaos Spirit?"**_

Discord slowly turned around to meet the speaker, and he openly balked at the sight of a HUGE Fox locked behind thick bars. The Fox easily rivaled that Gamabunta fellow in terms of size; but probably had a good two or three sizes bigger than the Toad. Fierce red eyes glared and rows of sharp teeth grinned as the Fox eyed the Chaos Spirit.

Discord, after getting over his initial shock, bowed dramatically. "Greetings, good Fox. As I'm sure you know, I'm Discord, Chaos Spirit extraordinaire. I just wanted to meet the one who helped me out of a rather tight pickle, yesterday."

 **"Heh…"** the Fox scoffed, " **Trust me, Draconequus, any aid I offered was unintentional. As you can see,"** he gestured to the sewer like landscape and at the bars on his cage, **"I'm hardly in a position to help myself, let alone a being I have never even heard of before."**

"Regardless, it was through your – chakra, was it? – That I was able to come to this place. And I must say, I am enjoying myself quite a bit! The chaos on this world is simply breathtaking!"

 **"** **Hmph, you should be thanking the brat then for messing up so royally while trying to perform something as simple as a Summoning. I personally couldn't care less what happened to you. Now, if you kindly don't mind, I was about to enjoy my nap before you arrived. It is one of the few joys I can experience in this accursed seal, and I don't wish to be bothered. Leave."** He ordered.

"Oh don't be such a killjoy!" Discord said coyly, "As a formerly sealed individual myself, I know how boring it can be spending days on end not being able to do what you want. Why, we can be SCBFFs!"

 **"…** **What?"** Kyuubi couldn't help but ask about the absurd acronym.

"Sealed Creatures Best Friends Forever!" Discord exclaimed happily as he was now sporting a t-shirt with said phrase on it and a chibi version of the Draconequus and Bijuu smiling on the front. The Fox quickly realized that he regretted asking.

To the Kyuubi's horror, he looked down to see he himself was now wearing one of the gaudy shirts supersized to fit his frame. With a roar, he began tearing at it with his claws and teeth but the material was sturdier than it looked as it refused to even tear or come off. After several minutes of this, which upon Discord was laughing hysterically, the Fox eventually gave up his attempt and gave the Chaos Lord a look that'd melt the North Pole.

 **"** **If you do not cease your foolishness little creature, I will personally make you suffer for the rest of eternity the second I get out of this accursed seal,"** he growled while baring his fangs.

Discord scoffed, "Big talk from an even bigger jailbird."

The t-shirt on the Tailed Beast shifted and changed color, becoming a large black and white striped prison jumper, complete with a large weight chained to his front right leg. The Fox roared and smashed his head against the bars of his cage in frustration, giving Discord the evil eye.

Seemingly not bothered in the slightest, Discord gave a snap of his lion's paw. There was a bright flash of light and when it cleared, the chakra being noticed he was no longer in his cage but what looked to be a living room of a quaint little cabin, complete with lacy pillowed furniture and portraits mainly displaying cats. Turning around, he noticed there was a small table with a tea tray sitting on it with a pot of tea and small sandwiches covering it. And, sitting across from the Fox was none other than Discord, calmly seated in a plush chair much like the one he just found himself in sipping a cup of tea.

"Feeling better?" Discord asked as he put down his teacup and stared at the Kyuubi with his mismatched eyes.

" **What did you do? Where are we? And did you shrink me or did you grow yourself?"** the Fox asked sharply, now slightly more weary of the hodgepodge creature's powers.

"Well, I noticed you were getting a bit tense, so I thought a change in scenery might be in order," Discord replied happily. "Of course, I couldn't take you out of the seal itself, not without possibly killing Fishcake, but I was able to change the inside of the seal itself for a while. I chose a nice relaxing setting where we can have a somewhat civilized conversation. Is that agreeable for you, your foxiness? Oh, and do try some of the cucumber sandwiches, I made them myself!"

 ***o*o*o***

Shikamaru currently sat beside Naruto's bedside playing Shogi against himself. Since he had already visited with Choji, the Nara figured he might as well visit Naruto since he was already here. No need to make any more trips than what was necessary. For once, the loudmouthed blond was quiet, which was a rarity. But the quiet didn't last for long.

Naruto slowly opened his eyes, seeing Shikamaru slowly come into focus.

"Shikamaru…?" Naruto questioned. "Where am I?"

"Hey…In the-" before Shikamaru could finish, a figure rose out from under Naruto's bedsheets, effectively terrifying them both.

Discord sung out in the tune of 'Good Morning Baltimore', "Good Morning Konoha!"

"AUUGGGHH!" Naruto nearly tumbled out of the bed as Discord emerged from his stomach/seal.

Shikamaru had fallen backwards and was staring at the sight before him. He had seen quite a few strange things throughout his twelve years of life, but this really took the cake. Then, he recognized the creature.

"YOU! You were the one who did all that weird stuff to the clouds and the plants at the Yamanaka's shop!"

"Yes, 'twas I who created the chaos!" Discord said proudly, striking a pose. Discord had to grin. "That little chubby friend of yours didn't seem to mind."

"WHAT THE H*LL, DISCORD?!" Naruto was clutching his stomach. "THAT WAS FREAKY!"

"Oh, do calm down, Fishcake," Shikamaru cocked an eyebrow at the nickname, "I was having a lovely chat with our…mutual friend."

"What?" Naruto paused in his annoyance. "You talked to him?"

"Why, yes." Discord giggled. "He has so many interesting stories!"

"What? Really? What did he say? How long were you two talking?"

"Again, yes – we chatted. He had quite a few things to say about you and the Fourth Hokage, not all of it friendly…and…" Discord paused. "How long have you been asleep?"

"Uhh…" Naruto and Discord turned to Shikamaru.

"Three days and three nights…according to the staff." Shikamaru answered, who by this time had picked himself up and dusted himself off.

"THREE DAYS?!" Both Naruto and Discord shouted at the same time.

"Do you realize this means?!" Naruto was shouting, very nearly pulling his hair out.

"I haven't caused any chaos for _three whole days!"_ Discord had pulled out a calendar from somewhere, marking of the days of the week with red 'X's. "I'm behind schedule! Quick! I need 500 gallons of rubber cement, five dozen eggs, a yard of string and a cardboard box!" he yelled frantically while pulling out a checklist with the random supplies.

"The final part of the exam!" Naruto was yelling as he stood up on his bed. "I have to train! This is bad! This is very, very bad!"

"What a drag…" Shikamaru sighed as he observed the hodgepodge creature and Naruto.

"Shikamaru!"

"W-what?" Shikamaru sweat-dropped.

"When does the final exam start?!"

"T-tomorrow…" Shikamaru glanced between Naruto and Discord, who was muttering to himself as he sorted through trunks that suddenly appeared from nowhere.

"WHAT!" Naruto was freaking out even more. He grabbed the front of Shikamaru's shirt. "Why didn't you wake me up earlier?!" Naruto then pointed an accusing finger at Discord. "YOU! Why were you chatting with that stupid Fox when you could've woken me up?!"

"Hey, I'm just as disappointed as you are, Fishcake!" Discord defended. "I have so much chaos to do, and very little time to do it!" Discord pointed to his eagle's claw which suddenly bore eight different kinds of watches displaying a variety of times that honestly made no sense.

"Is that one actually a cuckoo-clock?" Shikamaru pointed to one of the watches, perplexed. What on earth was this creature? Was he Summons, or something? Whatever, he was clearly as troublesome as Naruto, possibly even more so.

Shikamaru's question went unanswered as Naruto continued yelling about how he couldn't be sleeping, his need to train, and even about where the Pervy Sage was. Naruto kept sending accusing glares at Discord, as if he were somehow responsible for his sleeping for so long.

"What are you talking about all of a sudden?" Shikamaru asked. "I don't know what you're talking about…"

"My clothes!" Naruto finally released Shikamaru. "Discord! My clothes! What happened to my clothes?"

"How am I supposed to know?" Discord huffed.

"DO _SOMETHING!"_ Naruto was yelling again. "MAKE THEM APPEAR! SNAP YOUR PAW OR YOUR TALON OR WHATEVER I NEED THEM!"

"And what's the magic word?" Discord asked with a sly smirk on his face.

"Really?! You're really doing this now?!" Naruto growled before giving a frustrated sigh and saying in a biting tone, "Fine, _please_ can I have my clothes?"

"Very well," Discord said as he turned to a group of twenty-six woman who randomly appeared, each holding a numbered suitcase. "I have hidden them in one of these briefcases. You have a minute on the clock to select your outfit for the day," he finished while holding a microphone to the confused Naruto's face.

"Um, uh, number nine?" Naruto stuttered out, his shocked confusion momentarily holding back the anger and panic.

The woman holding case number nine opened the suitcase to reveal…a fox shaped toddler's onesie. A sad trombone noise played out of nowhere and in a flash of light, the women were gone and the room was back to how it was…except now Naruto was wearing the fox onesie, his eye twitching as a vein throbbed on his forehead.

"D'awww! You look so precious!" Discord cooed as he pinched Naruto's whiskered cheek before snapping a quick photo of the mortified blonde.

"WILL YOU CUT IT OUT!?" Naruto hollered, having enough of the Chaos Spirit's antics.

"Sheesh, sleeping like you're in a coma and then running around…" Shikamaru muttered. He glanced at Discord. "And you're certainly not helping, you freaky goat…"

Sighing deeply, as this was far too much energy for this time of day, Shikamaru shouted, "Calm down, both of you!"

"Huh?" Naruto paused in his attempt to throttle Discord, said Draconequus seemed unbothered by the hands clamped firmly around his throat.

"What is it, Pineapple-head?" Discord asked as he slipped out of the blonde's grasp like he was wet soap.

"Pineapple—" Shikamaru ignored Discord's new name for him and continued with his point. "It doesn't matter if you rush around beforehand. Resting is training too, you know…" then, turning to Discord, he said, "If you wanna cause chaos so badly or whatever, you'll have plenty of time to catch up with Naruto's fight…a Summons or a pet or whatever is permissible according to the rules…"

"OH, JOY!" Discord pulled Shikamaru into a hug. "You are a genius, my fine, Pineapple-headed friend."

Shikamaru sighed. How troublesome.

Naruto suddenly plopped down on his bed.

"Oi, Naruto…you alright?" Shikamaru asked.

"So hungry…" Naruto moaned as his stomach growled.

"Here, I brought this," Shikamaru smirked as he presented the fruit basket he had initially brought with him. Being clung to many times before by the likes of Ino, Shikamaru didn't have much trouble moving.

"It was such a drag, but I brought this as a get-well present for Choji," the Nara shrugged, "But the Doctor said he couldn't have it…something about him having to stick to a particular diet while he's recovering. Let's eat it together."

"Choji? He's really that sick?" Naruto asked as he settled onto the bed into a more comfortable position.

"Nah, he got sick from eating too much BBQ."

"Hm, is Choji that chubby friend of yours who enjoyed my chocolate rain?" Discord asked, finally releasing the Nara and choosing to float above the two boys.

"Yeah," Shikamaru nodded. "He's been wondering who was responsible and when they're going to do it again. He's been very troublesome about it, too…"

Naruto let out a laugh, "That's just like him!"

"Yeah, well neither of you are the type to have female visitors, so here," Shikamaru tossed Naruto an apple. "Eat up."

"Thanks!" Naruto caught the apple. "It looks good!"

Naruto was about to take a bite when he suddenly froze.

"Naruto?"

"Fishcake?"

A devious grin crossed Naruto's features and he snickered. "Hey, since Choji can't have any…let's eat in front of him!" Naruto then glanced at Discord. "Discord here could probably create an _amazing_ and _delicious_ feast! Let's go chow down!"

"Was that a compliment I heard?" Discord asked playfully, a hearing trumpet in his ear.

"Well, it's true, isn't it?" Naruto sprung out of bed. "C'mon, Shikamaru!"

"What a drag," Shikamaru said with a sigh, although there was a hint of a smile on his face.

Before they left, there was one more comment from the jinchuriki, "And Discord…would you _please_ GIVE ME BACK MY CLOTHES?!"

 ***o*o*o***

As they walked towards Choji's room, Shikamaru and Discord were formally introduced.

"Yeah, you really aren't at the top of Ino's favorite things list," Shikamaru was saying to Discord. "She complained about you for nearly three hours straight, it was so troublesome," Shikamaru smirked. "Next time you should do something to make her less loud, like make her lose her voice…or maybe drop her off on an island somewhere. Either way, I win."

They were nearly to Choji's room, when Shikamaru and Naruto both froze, and slowly turned towards one of the rooms where the door was slightly ajar.

"Wha-" Discord started to ask, but he was shushed by Shikamaru.

The Chaos Spirit would have been annoyed, but he caught how serious Shikamaru and even the Fishcake were being.

They carefully and quickly went into the room to find a red-head with a large gourd on his back covering the room's sleeping inhabitant with sand.

Shikamaru quickly activated his Shadow Possession Jutsu and caught Gaara before he could do anything to Lee.

"YOU JERK!" Naruto punched Gaara, and Shikamaru jerked as well with the impact.

"What the h*ll do you think you're doing?!" Naruto demanded of the Sand Ninja.

"Oi, Naruto," Shikamaru wiped a few drops of blood from his lip. "During Shadow Possession Jutsu, it's moving me too, got it?!"

"Sorry, Shikamaru," Naruto quickly apologized.

"His face is cracked!" Discord pointed at Gaara, who observed the two ninja and the hodgepodge creature with all the interest of watching paint dry.

"What the h*ll were you trying to do?" Naruto questioned, slowly backing up to stand by Shikamaru. Gaara didn't answer Naruto right away. He merely stared, as if trying assess them. "What were you trying to do Bushy Brow here?!" Naruto demanded once more.

"I was trying to kill him." Gaara answered with cold simplicity.

Discord shivered, which was a rare thing for him to do. He was scared. This boy…he could feel the killing intent and he could smell the coppery scent of blood. "H-hey now…" Discord said nervously. "You jealous over your own lack of eyebrows?" Discord chuckled. "I mean, you could just draw on your own. Eyebrow pencils are a thing, you know."

The Sand Shinobi gave the Disharmonious One a blank stare for several moments, causing the normally composed Discord to discreetly swallow the lump that had formed in his throat. He then said in a voice so low that only Discord heard it, "Mother, what is that strange creature? Would you want his blood? It is sure to be unique. Yes, I'll make sure to give you every drop."

An almost unseen nervous sweat appeared on Discord's forehead. There was definitely something not right about this kid. Even when going against Celestia and Luna with their Elements of Harmony, was Discord not as scared as he was now.

Shikamaru wondered how the Sand Ninja could be so calm. That fact was truly worrying. Could Gaara really not move or was he just biding his time? _'We have to keep him talking…'_ Shikamaru thought _, 'at least, until we come up with some kind of plan…'_

"Why'd you have to do something like that?" Shikamaru asked. "You beat him in the match right? What, you have a personal grudge or something?"

"Nothing like that," Gaara replied in the same, cold monotone voice. "I just wanted to kill him. That's it."

"How can you be so casual about it?" Discord asked. He couldn't understand the boy. Sure, he caused chaos, but this boy…was an entirely different kind of chaos. He didn't like it.

"Because, he is alive and I wish him to die. I have the power and the ability to take his life, so why not carry it out?" Gaara probably would have shrugged if he were capable. "I have killed those who I have disliked in the past, and I intend to continue to do so in the future."

"HOW CAN YOU SAY SOMETHING SO SELFISH?!" Naruto pointed angrily at Gaara.

"You must've had a pretty lousy upbringing to say something like that…" Shikamaru said, ignoring the sweat on his brow. It was a combination of his exerting himself and his own personal fear. His shadow slightly fluctuated. Crap. He had to keep his focus. "All you care about is yourself."

Shikamaru didn't like how the Sand Ninja made him feel. Death was certain if they didn't do something, and he knew that Gaara could easily overpower both him and Naruto…Shikamaru paused in thought. What about Discord? He didn't know all of what the creature was capable of, but maybe…maybe he could get them out of this before things got worse.

"If you get in my way, I'll kill you too." Gaara said.

This was _really_ bad.

"Go ahead if you can!" Naruto challenged, but Shikamaru and even Discord objected.

"Oi, Naruto!" Shikamaru quickly shushed the blond.

"I don't think antagonizing ol' Raccoon-Eyes there is the way to go about doing things, Fishcake."

"Discord…" Shikamaru turned slightly so that he could look at Discord, but still keep an eye on Gaara.

The Chaos Spirit glanced down at the Pineapple-Head and blinked. The boy's face remained neutral, but something in his eyes showed how scared he truly was. The request was silent, yet loud and clear: _do something._

Shikamaru didn't know if he had to somehow buy time or distract Gaara. So he began to bluff and hoped Discord understood his silent request. "We didn't show off what we could really do at the preliminaries," Shikamaru said. "You're the one who's at the disadvantage here; it's three against one!"

"Yes, quite," Discord agreed. Maybe ol' Raccoon-Eyes was so bland and boring he wouldn't understand what Discord was trying to communicate. "Your _feet_ are in quite the _sticky_ situation; in fact, the _room_ should be _spinning_." Shikamaru and Naruto quickly sent chakra into their feet, and the room slowly started to shift. " _Jumping_ out the _window_ is your only hope for _escape_."

Gaara's eyes widened in surprise to see that 'Lee' was speaking, looking at him with strange, mismatched yellow eyes. Shikamaru released Gaara just as the room started spinning, and the two Konoha-nin ran for the open window while Gaara tumbled around the room.

"Where's Lee-oh." Shikamaru started, only to see that a sleeping Lee was passed out on a pink cloud of cotton candy. There were two more cotton candy clouds waiting for him and Naruto, and they leapt onto them. Both Naruto and Shikamaru felt slightly woozy from being in the spinning room, and it was a strange sight to see that the room in the hospital was spinning, but not the hospital itself.

Discord emerged from the window, shouting, "Let's get out of—"

 ** _"ENOUGH!"_** Gaara's voice raged from within the room.

Discord froze upon seeing that he was partially encased in sand.

"Sh*t!" Shikamaru cursed.

"Discord!" Naruto yelled. "You _have_ to get out of that sand no matter what!"

Discord was honestly mildly concerned, because he couldn't do anything to Raccoon-Eyes' sand. That didn't bode well.

 _"SAND COFFIN!"_

"DISCORD!" Naruto's voice did nothing to hide his fear or worry.

The sand crushed Discord's lower half, causing him to blow up and expand like a balloon. The swollen Discord burst into a wave of glitter and confetti. From beneath the boys floating on cotton candy clouds, an irate voice shouted, "You tried to kill me! He _actually_ tried to kill me!"

"Discord…" Naruto sighed in relief.

 **"** **T** ** _hi_** _s_ i **s s** ** _o…_** " Gaara pulled himself out from the room, slowly leaning out of the window. Gaara's voice became increasingly distorted as he spoke. His skin was cracked and flaked in places. A manic grin was on his face, his bloodshot eyes watched them like a predator watching its prey. _"…_ _ **FUN.**_ _L_ e **t's** ** _kil_** _l_ t _h_ _ **e**_ **m, M** ** _o_** **t** ** _h_** **e** _r."_

A straightjacket suddenly appeared on Gaara, and Discord slowly flew backwards, taking the three Konoha-nin with him. "Oh-kay, we'll be going now…" Discord had never felt so unnerved before. "Good day, to you, sir!"

"Y _o_ _ **u can'**_ _t k_ _ **ill**_ m **e…"**

Gaara used his sand to tear the straightjacket to shreds. His eyes focused on Discord. "That beast is nothing compared to me." Gaara's voice was normal for the moment. "I have a _true_ monster inside me!" the manic grin was back, and his sand began forming a large hand to try and grasp them. "You see…I killed the woman who birthed me, my father tried and failed to kill me so many times… **I** _h_ **av** ** _e_** **_k_** **il** ** _l_** _e_ **d** s ** _o_** **ma** _n_ _ **y-!"**_

Gaara was cut off when plants from inside the still spinning room suddenly grabbed him and pulled him back in.

"You shouldn't monologue, I know from experience!" Discord called out.

 _*POP!*_ Discord snapped his lion's paw, teleporting himself and the three Konoha-nin to the other side of the hospital.

"We should probably call somebody," Discord mused as he floated the ninjas to the ground. He made a hollow in a nearby tree's branches and stuck Lee inside. More branches sprouted from the tree and covered the sleeping ninja, concealing him from sight. While it probably wasn't the most optimal of choices, it would have to do until 'ol Raccoon-Eyes wasn't currently hunting Bushy Brow.

"You think?! And can't you do something about him? You made yourself out to be such a big shot in your stories!" Naruto replied.

 _"_ _So_ sorry for not being used to someone trying to _kill_ me!" Discord huffed back, a touch of real concern in his voice. "I've had beings try to fight me, seal me, and even once or twice banish me, but the land I'm from usually has a very strict _no killing_ policy – I'm definitely beginning to see why now, that was scary! If I was anybody else, I would have probably been killed when Sandy the Raccoon back there tried to crush me!"

Naruto made a face as he thought about how close a call Discord had. Then, Naruto thought of something that Gaara had said. "Guys…" Naruto was completely serious. "I think that guy is like…like _me."_

Discord shivered at the thought. Whatever bijuu was inside of Gaara was one he definitely wasn't planning on meeting anytime soon.

"If so, that means we're going to need to get people of jonin level at least," Shikamaru deduced as he came up with a plan of action. "If we just run away, Gaara is likely to attack civilians in the state of bloodlust he's in. Naruto, you'll need to make some Shadow Clones to keep him distracted. Discord, you need to use your magic to keep any civilians out of harm's way. I'll go looking for the nearest jonin and come after you as fast as I can. Everyone ready?" Seeing two nods, Shikamaru shouted, "Okay…go!"

 **+0+0+**

 **Ah, yes...the cliffhanger. I only love 'em when I'm the one using them.**

 **Until next time, over and out awesome readers! And thanks again for reading/ following/faving/reviews!**


	5. Fox, Tanuki, and Draconequus

**Thanks to everyone who has done all the things that makes every fanfic writer's day! My inbox is as happy as a clam.**

 _Chapter 5: Fox, Tanuki, and Draconequus_

Gaara looked around the area where his prey had escaped to. Having shaken off the plants that strange creature had sent on him, the Sand ninja was out for blood, both figuratively and very literally. His Sand Armor had shifted back into place, giving him his emotionless façade, but it was more than clear from the hungry look in his eyes that Gaara was far from satisfied.

 ** _"Hunt them down, Gaara! The Kyuubi's vessel, those Leaf ninja, that hybrid freak…KILL THEM ALL SO I MAY BASK IN THEIR BLOOD!"_** a dark, psychotic sounding voice shouted from within the boy's mind.

"Yes mother, they will all die by my hand and you shall have your fill. So many targets, so many ways to prove my existence!"

The redhead then spotted some civilians who were nearby stopping to watch what they thought was just another disagreement between ninja. A smirk formed behind Gaara's sand as his leftover sand began slithering towards the unsuspecting humans. Perhaps he could entertain himself and mother as he gave chase. However, just as the sand began to wrap around them, the people disappeared in puffs of smoke and left life-sized clown dolls with words like _'Sucker'_ and _'Fool'_ written on them.

"Ah, ah, ah, Raccoon-Eyes, no outside interference or I'll have to penalize you!" a taunting voice called out. In a puff of smoke, Discord floated above the Sand ninja in a referee's uniform.

Suddenly, Gaara found himself in a boxing ring and somehow his clothes had been replaced by that of a boxer's (though his gourd remained). "Laaaadies and gentleninja! In this corner weighing I don't know how many pounds and probably some ounces, we have Gaara 'Raccoon-Eyes' of the Desert! And in this corner, weighing probably some more pounds and ounces, we have Naruto 'Fishcake' Uzumaki!" Discord announced on a mic he held in his paw. A spotlight lit up the opposite side of the ring, showing Naruto in similar attire to Gaara and looking nervous. "Let's get ready to RUMBLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" Discord cheered as he rang a bell that had materialized beside him.

Suddenly, another Discord dressed as a trainer appeared next to Naruto and was rubbing his shoulders. "Alright champ, remember the game plan Pineapple-Head came up with. Keep tha' bum distracted and make sure his sand don't catch yah, otherwise you'll have more than sand in yer shorts to worry about!" Discord informed his 'summoner' while speaking in a Brooklyn accent.

"I am uncomfortable with this plan," Naruto claimed as he wiped some of the nervous sweat from his brow.

"Don't worry, as long as you got me watching your back you'll be-erk!" Discord chocked out at the end as a tendril of sand looped around his long neck like a noose.

"Your existence annoys me," Gaara said from his side of the ring as he made a motion with his hand. "Die."

The sand tightened around Discord's neck and the Chaos Lord began to turn an array of colors. First was blue, then purple, then neon orange, then a neon-checker pattern. Discord's concentration on the area seemed to fail as the ring and the two shinobis clothes became normal in a flash, leaving them to fight on a thankfully empty street in Konoha. Finally, as it looked like the sand was about to break his neck, Discord reached up with his talon and actually pulled his head off like one might a hat. After the sand noose faded, Discord reattached his head with an annoyed scowl on his face. "Do you mind? I was trying to have a conversation!"

Gaara stood still for a minute or two, looking at the Draconequus with dead eyes. Suddenly, his look became more maniacal as he said in a whisper that could still be heard, "This creature is beginning to interest me. I'm going to enjoy **p** ** _r_** _o_ **vi** n _g_ _m_ _ **y**_ _e_ _ **xi**_ **s** t _en_ c **e b** _y_ **killing you!"**

"If you want to prove you exist, try looking in a mirror!" Discord snapped as a full length mirror suddenly appeared in front of the redhead. "It might do you some good anyway. I mean, just look at yourself!" Discord chastised as he took on the appearance of Rarity. "Have you seen your hair? It's a rat's nest! And the bags and tattoo aren't doing you any favors! Tsk, tsk, you should take more pride in your appearance." Suddenly, the mirror shattered to reveal Gaara standing with his arms crossed and multiple tendrils of sand whipping around him. "…you know that's seven years bad luck, right?" Discord deadpanned as he resumed his normal form.

"Get over here!" Gaara sneered as he shot his sand at the Chaos Spirit.

Before the sand could make contact, Naruto leapt from his place on the sidelines and, using a kunai he had palmed, cut the tendrils back. "Hey, jacka**!" Naruto growled, "Your fight's with me, so leave Discord out of it!"

Discord was momentarily at a loss for words. Was Fishcake…defending him? In his 1000+ years of living, no one had ever done that before! It was especially weird considering what a pain in the flank Discord had been to the boy since they had met.

Naruto continued to talk, "He may be obnoxious, annoying, and a royal pain in my a**, but he's one of the people I can call my friend, so you'll have to get through me first!"

Again, Discord was at a loss for words. Fishcake actually considered him…a friend? He honestly never had a friend before, so this was quite a new experience for the Disharmonious One. Discord shook his thoughts off for the moment so he could focus on the sandy psychopath in front of him now. He'd think more on Fishcake, no, Naruto's words and actions later if they survive the next five minutes. Then maybe he could figure out what this tight feeling was in his chest.

"Friend, huh?" Gaara repeated with a chuckle, one that was filled with bitter resentment. "What a foolish notion. Friends don't make you strong, you can only rely on yourself for strength. That is how I have always been, a demon who loves only himself."

A chill ran down Naruto's spine at those words, as he had all but confirmed that Gaara was a demon container just like he was. _'Is…is this what I could have been like if I didn't meet people like Gramps, Iruka-sensei, and my team?'_ he wondered, shivering at the thought. The self-preservation part of him seriously wanted to back down. Yet, Naruto highly doubted he could escape even if he tried to flee. But, as scared as he was, Naruto shoved his fear to the side, and decided to face Gaara head-on. A Hokage would do that sort of thing.

Discord's thoughts were of a similar nature, _'Yeesh, this kid…there is definitely something not right with him. I mean, I get where he's coming from and all, but killing people just for the sake of killing? That ain't a kind of chaos I'd want to get behind no matter how desperate I get!'_

"Oi, Fishcake!" Naruto glanced back at the smirking Discord for only a moment. "Let's hurry and kick ol' Raccoon-Eyes' sandy cheeks to the curb and head home."

"Right!" Naruto grinned.

Gaara then gave another dark chuckle as he raised both of his hands, instantly putting the human and Draconequus on guard. "If you're so eager to protect each other…the **n** _yo_ _ **u**_ _c_ _ **a**_ **n** **_DIE TOGETHER!"_** he finished in a dark voice as a wave of sand nearly as tall as a building rose up behind him.

Naruto gave a subtle look to Discord and the Draconequus was able to get his meaning: divide and conquer. Naruto made a familiar hand sign and soon, over a dozen Naruto's were in the area. They all ran to different sides of the murderous Gaara and gave out taunts like 'Over here!' and 'Can't catch me!' Gaara, not wanting to miss his target, spread out his sand wave and used it to attack all the clones at once. The sand easily caught and crushed the blondes, but they all went up in puffs of smoke. Gaara whipped his head around, trying to find the boy and his pet freak. What he didn't see was Naruto standing on a cotton candy cloud above his head while Discord subtly slinked behind the unsuspecting sand user.

Just then, Gaara heard a loud noise and turned to its source. There stood Discord with an industrial sized vacuum in his mismatched hands. The vacuum's suction was so strong that all of Gaara's sand started to get cleaned up. "Nothing like a little Spring cleaning!" Discord shouted over the loud noise.

Naruto got ready to pounce the moment Gaara's Ultimate Defense was taken away. However, Gaara made a gesture with both hands and the vacuum was ripped apart like a piñata, setting his captured sand free.

 **"USELESS!"** Gaara cried as he prepared to send sand in all directions in sharp spikes. **"USELESS, USELESS, USELESS!"**

One of said spikes pierced the cloud Naruto was on, causing it to disperse and for him to fall to the ground where he was caught by a large, clawed hand made of sand. Discord meanwhile was able to dodge the spikes by bending his body in strange and twisting ways, including the usage of a Twister mat to do so. However, the ground he was on soon gave way to a pitfall trap and buried Discord up to his neck. The Draconequus tried to move out of the trap but found that, like earlier, he couldn't force the sand off of him, like it had a will of its own. Naruto was dumped unceremoniously next to the still buried Discord and the sand surrounding them reared up like a snake coiling to strike.

"Nowhere to run," Gaara stated before giving a pushing movement with his hand. **"D** _ie_ _ **i**_ **n a** **des** ** _er_** t."

The sand surged forward and the two continued to try and break out. However, before they could get free or the sand reached them, a glorious green-clad figure suddenly appeared in front of the duo in a defensive position. The sand halted at that and Gaara seemed to recognize the man, as he clutched his head as if in pain.

Naruto recognized the man as well. "Bushy Brow-sensei!" he called out in relief, causing Discord to raise an eyebrow at the 'unique' nickname. His other eyebrow soon joined the other as the man briefly turned his head to see if the two were alright. The man looked like an older version of that Lee kid, right down to the overly bushy eyebrows.

Might Guy turned his attention back to the redhead that had tried to kill both his student and the youthful individuals who had prevented him from doing so. "And just what do you think you are doing?" he asked in a surprisingly serious voice for someone so… _not_ serious looking.

The sand around them slowly disintegrated around them, being absorbed back into Gaara's gourd. Gaara meanwhile, clutched his head while he took in ragged breaths. As soon as his sand fully returned to its gourd, Gaara suddenly straightened and was blank-faced as if nothing had ever even happened. He simply crossed his arms over his chest and slowly started walking away.

He paused briefly, turning back to look at them. "I _will_ kill all of you, very soon," he stated as if it were fact. "And by doing so, I will prove my existence."

The redhead then went back to simply walking away, as if he had never even been trying to kill anyone.

Discord wanted to say a quip or something, but he held his tongue, in the figurative sense. He was finding that this world tended to be rather painful if he didn't.

Naruto swayed slightly, weary from exhaustion and exerting himself. The fact that he was absolutely starving didn't help, either.

"Are you both alright?" Guy-sensei asked, quirking a thick eyebrow at the pair.

Naruto silently nodded.

"Wowie! That was a close one!" Discord wiped his brow. He quickly floated over to the one clad in green and shook his hand, "Thank you, good sir!"

"Of course, Strange One!" Guy-sensei nodded and smirked, allowing his teeth to _*twinkle*_

Discord briefly paused. He didn't know that the Humans here were capable of that.

"Anyway, where's my precious student?" Guy-sensei asked. "That youthful Nara boy said something about hiding him away in a tree…"

"Of course!" Discord snapped his talon, and Lee appeared before them, floating on a pink cloud, still passed out. He was glad that Pineapple-Head came through. Where was the kid, anyway?

"Lee!" Guy-sensei quickly scooped up Lee, checking him for any injuries. Giving a sigh of relief, Guy-sensei turned to the Draconequus and the blond. "Thank you, for protecting my precious student."

"Yeah…" Naruto forced a smile.

"Sure thing, Bushy-Brows the First!" Discord happily dubbed the man. (Bushy Brows I, because 'Bushy Brows the First' was a mouthful, and took forever to type).

"Heh," Bushy Brows I chuckled at the nickname. "Well, I'm taking Lee back to his room, and I'll send someone to get Shikamaru…"

He paused when Discord snapped his paw and (somewhat) surprised Shikamaru suddenly appeared before them, sitting on a pink cloud.

"Hey there, Pineapple-Head." Discord greeted with a smirk.

"Freaky goat," Shikamaru lazily returned.

"What happened to you?" Naruto asked.

"Well…" Shikamaru sighed. "When I finally found Guy-sensei, my chakra was pretty much depleted, as much of a drag as it was. I figured I would just watch the clouds from where I collapsed…"

"Heh…" Naruto gave a half-hearted chuckle. "That's just like you, Shikamaru."

"Well, let's head back in…" Guy-sensei started, but Naruto shook his head.

"Actually…I'm going to head home, now. I'm feeling better…I'll see you later, Shikamaru. Thanks again, Bushy-Brow-sensei."

Naruto trudged off, and Discord gave Bushy Brows I and Shikamaru a salute before floating off after Naruto.

The blond appeared to be depressed, given how Discord could almost see a raincloud hovering over him.

"What's the deal, Fishcake?" Discord asked. "Hey, about some ramen from that Ichiraku place you like so much?"

"Okay," Naruto managed a smile – well, it was more like a grimace.

The two walked in silence for a few more minutes before Naruto spoke up again. "I could have been like him, Discord."

"What? Like who?" Discord questioned, slightly confused about the sudden comment.

"Gaara…he's got a monster in him like I do…" Naruto stared at his feet. "If I hadn't had people like Iruka-Sensei, Gramps, Kakashi-Sensei, my teammates, and even you…" Discord's eyes widened briefly at that. There was that strange feeling again. "Then…" Naruto shivered. "I would've been alone, killing without remorse. That's what I would've become…Just thinking about it…it's honestly terrifying."

"H-hey, c'mon, Fishcake!" Discord said, smiling. "Here's the deal, don't let that frown get you down," he pulled Naruto's cheeks into a smile. "Let me tell ya something, Naruto." The blond stopped his glaring when Discord used his name. "You aren't like that Raccoon-Eyes character at all. You shouldn't look at what could have been, but rather focus on the here and now. You want to be Hokage because keeping people alive is what's really important to you, right?" Naruto nodded. "And clearly, ol' Raccoon-Eyes' focus is destroying as much as possible. You two are as different as night and day."

Discord released Naruto, and the blond finally managed a true smile. "…Thanks, Discord."

"Sure thing, Fishcake. Now how about that ramen?"

The two made their way to Ichiraku's and made their orders, with Discord adding whipped cream and a cherry on top of his miso ramen. The Human and Draconequus then started to just talk without the usual sarcastic remarks, biting comments, or other antagonistic dialogue. They talked about many different things, from Discord telling stories about his time in Equestria (often exaggerated on his part but all together truthful) while Naruto told the Chaos Spirit about his own pranking exploits and about his short time as a ninja. The duo had some laughs at each other's stories while simultaneously being intrigued about their different lives. As the day slowly became night, the odd duo left the ramen stand, both feeling that they had started their first steps on becoming true partners through mutual understanding.

After getting back to the apartment, the blonde began getting ready for bed while trying to psych himself up for the Third Exam tomorrow while Discord idly lay his serpentine body on the couch. Just as Naruto was about to go into his bedroom, Discord called out, "Say, Naruto?"

Knowing by now Discord only called him by his actual name when he wanted to seriously discuss something with the boy, Naruto walked over to the lounging Lord of Disharmony. Naruto took a seat on a nearby chair and asked, "What do you need, Discord?"

The hybrid creature paused for a moment as if debating on whether or not to ask this next part. "Earlier, when we were facing off against Sandy the Raccoon-Eyed-Psychopath, you called me your friend…did you mean that?"

Naruto gave a gentle smile at that. "Yeah Discord, I did. Sure, you're obnoxious, rude, and often disgusting, but you've actually helped me out a lot since we met. So yes, I think we're friends. Besides," at this he gave a mischievous grin, "I can't remember the last time this village was so lively!"

That weird feeling returned as Discord processed the blonde's words. He also felt a slight stinging in his eyes, probably leftover sand from escaping Raccoon-Eyes. "Oh…I…never really had a friend before," he said in a more gentle tone than he normally uses.

Naruto frowned momentarily at that before smiling again and saying, "Well, I guess that makes me the first, huh? Do I win a prize or something," he finished jokingly.

Discord smiled at the banter and said smoothly, "Why yes, you win a one way ticket to your bed! All expenses paid!"

With a snap of his paw, Naruto was instantly teleported to his bed with the covers already on him. The whiskered ninja was about ready to go to bed before pausing. "Say, Discord?" he asked, knowing the Chaos Spirit was still listening.

Discord appeared by his bed in a poof of smoke and asked, "Yes, Fishcake?"

Naruto paused before saying what had been on his mind ever since waking up in the hospital, "Do you think I'll be ready for the Exam tomorrow?"

Discord scoffed, "What a silly question, and trust me, I _know_ silly! Of course you'll be ready, Fishcake! You've been training this entire month if I've heard correctly, and you're now able to summon toads bigger then Ponyville itself! Not to mention you have me in your corner, so you might as well have already passed whatever exam you're doing."

Naruto grinned at that and said, "Thanks Discord, I needed to hear that."

"Any time Fishcake, good night," Discord said before flicking off the light with his tail and leaving the room via the door this time.

Naruto was able to fall asleep soon after, his worries alleviated slightly by Discord's words while the Draconequus lay on the roof for a bit staring at the night sky.

 _'_ _Friends, huh?'_ he thought. At any rate, tomorrow was sure to be interesting!

 ***o*o*o*o***

 **Well, here we are! The exams are coming to a close in a few chapters, and that means the Konoha Evasion arc is about to begin. We're really excited about that!**

 **Also, to the people who have been asking: Yes, we have a plan for the Ponies at some point. That's all I'm going to say on this matter, other than,** ** _"Soon, my pretties, soon."_**

 **Thanks again for taking the time to read and review!**


	6. Onto the Arena!

**Thanks for reading, reviewing, and all that jazz. My inbox is as happy as my dog at hearing the word 'walk'**

 ** _Chapter Six: Onto the Arena!_**

Naruto woke up early that morning, not exactly feeling well-rested. He kept having strange dreams involving Neji striking all of his Toad Summons, resulting them turning into sand. Naruto could do nothing as he sunk into the ground, while Discord floated by waving little flags with a chibi-cartoon-version of Naruto's face on them. Naruto tried calling out for his help, but found that he couldn't speak.

"Cat got your tongue, Fishcake?" Discord asked.

Naruto opened his mouth to respond, but hundreds of meowing and screeching cats poured out of his mouth.

 _"GAHHHH!"_ Naruto quickly sat up and started grabbing at his tongue. It took a minute or two longer than Naruto would have cared to admit for him to realize that it was just a dream. D*mn, he couldn't even dream about becoming Hokage or beating Sasuke and Neji. Naruto silently cursed again when he realized that even his own personal thoughts were subject to Discord's meddling.

Naruto stretched and got ready for the big day. He sighed when he realized that he had a good five hours to kill before needing to be at the stadium.

When Naruto came out of his room, he found that Discord was still asleep. Tiny sheep were sawing logs above his head. Instead of disturbing him, Naruto left a simple note that read,

 _'Went for a walk. Be back an hour before tournament starts.'_

Naruto quickly and quietly packed all of his supplies that he thought he would need, and set out in a random direction. As he walked, Naruto couldn't help but think about his match, along with what he had heard and seen about Neji.

Kakashi-sensei had said that not even his Sharingan could track Neji's movements, while Lee had mentioned that Neji was amazingly powerful and a genius.

"I'm probably severely outmatched, here…" Naruto muttered.

"Naruto-kun!" a woman's voice shouted.

"Huh?" Naruto turned to face Ayame, who was waving at him from Ichiraku's entrance.

"Come here!" she smiled at the blond.

"Hey," Naruto greeted, slowly approaching. He smiled at the girl and Teuchi. Well, it was more like a grimace, and he knew it.

"Have you eaten breakfast yet?" Teuchi asked.

"Don't really have an appetite this morning…" Naruto shook his head. His stomach disagreed with him by rumbling loudly, causing the boy to blush.

"Have a seat," Teuchi said, and he began preparing a meal.

Naruto was shocked. Ichiraku _never_ did breakfast, and only opened around eleven on weekdays.

"But…" Naruto started to protest, but he didn't get to finish. Ayame was asking him questions about where Discord was, how his training was going, along with any other subject other than his upcoming match. Slowly, Naruto began to feel more relaxed, as his mind was forced to focus on other things.

There was a _*pop!*_ and Discord showed up and yawned. "Good morning, all."

Somehow, neither Ayame nor Teuchi reacted to Discord's sudden appearance, other than a simple greeting. The only reason Naruto failed to react was because he had gotten pretty used to Discord popping in and out of places. He also didn't bother to question how Discord knew where to find him. He'd probably say something ridiculous like "plot convenience" or something like that.

Teuchi then set a large bowl of ramen in front of Naruto, filled with quality cuts of meat and shellfish.

Discord was presented with an equally delicious-looking bowl of ramen topped with whipped cream and marshmallows.

"Here we are, enjoy." Teuchi said simply.

Both Naruto and Discord were surprised.

"Good luck today," Teuchi said with his back to them, as he began cleaning up. "And watch Naruto-kun's back today, won't you, Discord-san?" It sounded more like a demand, than a request.

"Of course I will!" Discord threw his claw around Naruto, but didn't linger too long. Discord could tell that the blond had quite a bit on his mind.

"Good luck today, Naruto-kun, Discord-san." Ayame smiled at them.

*o*o*o*

After thanking Teuchi and Ayame for the breakfast, Naruto and Discord headed towards the training grounds. By now, the villagers began exiting their homes, and most of them gave the pair a pretty wide berth. Others simply ignored or (somehow) didn't notice the hovering Draconequus. There was a pair of guys talking about Neji Hyuuga, how they were looking forward to his match, along with hurrying to the stadium so that they could get good seats.

"Heh…" Naruto paused briefly. "It won't be so bad…I mean, I can summon a Toad, and you're in my corner, so it'll be okay!"

"That sounded rather forced, Fishcake." Discord smirked. "Maybe I should cause a bit of chaos…?"

"NO!" Naruto said much louder than he intended.

Naruto blushed slightly as he ignored the momentary stares and whispered, "You can cause chaos later, but right now, especially now, isn't a good time!"

"Then calm yourself," Discord said with a hum, suddenly wearing a guru outfit, and gongs sounded from nowhere.

Naruto gave Discord's appearance a deadpan stare.

As Discord and Naruto made their way to the training grounds, Discord asked in a slightly bored tone, "Remind me again why we are here, Fishcake?"

"Because this is the place where I became Genin," Naruto answered. "It's also the place where I became teammates with Sakura and Sasuke… plus, coming here'll probably help calm my nerves…"

Heading over to the posts, Naruto noticed someone he recognized.

"Hinata!" Naruto smiled, while in his mind he thought of the last time he had seen her: bloody and beaten by the one who would be his opponent. Yeah, he had sworn revenge on the guy for doing such a thing to Hinata, but _saying_ one thing and actually _doing_ it was another thing entirely.

 _"EEP!"_ Hinata squeaked, and slightly hid herself behind the nearest post.

"N-Naruto-kun!" Her cheeks burned. Just then, Hinata noticed that Naruto wasn't alone…he was with some _thing…_ Her eyes went wide as she observed the mishmash creature. "N-Naruto-kun…what-what is that behind you?"

"Excuse me, Miss," Discord said, replacing the post Hinata had been poorly hiding behind. "But I'm not a _'what'_ , I'm a _'who'_." He floated up and extended his lion's paw. "The name's Discord, number-one chaos causer. See? I have a plaque and everything." Discord produced said plaque and even a degree or two to prove it. "I'm Fishcake here's new partner."

"Fish-c-cake?" Hinata hid the hint of a smile on her lips while Naruto rolled his eyes and briefly glared at Discord. "I-it's so nice that you have a n-new partner, N-Naruto-kun…"

Hinata nervously poked her fingers together, avoiding Naruto's gaze. This caused Discord to quirk a bushy eyebrow and glance between the Fishcake and the girl.

"Yeah," Naruto was saying, scratching the back of his head. Naruto was talking about how he had accidently summoned Discord, while the Draconequus had one thought on his mind: Hinata clearly liked Fishcake, and he clearly didn't even know it! Discord then started plotting and planning. While he normally caused chaos, he wouldn't mind playing cupid for a while.

Naruto then asked Hinata a more serious question. "Neji's a relative of yours, right? Is he strong?"

Hinata stared at the ground. "…Yes." Hinata then smiled slightly. "But you might be able to win, Naruto-kun."

"Yeah, I am pretty strong after all!" Naruto laughed. He really didn't sound convinced.

"I bet you can win, Naruto-kun." Hinata said with sudden conviction, her stutter gone.

"Eh?" Naruto looked at Hinata.

"You know, when you cheered for me, I felt stronger than I ever have before." The girl continued to poke her fingers together. "When the preliminaries ended, I came to like myself just a little."

Discord had to frown. Why was this girl so clearly filled with self-doubt? She almost sounded worse than that Fluttershy pony back in Equestria for Celestia's sake, and her name had the word 'shy' _in_ it!

Unaware of Discord's inner thoughts, Hinata continued. "From someone else's standpoint, it may not look like anything's changed, really…But…" a somewhat more visible smile showed on the girl's face, "I feel like I was able to change."

Naruto said nothing, but he was clearly thinking about Hinata's words. His eyes widened somewhat as Hinata added, "I've been thinking that it was thanks to you, Naruto-kun."

Instead of laughing or even giving a smile, Naruto put his head down. "You really think so, Hinata?"

"Huh?" both Hinata and Discord sounded (Discord even more so).

Naruto finally had to confess something that he hadn't shared with anyone. "I may look strong to you, but…" he sighed, "All I do is mess up. And I act tough because I'm frustrated-"

"It's not like that!" Hinata's voice was much louder than even she intended, but she didn't seem to notice.

At this point, Discord was eating popcorn, very much enjoying the show.

Hinata smiled, much bigger than she had been earlier. "Even when you messed up, in my view, you were always a proud failure."

Naruto looked as if he couldn't believe what he was hearing.

"When I look at you, it…it impacts my heart." Hinata suddenly seemed to realize that she wasn't acting as shy as she normally did, so her blush and slight stutter slowly returned. "Y-you're not perfect, so…so, it's because you mess up that y-you have the strength to rise up from that." Her blush became stronger. "I-I think such strength is true strength, Naruto-kun. I think you're an incredibly strong person."

Hinata hid herself behind the now-normal post that Discord had initially replaced, a smile on her face and blush on her cheeks.

Naruto smiled, his nervousness having been alleviated. "Thanks, Hinata!" Naruto's face broke out into a genuine grin. "Even though I was always the bottom one, I was tense in the shoulders somehow." Naruto flexed to loosen himself up a bit. "I was depressed, which was totally not my character. But I feel better now!"

Hinata smiled, and Discord had to smirk as well. There was something about this girl that brought out something in Fishcake that no-one else could.

"Naruto-kun!" Hinata smiled as well.

"Well, we're off to the match!" Naruto declared.

Naruto with Discord following, started to leave, but Naruto paused and turned back to the girl. "Hinata…I kind of thought you were…" both Hinata and Discord watched Naruto carefully. Hinata's inner thoughts were going nuts. What was Naruto going to say to her?!

"…gloomy, hesitant, and weird."

"Naruto…" Hinata muttered miserably.

Discord face-pawed.

"But I quite like people like you!" Naruto finished, as he walked away.

Discord noticed that Hinata's eyes were wide in shock and her cheeks were red.

"Oh, yeah!" Naruto turned back. "Be sure to come watch us kick that Neji's butt!"

Discord felt a pull of some kind that made him realize that he liked the fact that Naruto included him without a second thought. Discord also realized that he didn't mind too much, either.

Just then, fireworks set off, diverting their attention to the situation at hand.

"Uh-oh! Time to run!" Naruto realized. "This is bad! We can't be late!"

Naruto started to run, but Discord created one of his classic cotton candy clouds and scooped the blond up and they set off.

Seeing that he didn't really have to worry about watching where he was going for a minute, Naruto turned and waved to Hinata. "Bye, Hinata! Cheer us on, alright? And thanks again!"

They were off much faster than Hinata could respond, but she smiled. She didn't even realize when Kiba came up behind her apologizing for being late, and talking about Shino's upcoming match. Hinata was still in slight shock from having the longest conversation she had ever had before with Naruto, plus the fact that he had said that he _liked_ her…well, not in the way that she hoped, but it was a start.

Kiba paused, sniffing the air. Something was strange. It smelled sweet, sort of like cotton candy, but Hinata didn't have any on her and she clearly hadn't eaten any. So why…? Never mind. The two set off towards the arena.

Meanwhile, Discord was flying towards the arena with Naruto in tow.

"Hey, Fishcake."

"Yeah?"

"You _do_ realize that Hinata girl _likes_ you, right?"

"What do you mean? We're just classmates…"

"Oh, Fishcake…" Discord sadly shook his head. The boy was truly dense.

*o*o*o*

 _Meanwhile, at the arena…_

People were waiting for the competition to start, but seeing as how a few people who really needed to be there weren't present, the competition couldn't exactly start. Shikamaru had to grimace in annoyance, because even though Naruto had Discord – a creature that could manipulate reality – he was still late. How troublesome.

Just then, there was an explosion of pink smoke in the center of the arena, and at first everyone thought it was an attack. Instead, there was a fanfare accompanied by a banner that read **_"CHAOTIC EXPRESS"_** and explosions of confetti. Shikamaru sighed heavily and pinched the bridge of his nose.

"HHHHEEEEERRREE'S DISCORD!" the Draconequus proudly called out, striking a pose. "And I'm not alone, lovely ladies and gentle-ninja!"

"It's _him!"_ Ino seethed, pointing accusingly at Discord.

"Whoa…you _were_ telling the truth!" Sakura honestly couldn't believe her eyes. What was that thing?

"Presenting the number one knuckle-headed ninja and soon to be Hokage, NARUTO 'FISHCAKE' UZUMAKI!"

As the smoke cleared, Naruto was wearing a ridiculous outfit that put his usual bright orange to shame. It consisted of a feathered boa, high heel red boots, and a bedazzled technicolored suit that had his name literally written all over it. In short, the blonde's outfit could have outdone Liberace.

"Of course _he_ would be the one to summon some freak of nature like that…" Sakura muttered. But then she paused. Naruto could _summon_ things? Why had he summoned this thing before his match even started? That was a foolish waste of Chakra! "…What an idiot!"

Naruto briefly glared at Discord but quickly removed the horrendous clothing, revealing his usual outfit underneath.

"Sorry I'm late!" Naruto called out, taking his place where all the other contestants were standing. The banner and clothing all disappeared in poofs of pink smoke, and Discord took his place slightly hovering about Naruto.

"…Okay…" The proctor eyed Discord curiously. Clearing his throat, he said, "Now that you're here, may all other contestants save Neji Hyuuga, please go to the waiting booth in the stands."

Once all the other Chunin hopefuls left the arena (Naruto idly wondered where Sasuke was), the proctor said, "The first match of the Chunin Exams is about to begin!"

Naruto gulped but remained steady as he glared at his opponent, who was standing several yards away from him looking stoic but kept an eye on the floating Chaos Spirit in the corner of his pale eyes. This was it.

 _"_ _FIGHT!"_

 ** _So the next chapter is Naruto vs. Neji! Both of us have been excited about writing the match, so please look forward to it!_**

 ** _Thanks for reading – and for any reviews you leave behind!_**

 ** _To the guest who left the review on Ch.1... what?_**


	7. Caged Birds and Cotton Candy

**A/N: Wow, you lovely folks have shown this story so much love, it brings a tear to my eye. Thank you! Keep those email notifications coming, lovies; my inbox will be eternally grateful.**

Chapter 7: Caged Birds and Cotton Candy

Naruto and Neji stared at each other, sizing each other up. Naruto's eyes were full of determination while Neji's were full of calm contempt. Discord meanwhile was hovering over the two combatants, a bowel of popcorn floating beside him and 3-D glasses rested over his mismatched eyes.

Neji was the first to speak. "Allow me to make a recommendation to you and your…little pet."

"Pet?" Discord mouthed, looking offended. Who the hay was he calling a _'pet'?!_

Naruto only glared. "What would that be?"

"You should forfeit the match."

"WHAT?!" Naruto glared at the Hyuuga.

"The boy's gotta be kidding…"

"Why the h*ll would I do something stupid like that?" Naruto demanded.

"It's quite simple, really…" a hint of a smirk showed itself on Neji's face, "Because I've already won."

"But you haven't even done anything," Discord pointed out.

"It doesn't matter," Neji didn't even spare Discord a second glance. "You see, I've already won simply because fate has determined me to be the victor; and you the loser. Not even a Summons as ridiculous as that one can help you."

"AS IF!" Naruto shouted. "We're gonna kick your sorry a**, especially for what you did to Hinata!"

"What a fool…" Neji continued talking, while Discord floated a little closer to Naruto.

"Fishcake, he's monologuing."

"Wha…"

Naruto glanced from Discord to Neji, who was making strange trumpet noises as he continued speaking. (The Hyuuga seemed completely unaware of this fact.)

Naruto smirked while he charged, catching Neji off-guard. Neji managed to block Naruto's kick, but it hardly made Neji budge.

"You shouldn't monologue!" Naruto shouted, going in for another series of punches and kicks.

 ** _"_** ** _BYAKUGAN!"_** The veins around Neji's eyes popped up from underneath the skin, and swiftly, Neji performed a series of swift maneuvers on Naruto's leg.

"Gah!" Naruto collapsed onto the ground.

"What did I tell you?" Neji glared at his opponent. "It is your destiny to lose, and mine to win."

"Now, my boy," Discord was wearing a doctor's uniform while an eyechart of some kind that had what appeared to be googly eyes glued to it in place of a medical report, floated behind him. "Those veins don't look very healthy, might I recommend some eye-drops?"

Discord squeezed the small bottle, and Neji quickly performed a series of strikes that prevented the water from hitting him. He then took jabs at the obnoxious Summon, but Discord evaded them with ease, even going as far as to poof up a ballerina tutu when dodging with a neat pirouette.

Meanwhile, Naruto called out, **_"SHADOW CLONE JUTSU!"_**

Nearly 40 clones appeared around them, and Discord grinned. "Good thinking, Fishcake!"

"That's right, Fishcake!" Another Discord called.

"WHOOO! Who's number one?" A Discord called out from the stands. People gaped at a Discord who was wearing a soda hat and an oversized foam-finger with **BNDFF** written on it in bold print.

"What the-?" The ground underneath Neji began to warp and twist as it turned obnoxious colors of neon reds, oranges, and yellows. This momentarily distracted him as he focused on maintaining his footing.

"Take this!" Numerous Naruto's yelled out, throwing shuriken and kunai at their opponent.

 ** _"_** ** _Eight Trigrams Palms Revolving Heaven!"_** Neji had intended to save this move for later in the exam, and he was partially annoyed that he had been forced into using it against someone like Naruto.

In the stands, Hiashi Hyuuga gasped in surprise. "He taught himself that technique?"

Only the main clan members were permitted to know such a technique, which showed just how impressive his nephew was; it was something he had learned merely by observation.

Meanwhile, in the arena, Neji was becoming very irritated. "Just quit already!" he then got into a wide stance. "You're in my field of Divination." With that, a yin-yang symbol appeared beneath him and he charged forward, striking the real Naruto at faster speeds then before. The Hyuuga counted down the strikes by doubling the amount with each count, and finished with a cry of, **_"Eight Trigrams – 64 Palms!"_** With that, the real Naruto was forced to the ground with a cry of pain as his clones began to poof due to his lack of chakra to maintain them.

The last of Naruto's clones dissipated, and even though he still had to deal with Discord's clones, they weren't that big a concern, yet. Since Discord could manipulate the reality around him, Neji was already concocting a plan to take down the annoying creature.

Naruto slightly stumbled as he got to his feet, his chakra having been depleted. "Not until I pay you back for what you did to Hinata! Until then, I won't lose!"

"When will you realize you have already lost?!" Neji demanded. He glared at the blond.

"I can't lose here…" Naruto panted for breath. "If I lose here, I won't be able to become Hokage…I won't be able to protect the people that I love…"

"What makes you think someone like you could become Hokage, much less protect anyone?" Neji asked. "For someone like you, it is your destiny to lose, no matter how hard you work…" Neji turned slightly to look at Hinata in the stands. "Even for someone like Hinata-sama…it was her destiny to lose to me, simply because she is weak."

Naruto glared, his blue eyes flashed angrily. "How can you say that?! Isn't she your family? How can you treat family so coldly?"

"Family?" Neji scoffed bitterly. "Allow me to show you exactly what 'family' does…" he untied his forehead protector to reveal a symbol of some sort tattooed on his forehead. "As a Hyuuga from the branch clan, the main family seals us in order to keep us in line…"

Memories of his father screaming and writhing on the floor as his uncle activated the Seal to ensure that the man remained under control shot through Neji's mind. He was a bird in a cage; forever destined to be locked away and controlled.

"The main clan keeps the branch clan in cages; and we are nothing more than pawns!" Neji glared where he knew his uncle and cousin were sitting. "Even though there are those of us who are _more deserving_ of being in the main clan, we _will_ _never_ be able to escape our cage – that's _why_ you _will_ lose!"

"Oh, boo-hoo," Discord mocked as he floated between the two boys. "Let me play you a sad song on the world's smallest violin," he said as he began rubbing two of his talons together, producing a sorrowful violin piece.

While it was concerning the amount of animosity towards his own family the kid was displaying, Discord knew that just because he had a sob story doesn't mean his actions were justified. From what he gathered from Fishcake, Pretty Boy seriously hurt his younger cousin earlier in the exam and mocked her the entire time. Now most ponies would say that the Draconequus lacked empathy due to his chaos causing, but that was the furthest thing from the truth. Discord would only bring chaos to liven up the lives of the beings around him, not to cause serious harm. And to hear someone obviously centuries younger than him would do something like that to his family, well, let's just say the Chaos Bringer was more than happy to knock him off his high pony. And if he ended up helping Fishcake win his match, well that was just a bonus, really.

Neji scowled at the Chaos Bringer. "Are you mocking me?" he hissed through gritted teeth, thinking that the abomination of Uzumaki's was making light of his and the Cadet Branch's suffering.

"Not really, this actually is the world's smallest violin," Discord protested, bringing up an oversized magnifying glass and holding it up to his talons to reveal a tiny violin was indeed being held by his eagle claw. He then had to dodge a palm strike from the irate teenager. "Yeesh, if you don't like the violin you just need to say so. Maybe some jazz trombone?" he asked, taking out said instrument while wearing an outfit from a 1960's jazz club.

"Shut up, you dull creature! You don't know how my family has suffered thanks to this Seal!" Neji roared as he prepared to attack both Summon and summoner at once.

"Ptooh!" _*Splat!*_

The audience and the two Chunin hopefuls froze as Discord literally spat on Neji's forehead! The Draconequus poofed over wearing a pair of oil stained bib overalls and a trucker cap and began to wipe the older boy's spit covered forehead with an old looking rag, said boy did nothing but shiver in disgust and revulsion.

"Discord, what the h***!" Naruto called out to his summon, breaking out of his shock first (though a part of him couldn't help but find the whole thing hilarious and karma for what Neji did to Hinata).

"I'mma just puttin' in some spit shine!" Discord replied cheerfully with an exaggerated slang.

Neji snapped out of his shock at this and aimed to strike Discord once more, only for him to be replaced by a life size plushy with a _'Kick me!'_ sign attached to it. The Chaos Spirit appeared right next to Naruto in his normal (for him) state, buffing the talons of his eagle claw on his furry chest. "You're welcome, by the way," he called over to Neji.

"For what?!" Neji snarled, his calm masked momentarily broken by the infuriating mongrel that Uzumaki called his summon.

A full length mirror poofed up in front of him as Discord said, "Why, for clearing up your pretty face of course! You were making such a fuss about that ink stain on you, I decided to get rid of it," he finished cheerfully.

Neji barely heard him as he could only stare at his forehead, his clean, Seal-free forehead in shock. Somehow, that hodgepodge creature had removed the Cage Bird Seal like it was no more than a marker stain! There was a major amount of noise coming from the Hyuuga section of the stands, but the combatants and other spectators largely ignored this for now, too busy focusing on the intense match before them.

The older shinobi was too busy staring at his now bare forehead to take notice of his opponent. Taking advantage of Neji's distraction, Naruto mentally called out to the Fox:

 _'Time to pay your rent, you stupid Fox!'_

While the Demon Fox didn't really appreciate being called 'stupid,' he complied with a pretty generous portion of chakra, the blond being shrouded by a dark orange cloak of energy. Personally, he was enjoying this match. Naruto produced more clones to help him hide. Clouds of pink-tinted mist shrouded them, and the ground began to warp once more. Naruto more than easily traversed over the moving ground, even going so far as to crack it every time his feet came into contact.

Neji quickly forgot about his Seal and quickly went into his stance to prevent Naruto from attacking him. Naruto, in his shroud of orange colored chakra, charged full force at Neji's spinning Rotation. It was a classic case of the immovable object meeting the unstoppable force, where only one would emerge victorious. The two chakras grinded against each other causing sparks, before there was a large flash and bang.

The audience waited with baited breath as a cloud of dust settled around where the two boys were, waiting to see if the fight was truly over. Discord hovered above the cloud trying to appear nonchalant, an effect that was ruined by the fact he was chewing on his claws/talons like a beaver chewing on wood.

 _'C'mon Fishcake, don't let me down!'_ he silently encouraged, a thought that was mirrored by several members of the audience; namely Hinata, Iruka, and the Third. The dust started to settle, and it revealed two forms, one of which was standing. The field finally became clear to reveal Neji standing over Naruto's beaten form.

Neji panted as he looked down on his opponent. Normally, he would have gloated saying that it was his fate as a failure to lose to a genius like him, but this fight had been something of an eye opener for Neji, as the formerly talentless dead last had pushed him to the brink and his strange Summon had freed him from the cage he had been trapped in for over a decade. So, he decided to do the honorable thing.

"You fought well," Neji told his down opponent. "Perhaps next time we fight, you'll even be my superior in skill. For now though, victory is mi-!"

"Don't go counting me out yet, Neji!" a voice sounded, causing Neji's eyes to widen as the 'Naruto' he was standing over poofed out of existence.

The ground underneath Neji split, revealing a dirty but still in it Naruto who gave a devastating uppercut to the older Genin. Neji seemed to fly through the air before gravity reclaimed him, causing him to crash on the ground. Neji groaned as he tried to move his exhausted body to no avail, the headband he had been holding since he took it off having slipped from his fingers. He looked to the boy who had beaten him as he stood with a proud, yet not mocking, grin. It was clear from his damaged and bloody fingernails that he had dug his way from where his Shadow Clone had laid and burrowed underneath the Hyuga. Neji had been so preoccupied with the Shadow Clone and exhausted that he hadn't even noticed the boy's movements until it was too late.

Seeing that Neji was unable to continue, Genma the judge yelled out, "The winner of the first match is Naruto Uzumaki!"

It was as if a bomb had gone off as the crowd cheered wildly for the end of an epic match. For a moment, even the most antagonistic members of Konoha had put aside their hatred for the Kyuubi to cheer the blond on. And the one making the most noise was, of course, Discord. The Draconequus was wearing a victory T-shirt and had a #1 foam finger on one hand with a noise maker in the other, and yet another noise maker was being blown in his mouth as confetti and streamers fell from the sky.

"Woo-hoo! You did it, Fishcake! What a show! Encore, encore!" the chaos master cheered happily.

Naruto looked up at Discord and grinned, giving the Draconequus a thumbs' up.

"Uzumaki," Neji said from his place on the ground as the medics came to pick him up. "Congratulations on your victory. It was careless of me to not notice the Shadow Clone, your signature technique. It seems that it was I who was fated to lose today."

Naruto, while still smiling, said in a more subdued tone. "Ya'know Neji, all those times I was held back in the Academy? They were because I couldn't do the Clone Jutsu." He then said encouragingly as the other boy's pale eyes widened. "You can fight against your fate, Neji. After all, unlike me you're not a failure."

The older boy gave a nod of acknowledgement as the medics put him on a stretcher to carry him out of the arena. Naruto meanwhile walked back towards the competitor's booth with Discord floating closely behind.

"I must say, Fishcake; that was the most fun I've had in a while! Sure, it wasn't my usual brand of chaos, but it was definitely an entertaining experience if nothing else! A little sappy at the end there, but I guess if it wasn't for sap we wouldn't have syrup." The Draconequus finished as he pulled out a plate of pancakes and poured a generous amount of syrup on them.

Naruto's stomach rumbled at the sight of the foreign food, causing the boy to blush. With a smirk, Discord handed Naruto the now dubbed 'victory pancakes.'

"Thanks, Discord…for helping out back there, and for the food." Naruto grinned at the Draconequus.

That strange pang in his chest returned again, if only for a few seconds. Discord blinked a few times before quickly turning away and waved his paw, trying to ignore the unfamiliar, yet becoming commonplace feeling in his chest. "Yeah, yeah, just eat your food and watch the show, Fishcake."

The next few fights were interesting in their own right, though not nearly as entertaining as Fishcake's had been in Discord's own humble opinion. Though the next fight was a major disappointment when, a guy who wore way too much make-up and was carrying what looked to be a mummy forfeited before he even fought his opponent, a somewhat creepy looking guy with a concealing trench coat and dark sunglasses. The next match was better when good ol' Pineapple-Head took on a girl with four pigtails that used a huge fan to create tornado force winds like she was a Pegasus pony (Discord couldn't help but cackle at Fishcake's 'inventive' way of getting Pineapple-Head to the stadium floor. He must have been a good influence on the blond!)

"Sorry, Shikamaru!" Naruto called, although the boy didn't sound sorry at all.

"You certainly don't sound like it…" Shikamaru fixed Naruto with a glare. How troublesome.

And while there was quite a bit of action in it, it was like watching a high speed chess match in a way as both opponents tried to out strategize the other. It ended when the Pineapple-Head managed to catch Pig-Tails in his shadow using the hole Fishcake had dug earlier to expand his shadow's reach. It should have been an easy victory for Pineapple-Head, but then for whatever reason he forfeited right then and there! Talk about a bummer!

The last one was apparently highly anticipated, as it was originally scheduled for right after Fishcake's match but was postponed since Raccoon Eye's opponent hadn't shown up yet. Just as it looked as though the match would have to have been canceled altogether, two figures showed up. One was an adult who had most of his face and one eye covered, along with silver hair that spiked in a way that Discord was willing to place bits wasn't natural. The other was a boy around Fishcake's age wearing all black and had dark hair styled as (Discord couldn't help but snort at this and know he'd have fun with this later) a duck's behind!

"So who are Emo Boy and Broom Head there?" Discord asked.

"'Emo Boy?'" Naruto snorted as he laughed. Pointing at the pair, the blond continued, "That's Sasuke, my stupid teammate and rival, and Kakashi-sensei, the leader of our team."

Discord grinned. "Well, I'll just have to go and formally introduce myself as soon as this little tournament is over."

"Oh, I can't wait to see that!" Naruto could already see a frustrated Sasuke yelling at Discord as the dobe tried climbing out of something sticky and repeatedly failing.

*0*0*

Fishcake was worried for his teammate/rival, and Discord couldn't blame him. There was definitely something off (even more so) about Raccoon-Eyes, and according to Fishcake when he went to go meet Pineapple-Head after his match, Raccoon-Eyes had killed a couple people who had tried to prevent his match. Discord shuddered at the thought. While he was coming to terms that this world was more violent than Equestria, the thought of such callous loss of life made his stomach turn.

The match between Emo Boy and Raccoon-Eyes started off pretty intense: Sasuke attacked Gaara, and Gaara's sand immediately moved to protect him from any attack Sasuke could dish out. It was clear from the beginning of the match that Raccoon-Eyes was out for blood, quite literally. Emo Boy was holding his own, keeping his distance and attacking when he had an opening with speeds even Rainbow Dash would respect. Then things took a downward turn when Raccoon Eyes completely encased himself in a sphere of sand that was all but impenetrable. Discord got a bad feeling from the sphere, but apparently Fishcake's teammate had a plan for this. Gaining some distance, he ran through some hand seals and what appeared to be lightning formed in his hand, the arena filled with the sound of chirping birds.

Sasuke charged, and was surprisingly able to pierce the supposedly Invincible Shield.

"He did it!" Naruto whooped and hollered, but Discord shivered. Something wasn't right.

"I'M BLEEDING! IT'S MY BLOOD! I'M BLEEDING!"

"That can't be good…" Discord had that same feeling like he did when they were back in that hospital room.

Sasuke sensed the danger moments before a large, sand-colored claw reached out for him. The Uchiha knew how close he had come to being crushed, and quickly focused on not being killed and maintained his distance. He would have to think of another strategy and quickly.

Meanwhile, Discord noticed something floating in the air; a lot of somethings in fact. He watched as a rain of white feathers fell from the sky, lulling him into a hypnotic trance. Before he knew it, the Disharmonious One was out cold.

"Just for a few minutes…" he muttered sleepily.

Discord snorted, and the sheep sawing logs above his head baaed angrily at him and ran away as he rubbed the sleep from his eyes. "Mm, I was having such a nice dream too. Nice and chaotic." It was then he noticed the pure pandemonium around him as ninjas with musical note and hour glass headbands fought leaf wearing ninja. A large purple barrier was surrounding the area where that Hokage person had been sitting at and…was that a giant, three headed snake smashing buildings in the distance?

"Huh," Discord hummed as he took in the chaos surrounding him. "I guess dreams really do come true!"

Looking around, it seemed that Fishcake and Pineapple-Head were gone. But where to? Now to find Fishcake and find out what the hay is going on!

Discord took off to the skies, trusting his instincts to lead him right where Fishcake was.

0*0*0

 **A/N: Word doesn't consider "monologuing" a word. It is, I Googled it to make sure. Spellcheck, how could you fail me?!**

 **ALSO: We will be writing about the Caged Seal and the Hyuuga Clan in future chapters. Please look forward to it!**

 **Thank you again for your support!**


	8. The Ultimate Chaos!

**AN: The author TexasBean thoroughly apologizes for taking so long to get this chapter out. Thank you for your patience, follows, reviews, and favorites. Now, onto the story! Yosh!**

 **AN2: Both authors wish you the Merriest of Christmases!**

 _Chapter Eight: The Ultimate Chaos! Discord to the Rescue!_

 _O*o*o*o*O_

 _"Huh," Discord hummed as he took in the chaos surrounding him. "I guess dreams really do come true!"_

 _Looking around, it seemed that Fishcake and Pineapple-Head were gone. But where to? Now to find Fishcake and find out what the hay is going on!_

 _Discord took off to the skies, trusting his instincts to lead him right where Fishcake was._

 _o-o-o_

Discord flew over the village, taking in the sight of pleasant pandemonium. Well, it would have been pleasant without all of the panicked screams and people trying to kill each other. Along with trying to kill him – Discord dodged a few shuriken that were thrown his way by a few of the Sound Ninja.

With a smirk, Discord snapped his paw and turned the shuriken into giant neon purple and pink bees the size of a normal Human's thumb and sent them after the Sound Nin. The Sound Nin gaped at the sight for a few seconds before quickly dodging the bees.

The bees were harmless of course, they simply were creatures that originated in the Everfree Forest. But to get stung by one…well, that was a riot.

A Sound Nin gave a very unmanly yelp as one of the bees stung him in the back. He began panicking as one rightly would after being stung by something as large and mysterious as the strange bee. It took the man about two seconds to realize that he wasn't in pain. When another second passed and nothing seemed to happen, the man gave a brief snort, thinking that the bees were merely another distraction. But instead of snorting, he let out a burp accompanied by bluish-pink bubbles.

His companions looked at him curiously, and he burped again, this time a little more violently. "I _(burp)_ can _-(burp)_ can't _(BURP)_ s _-_ _ **(BURP)**_ stop! **_(BURP)"_**

By then, the invading Ninja realized that the Burp-Bees were something to be avoided. The Burp-Bees attacked as if the Sound Nin had invaded their precious hive, and continued their onslaught.

Discord left the Sound Nin to frantically deal with the swarm, and continued on his way. He knew he was close to the Fishcake, when he came upon a scene in the forest where Pineapple-Head was facing eight Sound Nin. They weren't moving, and the boy had an odd, unnerving look on his face as he looked up at the sky, not even noticing Discord.

The Sound Nin began laughing as Shikamaru's Shadow Possession Jutsu receded. He was going to die, nothing more to it.

"Cut off his head!" a Sound Ninja called out.

Shikamaru knew he could do nothing as the Sound Ninja shot out of the tree at him, kunai in hand. Suddenly, the ground underneath Shikamaru rippled and he was pulled out of the way at the last second. The Sound Ninja that had been about to kill him stared dumbly between Shikamaru and the space he had previously occupied.

"You know," Discord purred in his usual way when he was about to cause chaos supreme. "This is a great day. I'm able to cause as much chaos as I want, it must be my birthday!"

A giant pink cake appeared in the middle of their little gathering, and another Discord wearing thick makeup, a sparkly headdress and tassels on his chest rose out of the cake. It was a scene that unfortunately burned its way into Shikamaru's mind and refused to leave.

The same could likely be said for the Sound Ninja, as one of them began screaming, "My eyes! My eyes!"

"Party favors all around!" Discord called out, and a pony piñata began chasing one of the Sound Ninja irately screaming, "You _want_ candy? I'll _give_ you candy! You brats are _always_ beating me up, well, let's see how much _you_ like it!"

Another was accosted by blowout noisemakers, while another had finger traps on all of his fingers. One Ninja was running and desperately throwing any projectile he could at the Discord who had come out of the cake and was currently trying to give him a kiss.

Two other Sound Ninja were tangled in Silly-String, another was running from a furious donkey with a stake and wooden mallet, and as for the last two, Discord simply tapped them both on the head. The color drained from them until they were nothing more than muted colors. One began rolling around in the leaves, yelling about money, while the other stood possessively by a tree and angrily screaming and threatening anyone who dared come near it.

"Discord…" Shikamaru stared at the scene in shock. He rubbed his neck which had a barely bleeding scratch on it. "…thanks…this was totally out of character for me…"

Shikamaru collapsed to the ground, exhausted and relieved.

"Here," Discord handed a glass of chocolate milk to Shikamaru. At the Pineapple-Head's questioning glance, Discord added, "It'll help you get back your energy. Now, give me the down-low, the _411:_ what the hay is going on?"

Shikamaru took a sip of the chocolate milk before almost throwing it when he realized he was drinking the glass, not the milk. But after a quick reassurance that the glass of milk wouldn't harm him, Shikamaru quickly explained about how the Sand and Sound Ninja had invaded. He, Naruto, and Sakura had been sent to follow Sasuke, who in turn was in pursuit of the three Sand Siblings who seemed to have a crucial role in this invasion.

"Naruto and his team went off that way," Shikamaru pointed in the indicated direction.

"Thanks, Pineapple-Head!" Discord grinned. "And don't worry too much about those guys. My chaos lasts for quite a while!"

When Shikamaru finished his glass he threw the milk away, and cocked an eyebrow as it shattered (melted?) into liquid. Okay…But he did have his energy back now.

When Asuma came on the scene, he was expecting the worse. What he wasn't expecting was a man trying to fight off some paper-horse thing spewing out candy; another sobbing as party favors continued blasting around his head; one running away from what had to be a demented Summons in an outfit that made Asuma immediately want to blind himself; two were in a losing battle with neon-pink and blue sticky string; another had resorted to hiding in the giant cake as the donkey banged on the outside of it with his mallet; another was futilely fighting with the finger traps as they flung him around; one Sound Ninja glared hatefully at Asuma as he gathered leaves into one pile of many; and the last one was doing something to one of the trees that would immediately shoot this story up to an **'M'** rating.

"Ugh…" Asuma turned away in disgust. Meanwhile, Shikamaru was sitting in another tree's branches watching the clouds.

"Shikamaru?" Relief overtook Asuma's confusion. "What's going on here?"

"Naruto's Summons, Discord, did this." Shikamaru shrugged. "It's kind of a drag."

"Well…" Asuma admittedly started to feel sorry for the man being chased by the candy-spewing horse. (The Ninja had finally collapsed and was now a sobbing mess as the horse threw candy at his head.) "I guess I'll just apprehend them…"

Upon having the chaos disrupted by Asuma's intervention, the nine Sound Ninja (well, seven, actually) gratefully and very willingly surrendered. The one who was gathering leaves refused to part with his precious foliage, and he was screaming accusations at the two Konoha Ninja and his comrades that they were all dirty thieves. The one who had been having some very personal time with his tree had to be dragged away from it kicking and screaming much to Asuma and Shikamaru's dismay.

"…I'll carry his pants," one of the Sound Ninja tiredly volunteered when Asuma and Shikamaru failed to get his pants back on. The Sound Ninja's uniform thankfully covered the man's p _****_ , so everyone was saved from the unpleasant sight.

o-o-o

Meanwhile, Sasuke's energy had completely drained, and he was fighting back the Curse Mark, leaving him immobile. Sakura was pinned to a tree by one of Gaara's sand claws, and she couldn't move either. Naruto was questioning why he had summoned such a tiny Toad while cursing Discord for not being there to help because those stupid sheep sawing logs above his head had thrown their logs at the two Ninja.

Oh, and to add to their troubles, Gaara was a strange combination of sand-beast and Human, and the guy was extremely bloodthirsty.

"Hey!" the little Toad was complaining about Naruto being a kid and how he wanted candy.

"Sand Shuriken!" Gaara flung his limbs and sand projectiles shot out towards Naruto.

Naruto grabbed the Toad and jumped backwards, successfully dodging the attack, but he misjudged his strength and slammed into a tree, where he fell onto its limbs. Naruto gasped as he had the wind knocked out of him.

"Humph, you're weak…" Little Toad muttered, ignoring Naruto's 'I just saved your life, you ungrateful turd' glare. "But what's with that guy?"

Naruto observed Gaara again, and shivered when he realized that more sand had covered the Ninja.

Those eyes…those hauntingly familiar eyes…

Gaara was taunting and threatening Naruto and his friends. While that truly angered Naruto, he couldn't help but think of how sad it was. Gaara was angry and he was suffering alone.

Naruto felt like he was looking at a mirror image of himself; the thing that he could have become. He had hated all of the villagers and even himself and he didn't understand why. But then, he had Iruka, Sasuke, Sakura and Kakashi-sensei and heck, even Discord. They showed they cared in their own ways. (Somewhere, Discord felt a pang in his chest.) The ones who acknowledged him as an equal; the ones he would fight for.

"What's the matter? Are you afraid of me?" Gaara questioned, squeezing Sakura's prison just a bit more. "To fight for the sake of oneself? To fight for the sake of others? You should just _love_ yourself and _fight_ for yourself! _That is the definition of the strongest one!"_

Flexing his claws, Gaara demanded, "Now fight me! What happened to that boldness you had earlier?! Show me your strength! I'll just throw that strength to the ground!"

Naruto had a difficult time bringing himself to move. Part of his hesitation was fear, along with the fact that he could see himself in Gaara; the thing that he could have become.

"What's the matter?! If you don't fight me, I'll _kill_ that girl!"

"Darn it!" Naruto forced himself to move.

He charged at Gaara, **_"Multi-Shadow Clone Jutsu!"_**

 ** _"Wind-Style!"_** Numerous mouths appeared on Gaara's body. **_"Infinite Sandstorm Devastation!"_**

Naruto and his clones were hit head-on, all of them dispersing.

Naruto was blown backwards, but instead of slamming into a tree, he landed on a familiar cloud of pink cotton candy.

"Discord?" Naruto looked up at the very welcome sight of the Draconequus.

"So sorry for being late, Fishcake!" Discord grinned.

"You…" Gaara glared at the very unwelcome newcomer.

"Me." Discord. "She," a female statue suddenly rose from the ground, "He," now a male statue, "and It!" and up popped something that looked like Picasso made it while drunk. The various 'art pieces' leapt at Gaara, but the boy easily smashed them with his clawed arm.

"Even if you have shown up to help, it will not make a difference! I will crush you along with everyone else! I will prove my existence!"

"Discord," Naruto stood up on the cloud, a determined grin on his face. "I don't want to lose!"

"Let's do this, Fishcake!" the Chaos Lord cheered, an uncharacteristically serious look on his face, though there was still the glint of mischief in his eyes.

"Who's that guy?" the Toad named Gamakichi asked.

Discord chuckled as he cracked his knuckles (though instead of a crack there was the sound of a duck's quack) and said, "People keep asking me that lately. How's about this for now; I'm an ally to Fishcake and his friends and a nightmare to anyone else! Is that easy enough to understand?"

"Enough talk! Let us begin!" Gaara roared as he leapt forward.

Discord floated up above Naruto while the ninja got into a defensive stance, Gamakichi sitting on his head. The trio prepared for the toughest battle they've ever fought.


	9. Sun, Sand, and Discord!

**TexasBean here! Apologies for this being kinda late! Thanks to all y'all awesome lovelies for your patience.**

 **-000-**

 _Chapter Nine: Sun, Sand, and Discord!_

"Discord," Naruto whispered out of the corner of his mouth with determination in his eyes, "do you think you can distract him for a few seconds? I have a plan, but I need to get close for it to work."

"Mm?" the Chaos Lord hummed as he eyed Fishcake taking out a piece of paper and wrapping it around the handle of one of those funny little knives the people of this world like throwing around. A smirk broke out on Discord's horse like face as he took to the air. "Well, I have been told I can be quite distracting when the mood hits me."

Naruto gave the Draconequus a flat look. "Gee, I can't imagine why," he stated sarcastically.

"Pay attention least you'll die!" Gaara roared as he approached the two, claws made of sand bared.

Discord gave the charging boy an almost bored look. "How rude to interrupt other people's conversations. I think someone needs a time out!" With that, he snapped his paw and the possessed Sand ninja was trapped in...a giant plastic bucket?

Without further ado, Discord poofed over the bucket, wearing an outfit reminiscent of a Renaissance artist. "Behold!" he cackled as he lifted the bucket, showing that Gaara's sand body was shaped like a sand castle, his head poking out of the top glaring murderously at Discord. "I think I'll call it: Castle Crazy Raccoon!" the Lord of Chaos declared while sending a smug grin to the trapped Jinchuuriki. "It has a certain… _je ne sais quoi,_ don't you think?"

"I will murder you!" Gaara seethed as multiple claws of sand blasted out of the 'castle', returning the boy to his monstrous form and swiped at Discord.

The Disharmonious One used his lithe body to his advantage as he ducked and weaved through the claw strikes. That was when things got...interesting. Instead of simply dodging, Discord started using a multitude of odd gimmicks to get out of range of the increasingly infuriated Jinchuuriki's attacks. He went from using a red cape and bull-fighter outfit to pirouetting out of range in a ballerina's tutu and finally using an outfit and dance style similar to Michael Jackson to Moonwalk away from a particularly vicious slash, another Discord dressed as an umpire counting the number of strikes as it went on. It then seemed Discord got sloppy, as while he stopped to pose in a pop and lock position, Gaara finally managed to grip Discord's serpentine body with two enlarged claws. "DIE!" Gaara bellowed as he pulled on the Draconequus, intending to snap him like a twig.

And snapping in two was what Discord did...a piñata shaped like him, that is. The mix-matched creature had taken a 'leaf' (HA!) out of the ninja playbook and had substituted himself with an exact duplicate the moment he was grabbed. "Careful now," Discord said mischievously. "You might wind up with gum in your hair!"

And indeed, the piñata in his hands rained down gum on Gaara. The moment the sticky candies landed on his misshapen body, the chewing gum burst like inflated bubbles, covering Gaara in the substance.

If looks could kill, Discord would have been cremated on the spot from the glare Gaara was giving him. "You think this will hold me for long?!" Gaara grit out as he tried to unstick himself from his current predicament.

"Mm, probably not. Though is should distract you enough for Fishcake to do whatever it is he's planning on behind you," Discord mused.

Gaara's eyes widened at that and began to turn around before hearing a familiar voice call out behind him, "Eat this! _Hidden Leaf Forbidden Technique: 1000 Years of Death!"_

What happened next had Discord's eyes widen to beach ball sizes before he doubled over with laughter, clutching his gut as he floated in midair. "HAHAHAHOOHOOHEEHEE~! I-I misjudged you, F-Fishcake! That was g-golden! Bwahaha!"

Why was the Disharmonious One nearly dying of laughter, you may ask? Well, Naruto had taken the kunai knife he had earlier...and shoved it where the sun doesn't shine on Gaara. Naturally, the possessed redhead took offense to that and, yanking an arm free of the gum, swatted Naruto away like he was a particularly annoying fly. However, Gaara failed to notice that the knife still stuck in his posterior was beginning to smoke, or how Naruto grinned around his split lips as he flew through the air.

"...Boom!" he whispered.

And that is exactly what the Exploding Tag did a second later, blasting apart and covering Gaara's form in a cloud of smoke. Naruto continued his flight till he neared on of the trees, where Sasuke jumped to intercept him and prevent his teammate from breaking his back. The moment before the two boys impacted against the tree, however, they found themselves landing on an extremely large and plush toy pony. The source of this strange occurrence was made clear soon after, as Discord floated over to the Uchiha and Uzumaki.

Meanwhile, Pakkun the ninja pug, Gamakichi the Toad Summon (who had hopped off of Naruto's head at the start of the clash), and Temari the Sand kunoichi, stared at the fight in shock. Pakkun was impressed by the display of techniques and teamwork the Leaf ninja (plus one Draconequus) were showing, Temari was staring in both fear and worry for her youngest sibling, and Gamakichi was cowering while wondering if it was over yet. The smoke started to clear, showing that Gaara was looking worse for wear. His monstrous raccoon form had suffered severe damage from the explosion due to the point of impact being his least protected spot at the base of his tail. While his main body was saved from any injury, the sand that had protected him was falling off his body and leaving him vulnerable. Naruto and Sasuke, meanwhile were pulling themselves out of their unconventional airbag.

Before either boy could say a word, they heard the sound of clapping. Looking up, they saw Discord floating above them with a highly bemused look on his equine face. "That was a marvelous show, Fishcake! You really gave Raccoon Eyes over there something to remember you by! And as for you Emo Boy, that was some quick thinking on your part! While I was ready to catch him, you were able to slow Fishcake down enough so I had time to prepare my little pony there," he finished while pointing to the overstuffed plush. Meanwhile, in the world of Equestria, all the citizens sneezed.

"'Emo Boy?'" Sasuke muttered, one of his eyes slightly twitching.

"Thanks Discord...Sasuke," Naruto said while wiping some of the blood from his mouth.

"Don't get cocky just because you landed one blow," Sasuke warned, deciding to put the strange creature and his annoying nicknames on the back burner for now. "I can't save you this time like I did in Wave, you dunce."

Naruto scowled (though it looked more like a pout) and snapped, "Shaddap, will you!"

"Boys, boys!" Discord chided before grinning his signature grin, "Do I have to put you both in time out?" At this, he had to dodge two shuriken thrown at both Genin who had tic-marks on their heads. "Yeesh, take a joke will you?" Discord grumbled.

Sasuke's face went back to serious as he attempted to catch his breath, the earlier fights and the Curse Mark burning his shoulder taking their toll on him. "Hey, Naruto...Sakura, you have to save her, no matter what!" he stated, much to the blonde's surprise. "I know you can save her...I'll be able to hold him off for a while, you take Sakura and get as far away from here as you can. I've already lost everything once before...I don't ever want to watch those dear to me die before my eyes again!"

Naruto looked at his teammate in shock before a strange noise gained their attention. Discord was holding a tissue to his eyes while sobbing, though instead of tears, bubbles were coming from his eyes. "Oh, the drama! The compassion! It brings a tear to my eye!" the Draconequus blubbered before blowing his nose on the tissue, causing it to burst into a flock of doves.

The two boys could only sweatdrop at the display. "...You attract the weirdest people, dobe," Sauske stated in a deadpan.

Naruto looked ready to argue the point before slumping over slightly. "...Yeah, I guess I do," he sighed lamely before snapping up a glare at the overly dramatic Discord. "THE **** IS YOUR PROBLEM, DISCORD?! CAN'T YOU READ THE ******* MOOD?! WE WERE HAVING A MOMENT HERE, YOU ******* ***** ** * ****!"

Discord dug a claw in his ear, showing only mild discomfort at the tirade yelled up at him. "You done?" he asked casually.

Naruto glared for a moment before sighing again. "Yeah, I'm done. Now if you'll please excuse me, I gotta go prevent my one teammate from getting themselves killed while at the same time trying to prevent my OTHER teammate from being crushed with sand, all while trying to defeat Gaara. You wanna help, or just float around and continue being a distraction?"

Discord chuckled at that and chided, "Well if that's the way you want to go about it, should I just go ahead and put this back?"

With that, Discord whipped out a top hat and, suddenly dressed up as a stage magician, reached in with his eagle claw to pull out...Sakura?!

"Wha...bu...eh...HOW?!" Naruto sputtered as he looked from the now absent tree (with a pile of sand surrounding it) to the out cold but largely unhurt pinkette. Naruto shook his head, deciding not to question Discord's abilities; just when he thought he was getting used to them, Discord pulled a trick that made him rethink what he thought he knew. He was just relieved that Sakura was no longer in any danger. Sasuke had a much more subdued reaction, but his eyes still widened exponentially at the seemingly effortless rescue.

"Thank you! Thank you! I'll be here all week!" Discord bowed before taking out the unconscious kunoichi and floated her over to Sasuke, who getting the memo gently grabbed her bridal style. "So Emo Boy, can you take Miss Forehead" (he ignored how the girl violently twitched at that) "and get her the hay out of here before Raccoon Eyes recovers and decides to turn this forest into a desert. Fishcake and I will handle this."

Sasuke looked ready to argue but then thought on it. He was fairly spent chakra wise and extra power the Curse Mark granted him was waning, turning into pain. If he attempted to fight against Gaara in this condition, even with the redhead weakened, he would most likely just be a liability. As much as it galled him to admit, both Naruto and his odd...companion...were both relatively fresh and if that little display earlier was any indicator, had a better chance of defeating the psychotic Sand ninja. So, with a nod of consent, the Uchiha turned and prepared to leave the clearing with his unconscious teammate in tow.

"YOU THINK I'LL LET YOU ESCAPE?!" Gaara roared as he prepared to pursue, enraged that the girl had been released by that aggravating creature.

Before he could leap off his current branch and chase the two Leaf ninja, Naruto got in between the two, a look of determination on his face. Remembering the words Haku imparted on him, Naruto began gathering his chakra. The energy began to pick up until it was visibly whirling around him like a maelstrom (ignoring how Discord had donned a pair of 3-D glasses and was 'ooh!'-ing at the display). "I WILL PROTECT THEM NO MATTER WHAT!" the blonde declared before unleashing his jutsu. "MULTI SHADOW CLONE JUTSU!"

With that shout, the clearing was literally filled with smoke. When the smoke cleared, all those present could only stare in awe as hundreds, if not thousands, of Naruto clones filled the area. The original Naruto smirked as he pointed at Gaara and stated, "Sorry to keep you waiting! It's time for me to start the 'Naruto Ninja Handbook'!"

Sasuke could only stare in amazement at the feat his formerly deadlast teammate pulled off before one of the clones gave him a gesture to get a move on, which he acknowledged with his mind a whirlwind of thoughts and emotions. The clones then charged at a still recovering Gaara, who could only block with his sand coated body out of commission. The sea of blondes started things off with a wave of shuriken, but this was only a distraction as several clones got under Gaara's guard and kicked him up in the air, using the move Naruto created during the preliminaries the 'Naruto Barrage', though it was on a much larger scale as hundreds of attacks landed on the sand user. As Gaara's battered form fell to the ground, a pink cannon of all things poofed beneath him, causing his body to be lodged in the barrel.

Discord appeared next to the now loaded cannon and, with a mischievous smile, pulled the firing rope. The cannon let out a loud 'BOOM!' as Gaara was shot into the air with a spray of sand and confetti. He rose into the sky, only to be met with another barrage of fists from Naruto.

The raccoon like boy fell painfully onto a large tree branch, stunned but very much alive. Discord, meanwhile, chuckled before blowing the residual smoke off the mouth of the canon.

"It's a good thing I can still teleport objects across dimensions," he mused, "And if I ever see her again, I must thank Pinkie Pie for giving me such a wonderful idea as a Party CannonTM!"

 _Meanwhile in Equestria…_

A pink Earth Pony with a wild mane sneezed, producing a cloud of flour to go up in a large puff and coating the entire room in white.

"Careful Pinkie!" Mr. and Mrs. Cake, the owners of Sugar-cube Corner called over to their hired hoof.

"My Pinkie Sense is telling me that somepony is copying me!" Pinkie mused aloud with a rare frown on her muzzle. She then gave her signature smile as she said, "Well, as long as they're using it for throwing parties, then we're all good! Here's hoping this will be brought up again in later chapters!"

The Cakes could only look at each other and shake their heads at the party pony's antics before the Mrs. went to get a broom for the flour.

 _...Back to the Main Plot_

As Naruto and his clones descended on the downed Jinchuuriki, Discord called out in a loud voice, _**"FINISH HIM!"** _ while driving rock music played from somewhere.

Gaara looked up at the incoming horde of blondes, he grit his fang-like teeth and bellowed out, "THERE IS NO WAY _I_ CAN LOSE TO THE LIKES OF _YOU!"_

With that declaration, Gaara let lose a primal roar and the area literally exploded in a surge of chakra! The Shadow Clones were simultaneously dispersed and Naruto was sent tumbling through the air, though Discord was able to catch the flailing boy in an oversized baseball glove. When the dust settled from the explosion, both ninja and Chaos Spirit could only stare with gob smacked expressions at the monster the former preteen had become. Standing on the wreckage of an acre of trees was a titanic raccoon! The creature easily towered over the largest building in the Hidden Leaf, and Discord couldn't help but think the tanuki could be even larger than Canterlot Castle. The Tailed Beast's hide was sand colored but had blue markings covering nearly every square inch of its body. The monstrous titan had the same yellow and black eyes that his host had moments before, and both his jaws and claws looked capable of tearing through stone and steel alike. Meanwhile, it's large and bushy tail swayed menacingly behind it.

Naruto could only stare with shock and fear at the monster his fellow container had become, whereas Discord popped his eyes out of his head, wiped them on a hankie, and then put them back into his skull before confirming what he was seeing. The others in the area; Pakkun, Gamakichi, and Temari, also were staring up at the beast with no small amount of fear. Even Sasuke, who was carrying the still out cold Sakura with him, paused in his run to gape at the colossus that was visible even from where he was.

Discord, naturally, was the first to find his voice as he said in a rather squeaky tone, "Well...horseapples."

The fully possessed Gaara raised a large clawed hand and pointed it at the blonde and his Summon, sand suddenly swarming them with all the intensity of a sandstorm. Naruto, who had used up a majority of his chakra on the Clones earlier, couldn't even move and Discord tried using his Chaos Magic to either disperse the sand, to teleport them out of the sand, something! But to his horror, discovered his magic wasn't working.

 _'Oh hay, that oversized coonskin hat is sending out so much chaotic energy that it's interfering with my own Chaos Magic!'_ he realized as the two of them were cocooned in the sand.

Before they were completely engulfed in the sand, however, Naruto gained a look of determination as he wiped some blood from his lip and began running through a familiar series of hand seals. 'I will protect them all!' he thought as he realized that if he didn't fight back, not only would Discord and he bite the big one, but his entire village would be in danger once the demon possessed boy turned his blood lust in the village's direction.

Just as the towering Gaara shouted out, "Sand Burial!" Naruto also shouted out, _"Summoning Jutsu!"_

Just like that, the sand holding the duo burst apart like a balloon and the two found themselves on the giant head of Gamabunta, the Boss Toad. Naruto was standing confidently as he resolved to protect all who were precious to him. Discord was...much less dignified as he was pouring sand out of his ears and nose that formed sand castles when it hit the ground.

"Yeesh, and I thought getting sand in your swimsuit was uncomfortable!" he then turned to Naruto and gave him a claws up with a genuine smile on his equine face as he said, "That was great timing, Fishcake! Not only did you leave the audience in the right amount of suspense till the last moment, but you also prevented us from becoming extra chunky apple cider!"

Naruto smiled back to the Draconequus, but before he could respond Gamabunta's eyes rolled up to see who was standing on his head and grunted out, "You again?! What do you want this time, brat?!" He then turned his gaze forward and narrowed his eyes as he recognized his fellow giant. 'That's...Shukaku of the Sands if I remember right.'

Naruto stepped up on the toad's head and stated confidently, "Gamabunta, fight with me would yah! I'm counting on you, Boss!"

The toad rolled his pipe in his mouth before simply saying, "Nope."

Cue Naruto stumbling out of his dramatic pose and Discord laughing at his expense. "B-b-but why?! Last time you said you'd make me your underling! Doesn't that mean you're supposed to help me when I'm in trouble?!" Naruto practically shrieked in exasperation.

Gamabunta huffed and explained, "While that is the way this normally works, and I do want you as my underling, we haven't exchanged drinks yet."

"But I'm _not even 20 yet!_ I can't _drink!"_ Naruto screamed in frustration.

"I'm afraid I have to agree with my client, your honor," Discord said as he poofed in front of Gamabunta's face wearing a sharp blue suit and red tie with his mismatched horns pulled back. Discord pulled out a briefcase from...somewhere, and opened it up, pulling out a piece of paper. "According to this contract here, which is a written statement of everything said when you and my client last met, it never stated that the need to exchange drinks was necessary for the next time he called upon you for aid," he continued while unfolding the paper, showing that it was actually as long as Gamabunta was tall. "Furthermore, as my client has previously stated, he is not of a legal age to drink and, seeing as he met each of your requirements you agreed upon when you set up said contract, if you refuse to help you will have to meet my client in court with a jury of your peers."

"...What?" Gamabunta stated blankly.

"In other words," Discord declared as he rolled the paper up like a window blind and poofed the paper away. He then pulled out a megaphone and shouted out, "WE NEED YOUR HEEEEEELP!"

Fortunately for both the Draconequus and ninja, they were saved the trouble of escalating things with the toad the size of a building by the timely arrival of Gamakichi, who just happened to be one of Gamabunta's sons. The much smaller toad spoke up for the odd couple, saying that they helped him out when Shukaku started bullying him. Gamabunta, in response, acknowledged Naruto as his underling as he pulled out a blade the size of a small skyscraper.

"Oho, this is going to be epic!" Discord cackled as he floated beside his host with an oversized foam finger on his paw and a shirt that said **'Go Boss Toad!'** To top off the gaudy ensemble, he wore a fan's cap but instead of cans of soda or beer, Discord had two glasses of chocolate milkshakes that his straws led to.

Turning to the accidental summon, Naruto asked him, "Say Discord, can't you use your powers to...I don't know, shrink him to the size of a puppy or get rid of the sand all together or something?"

Discord paused momentarily before sighing and poofing himself back to normal. "Would that I could, Fishcake. While I might like chaos as much as the next Draconequus, there is a limit on how much chaos we can take. The amount of damage Raccoon Eyes over there would go way pass that limit. That being said, that energy that is surrounding him, chakra I believe it was called, is quite chaotic itself. It's basically pushing my magic away from him. Think of how two magnets of the same charge come close together and end up repelling each other. The same principle applies here. While I could use my magic to alter the landscape around us, I honestly don't think it'd do much to stop him."

Naruto frowned while conceding the point. While he might not have understood everything the Chaos Lord said, he got the general idea of it. Looks like this fight was going to have to go down the old fashioned way; with guts, strength, and a whole lot of Jutsu!

Before anything else could be said, Gamabunta leaped forward, his blade swinging in a graceful arc! Naruto and Gamakichi were just barely able to hold on, while Discord flew after them and somehow kept up with ease despite his two tiny mismatched wings. Toad met tanuki as the two giants clashed, the end result was Shukaku's left arm being cleaved off and Gamabunta lost his blade thanks to the toughness of his opponent's hide. Said blade landed point first in the ground and released a shockwave that nearly blew the handful of spectators away.

Suddenly, Gaara's voice rang out from Shukaku's body, "Very interesting! You're quite entertaining, Naruto Uzumaki!"

The sand on Shukaku's forehead shifted and Gaara rose out like a zombie, half of his body still in the sand. Raising his hands into a seal, Gaara sneered as he said, "Thank you for keeping me entertained so far...Now witness the true power of the Sand Demon!"

"That boy shows signs of being Shukaku's host. The rings around his eyes are proof enough of his insomnia," Gamabunta mused.

"Huh. And here I thought they were a fashion statement," Discord mused as he tossed a Vogue magazine behind him.

Ignoring the master of disharmony, the Toad Boss continued, "Those possessed by Shukaku become such that they can't even have a single night because of sleep. I understand it's because of the terror! If they sleep, their personality is eaten away by Shukaku bit by bit until they disappear! Because the medium suffers from a lack of sleep, their personality tends to be unstable."

Both ninja and Equestria native shuddered at that, thinking back on Gaara's bloodthirsty behavior. _'I never thought I'd say this, but that boy needs Luna to pay him a visit!'_ Discord mentally vowed as he couldn't help but feel a stab of pity for the redhead, homicidal tendencies aside.

Gamabunta added, "While the medium's awake, Shukaku's powers are suppressed, but if that medium were to fall asleep on his own then..."

 _"Playing Possum Jutsu!"_ Gaara called out before slumping forward, clearly asleep.

"You just _had_ to say that, didn't you?" muttered Discord.

The light in Shukaku's eyes seemed to brighten at that moment and the Sand Demon roared out in a voice that made Discord seem sane, **"WAHAHA! I'M FINALLY OUT! OOH, AND HERE'S SOMEONE I WANNA KILL RIGHT OFF!"** With that, he reared back his head and took in a lungful of air before slapping his large stomach with a cry of, _ **"WIND STYLE: AIR BULLET!"**_

"Hang on!" Gamabunta warned before jumping up in the air, taking his three passengers along for the ride as they avoided the blast of pressurized air. The landscape beneath them was ripped to shreds, making the trio riding on top of Gamabunta not try to imagine being hit by one of those attacks.

The Toad shot out bullets of water from his mouth while in the air which the raccoon met with more air bullets of the same size. However, there was one more bullet of air than there was of water, and despite Naruto's warning the amphibian was unable to dodge. Fortunately, he didn't have to. The second before the attack made contact, an electric fan the same size as the two titans appeared and blew the attack apart with hurricane force winds.

"Oh dear, did I break wind?" Discord chuckled as he sat on top of the fan looking quite smug.

 **"You..."** Shukaku growled darkly, **"I don't sense any chakra from you, but you've got the taint of my ***hole brother's chakra about you, same as that blond brat! I've always hated that arrogant Fox, and your attitude is a lot like his,"** he then grinned darkly, **"I know! I'll kill you both slow and painful, your screams should be cathartic!"**

Discord kept up his cocky look while inside he was sweating at the amount of killing intent directed his way. "Yeah, how about...no," he drawled as he snapped his paw. Just like that, a large number of black and thorny vines rose from the forest and started to snare the demon's limbs. He struggled, but more vines kept coming. "Thank chaos I planted those Plunderseeds earlier this week," Discord congratulated himself. Granted, he had planted those seeds to mess with Fishcake and the village later on, but desperate times and all that.

Discord poofed over to where the whiskered preteen was and said in a forced calm voice, "Those vines won't last for long. Not only did they sprout prematurely, but I can also feel Mr. Crazy 'Coon's chakra is eating away at their magic. This is a little out of character for me, but I'm open for suggestions!"

Gamabunta grunted as he watched the vines start to whither on Shukaku's body. "I won't be able to take more than a couple hits from attacks like the one he used earlier. The quickest way to beat him would be to wake up the medium, forcing that overgrown rat back into his seal."

"How do we do that?" Naruto asked.

"Perhaps this might work?" Discord supplied helpfully as he summoned an entire marching band's worth of instruments next to the sleeping Gaara and they began playing by themselves full blast.

Nothing happened, however, and Shukaku gloated, **"HA! You idiots think you're the first ones to try waking up my host by making a racket? Nice try, but those sand earplugs I put in him mean he won't be hearing anything for a good long while! And the second I'm done dealing with these overgrown weeds, I'm going to deal with that overgrown worm personally!"**

"He's right," Gamabunta frowned, "While it was a good idea, a more surefire way to wake him up is to rough the kid up a bit. In order to do that, however, you need to get in close after his guard is down."

"Well, I can help with the first part. Do you think you can handle the 'guard lowering' portion?" Discord asked.

Gamabunta grinned as he cracked his knuckles, "Heh, most definitely. How's about we show these youngsters how to get down and dirty?"

"You read my mind, my amphibious friend!" Discord laughed as he pulled out a pouch with more seeds in them. "First, more seeds to give a decent distraction," he explained as more vines suddenly sprung up and joined in the efforts of restraining the Tailed Beast, "and that is your cue!" he finished while pointing a talon to Bunta.

The Toad's cheeks swelled before he spit out a torrent of oil that soaked Shukaku from head to foot. As the raccoon shrieked in rage, the lack of traction from the oil along with the lack of balance caused by the vines resulted in the sandy titan tripping and falling flat on his face! As Shukaku slowly got up muttering censored curses, Discord teleported both himself and Naruto onto the Tailed Beat's head a short distance from Gaara's prone form.

"Discord, throw me!" Naruto shouted, and Discord complied by creating a giant slingshot. He teleported Naruto into the sling and used his magic to pull it back as far as it would go before releasing. Naruto wasted no time in his charge at Gaara with a drawn back fist. "WAKE UP, JERK!" he shouted out as he slugged the out cold boy in the face.

Naruto's punch was hard enough that Gaara was actually partially forced out of the sand keeping him in place. The blond had broken a few bones in his hand, but through his adrenaline rush he hadn't even noticed. Plus, it helped that the Kyuubi was healing him already.

 **"WHAT?! _NO!_ COME ON, I JUST GOT OUT!"** Shukaku cried in dismay before his consciousness was drawn back into the seal as Gaara woke up.

 _"Arrivederci!"_ Discord called out mockingly as he waved goodbye to Shukaku's face.

The sand titan began to disintegrate, causing those who had been standing on top of him to stumble. A partially dazed Gaara had to quickly reorient himself as the sand around him crumbled. While the biggest threat had been removed, this didn't mean that the battle was over, however. An awoken and royally ticked Gaara glared at Naruto from where he skidded after and being forced to awaken. He began manipulating the sand that was left of the giant raccoon avatar they were both on, determined to crush one very annoying blond. Discord interfered once again as he floated over and pulled his summoner out with the tip of his tail.

"I've had enough of you!" Gaara hissed as the sand shifted underneath them before shooting at them in the shape of deadly spears.

Thinking fast, Discord threw Naruto off to the side as the spears converged on him. "DISCORD!" Naruto called out in worry as the Draconequus he had come to know was seemingly turned into a pin cushion.

"Yes, Fishcake?" said Draconequus asked as he appeared right behind Naruto, causing him to leap up with an unmanly scream.

"You're okay," Naruto breathed a sigh of relief seeing the Chaos Spirit largely unharmed.

"He missed me by a mile," Discord assured the boy before taking out a glass of water and drinking the contents, causing the liquid to spray out of dozens of previously unseen holes. Looking down at the holes and at Fishcake's gob smacked expression, the trickster shrugged his shoulders nonchalantly. "Maybe that was an exaggeration."

"No, really?" Naruto deadpanned before noticing the sand was coming for him again. He was saved by the unexpected shielding of Gamabunta's long tongue, though it didn't stop the sand from seeping up from the ground and grabbing his legs.

"You will be _killed by me_ , _my existence **will not** disappear!"_ Gaara declared coldly.

Discord went to help yet again, but he was then forced to take evasive maneuvers as the sand started firing at him like bullets. Seeing that no one was going to be able to help him this time, Naruto focused his energy and began drawing on his secondary chakra source. While the Kyuubi wasn't one for free handouts, he'd rather eat his own tails then let his container lose to his weakest sibling's host. Soon, a familiar reddish orange chakra enveloped the blonde and blew the sand away. Ready for the final clash, Naruto charged at Gaara one more time with his now-healed fist drawn back. Gaara kept sending more and more sand to slow his fellow container down, but just as it looked like he was able to stop the Leaf ninja, Naruto reared back his head and delivered a skull rattling headbutt.

The force of the blow caused Gaara to lose control of the sand, making the large avatar crumble to dust. Seeing that the battle was nearly over, both Toads decided to head home in a plume of smoke. As both Naruto and Gaara fell, they both landed on opposite sides of Gamabunta's oversized sword, which was still stuck firmly in the ground. Discord, meanwhile, was floating in the air a distance away in a recliner, a bag of popcorn in his paw while his talons gripped a can of soda as he eagerly awaited the fights finale. Both boys were nearing their limit as they stared at each other panting in exhaustion. Naruto and Gaara were in a regular Mexican standoff, the next blow would most likely decide the outcome.

The second Gamabunta's blade disappeared in a puff of smoke, following its owner home, the boys with similar burdens leaped from their respective branches, fists drawn back. At that moment, in that one instant...Naruto was faster. His punch cleared any guard Gaara had up, slugging him right in the face full force. Once again, both boys fell to the ground though this time there didn't seem to be anything to slow their fall. This wasn't the case, however, as a large mattress covered in plush pillows suddenly sprang into existence below them. The two ninjas landed gently, but soon met the ground as the mattress disappeared as suddenly as they appeared, causing them both to kiss dirt.

"Discord…!" Naruto grumbled, both thanking the crazy summon for stopping them both from having a painful landing, yet cursing him as the Chaos Lord decided to have that last laugh on the two combatants.

Gaara lay in a pathetic heap a few yards away from the blond, looking as though he couldn't move so much as a finger. He didn't even have the strength to glare up at the flashing **'K.O.'** sign hovering over him. Naruto looked like he fared little better, but thanks to the assistance of both Discord and the Toads, the damage was not as severe as it could have been. With a great amount of effort, Naruto was able to pull himself onto his feet and started to limp over to where Gaara lay. Seeing this, the boy looked at the approaching Leaf ninja in a mixture of anger and fear.

"My existence will not end here! I refuse to let that happen! _I REFUSE TO DISAPPEAR!"_ the sand user shouted out defiantly. Still, Naruto staggered forward, inch by inch, spurned by memories he had of his earlier meetings with Gaara and a certain boy he might have once called friend. Seeing the whiskered boy continue his approach, Gaara's eyes widened further, his defiance replaced by even more fear. "D-don't come any closer!" he cried out.

Naruto, whose face had previously been shadowed by his hair, looked up. Despite being covered in dirt and blood, the look of sympathy and sadness was unmistakable. "The pain of being alone...is not an easy one to bear. Your feelings...why is it...that I can understand your pain?"

Gaara looked at the boy in surprise while Discord, who had flown down to ground level to see what Fishcake would do, was hanging onto every one of his words. An uncharacteristically contemplative look was on the Draconequus' long face, and his mismatched eyes almost seemed...sad?

Naruto continued, "But...I already have many people who are important to me now. I won't let you hurt them!" as he said this, his normally round pupils became slits though the color remained blue, showing he was still the one in control. "Even if you try to kill them...I WILL stop you!"

Gaara stared at his fellow Jinchuuriki in what could only be described as wide eyed awe. "Why...Why do you go so far for other peoples' sake?"

Naruto was quiet for a moment before answering, "They saved me from the nightmare of being alone. They acknowledged my existence...that is why they're all important to me."

Gaara gained a softer look in his eyes as he muttered, "...Love."

Naruto was about to take another step forward when he began to stumble. Fortunately, someone was there to catch him. "That's enough, Naruto," Sasuke said as he moved the blond to the shoulder opposite his Curse Mark. "Sakura is safe for now, I left her with that Dog while I came to get you."

Naruto grinned at that as he relaxed. "I see..."

At that moment, Discord appeared in a puff of smoke next to the teammates. "Oh, bravo Fishcake, bravo! I haven't had that much excitement in nearly a millennia! I give you ten out of ten stars!" At that, ten stars suddenly popped out of thin air. Discord looked at them before taking one and biting it in half before placing the remains back with the other stars. "Okay, 9.5 out of ten. It was a bit touch and go there for a bit, and there were some bits mushier than tapioca pudding, but all in all you did a great job."

Naruto rolled his eyes at Discord's antics, but he had a genuine smile on his face having won perhaps one of the most difficult fights he's ever been in. Suddenly, the other two members of the Sand Siblings appeared next to Gaara, shocked at the amount of damage their seemingly invincible younger brother had sustained.

Said sibling said where he lay, "That's enough...it's over."

And indeed it was. For at that point in time, the invasion of the Hidden Leaf had been successfully repelled. However, it was a bittersweet victory, as the scars from this battle were sure to effect the lives of both shinobi and Draconequus for weeks, if not years, to come!

 **-ooo-**

 **AN: Whoo! What an intense chapter! I hope I was able to get just the right blend of canon and original content with Discord throwing a pony wrench in the works! This is without a doubt our longest chapter, and things are just barely getting started! What new adventures will our unlikely duo get into next? Will things play out like canon, or will things descend into chaos? (With Discord involved, my money's on the latter.) Til next we meet, faithful readers!**


	10. A Harsh Lesson of Life

**TexasBean here – all y'all are probably gonna hate me (and mellra) for this – but we've discussed this around the planning stages of this fic long before it even started and have our legitimate reasons for this decision.**

 **So… "Good, good…let the hate flow through you."**

 **Also, thank you for reading and for your support! It means so much!**

 _Chapter Ten: A Harsh Lesson of Life_

 **0o0o0**

 _Naruto rolled his eyes at Discord's antics, but he had a genuine smile on his face having won perhaps one of the most difficult fights he's ever been in. Suddenly, the other two members of the Sand Siblings appeared next to Gaara, shocked at the amount of damage their seemingly invincible younger brother had sustained._

 _Said sibling said where he lay, "That's enough...it's over."_

 _And indeed it was. For at that point in time, the invasion of the Hidden Leaf had been successfully repelled. However, it was a bittersweet victory, as the scars from this battle were sure to effect the lives of both shinobi and Draconequus for weeks, if not years, to come!_

 **000**

Gaara realized that he couldn't move; something was wrong. He could still feel his limbs, but they just refused to move. It would not benefit anyone if he panicked, so he simply stated, "I can't move."

"I think I know what the problem is," Discord said as he hovered over them unnecessarily wearing a doctor's uniform. "Those vines and your chakra had a very nasty reaction; kinda like oil and water, but a bit more…" Discord waved a claw as he searched for the right word. "Intense. Like opposing magnets being forced together."

"We should go back to the village," Sasuke suggested, somewhat wincing as his Curse Seal panged.

"We need to get Gaara to the hospital." Naruto said. "And, I know a guy who can help with your Seal, too."

"Really?" Nearly all three Sand-Siblings asked at the same time.

"Yep!" Naruto said, popping the 'p' and grinning.

Discord easily formed a few cotton candy clouds for those who needed it, and they made their way back to the village.

Upon reaching the village, the guards tensed up noticeably, looking as if they couldn't decide whether they should stare at Discord or be nervous about the Sand-Siblings.

Temari raised a hand. "We surrender."

"They also need to see the Pervy-Sage." Naruto announced, a few questioning eyebrows were raised in response.

"For those who are not in the know, he means Jiraiya," Discord clarified.

The guards nodded, and one volunteered to escort them. He kept giving the Sand-Sibling odd, nervous glances, which Temari and Kankuro did their best to ignore. Discord also noticed that something was off. He just couldn't put a talon on whatever it was.

It was a moment that a pony would remember forever. Discord would remember where he was and what he had been doing. If anypony ever asked him, he could give the details of what they were doing right at that moment. They had been celebrating their well-earned victory. Naruto, although tired and barely able to move, was smiling at him from his spot on a pink cloud of cotton candy next to Sasuke.

The mood in the village was somber, sure, they had all just been through a battle. But something wasn't right.

"Something's wrong." Sasuke said, who noticed the mood quickly. Turning to the guard, he asked in his typical Uchiha way, "What's wrong?"

"Uh…" the guard looked nervous as his gaze shifted from the people he was guiding to the ground and back to them before looking ahead. "I uh…"

"Spit it out, man!" Discord shouted as he appeared in a Shakespearean outfit for dramatic effect.

"The Hokage…" the guard stopped walking and turned to face them, sighing. He glanced at the Sand-Siblings again before finally saying, "I'm sorry… The Hokage died defending our village…"

Discord almost lost his concentration on the cotton candy clouds as he processed what he just heard. Surely the man was joking, the guy was-no, _is_ a main character!

"W-what are you saying?" Naruto fought to keep his voice even.

"His former student and missing-nin Orochimaru killed him…" this time, the man's gaze fell on the Sand-Siblings. "Orochimaru was masquerading as the Fourth Kazekage…"

The Sand-Siblings' eyes widened.

"Father's dead?" Gaara asked, his voice not showing any emotion.

"That's ridiculous!" Kankuro shouted, denying the possibility. "There's no way dad would have-"

"Kankuro, stop." Temari ordered, and her brother immediately clammed up. "Let's not waste any more time. We have to get Gaara to the hospital." Standing tall, she said, "Well, let's get going."

"I…My… condolences." The guard muttered as they continued on their way.

Discord was trying to understand. How was Hiruzen dead?

 **0o0o0**

Temari felt sick, and a heavy weight of guilt hung over her. She wanted to be alone, unable to even face either of her brothers or Baki. So she hid in a small alley behind the hospital, not wanting to be bothered. Her father had been replaced, and she hadn't even noticed. What did that say about her? She should have known, yet… what did that say about her father?

No-one had realized it. But…Temari knew that the blame didn't lie with her late father – not really, anyway. He had been strict, serious and stubborn, but everyone should have realized that something was wrong the moment he started talking about invading Konoha. That b*****d Orochimaru had used Suna's anger and resentfulness against Konoha and manipulated them just like one of Kankuro's puppets.

And now, here they were: her father dead, along with the Hokage, people were either injured or dead, property was destroyed, people's lives ruined, her brother in the hospital…all because they hadn't realized their Kazekage was a snake in disguise.

Temari hadn't cried in years – tears were unbefitting of a Ninja – especially if they were a woman. Tears were a sign of weakness, and even as the Kazegage's – former Kazekage's daughter, she was to be a pillar; an example to her peers and underlings. The tears started flowing and they wouldn't stop. Temari covered her mouth and muffled the sobs that shook her entire body.

They didn't deserve Konoha's kindness or forgiveness.

 **0o0o0o0**

Naruto walked into Gaara's room, passed a pair of sullen-looking guards who were standing outside the doorway. He smiled at his fellow Jinchuuriki, well… it came out more like a grimace. Naruto had a few cuts and scrapes that hadn't healed yet, so he was sporting a few bandages. Fortunately, thanks to Discord's presence, the nurses hadn't tried to deny Naruto basic medical care.

But they did take an unnecessarily long time to treat his wounds once they got to him. It was as if they were looking for or expecting some kind of disease. It was understandable that there were seriously wounded who were to be treated ahead of him, but sheesh!

Discord hovered on the opposite side of the room, having a silent staring contest with the Kabuki-cat boy Kankuro. Kankuro was genuinely fascinated by Discord, having never seen or heard of a creature like him before. Discord was wondering if Kankuro actually applied all that makeup himself or if his siblings helped. He was now wondering if he could get away with drawing something on Kankuro's face – like maybe writing _Eat at Ichiraku's_ or something like that.

"Hey, Gaara!" Naruto said a little too enthusiastically.

"…Hello." Gaara responded awkwardly. He had vague memories of being taught basic manners, but he figured he would just follow along and hopefully respond appropriately.

Naruto settled on the foot of Gaara's bed. "How are you feeling?"

Before Gaara could respond, Naruto went. "Oh! I almost forgot!" he fished a few Ichiraku coupons out of his pocket and handed them to the other boy. "This place is the best at making ramen _ever_ , so when you get out, it'll be my treat!"

Gaara nodded slowly, staring at the wrinkled coupons in his hand. "No-one has ever invited me somewhere before."

Awkwardness hung over them, but Naruto just smiled. "Heh – well, now you have! You're coming, right?"

Gaara only nodded, a feeling of…something he didn't fully understand confused him. But it wasn't unpleasant.

"Great! Back to the question! How are you?"

Speaking as if he were giving a mission report, Gaara answered, "The 'Pervy-sage' came by about two hours ago. His sealing technique is certainly admirable. I have not heard my monster whisper in my mind since then."

"That's awesome!" Naruto responded, seemingly a bit too happily – something that both Discord and Kankuro picked up on. Naruto seemed genuinely happy for his friend, but he seemed a little too enthusiastic for the news.

"Yes."

"…"Naruto turned quiet again, before saying, "Hey, I'm sorry about your dad."

"Don't be. He wasn't a pleasant man."

It was awkward again, unbeknownst to Gaara. He thought carefully. He should be apologizing here as well, shouldn't he?

"I am sorry to hear about your Kage. People seemed to really care about him." Unlike his father. How different would things have been if Rasa had been like the Hokage?

Naruto stared down at his hands. "Yeah. Yeah, they did. They told me his funeral is going to be tomorrow. So I'll be back later after...y'know."

"You're coming back?" Gaara couldn't help but ask.

"Well, yeah." Naruto smiled, a more genuine one this time. "You're my friend."

The two Sand-siblings looked at Naruto in surprise, and at this point, Discord was no longer surprised by such things coming from the Fishcake.

"Friend?"

"Of course!"

The nurse came in then, and she stopped in her tracks when she saw Naruto. Judging by the expression on her face, Naruto wasn't very high on her favorite people list. Naruto in turn stuck his tongue out at her and quickly made an escape through the window, shouting, "See you tomorrow, Gaara!"

Discord figured there had to be an unpleasant history between the nurse and Fishcake, given their reactions.

"Later, Raccoon-Eyes, Kabuki-Cat." Discord disappeared in a shower of confetti and glitter.

Both boys made an expression at the nicknames and Discord's exit. The nurse huffed and muttered under her breath, but was careful not to speak too loudly, given who her patient was.

Gaara leaned back and stared at the ceiling, contemplating Naruto's words. _Friend_. Naruto was his first friend. Gaara determined right then that he would work to become a person like Naruto: someone who had precious people and would fight to protect them. It would take him awhile, but he would prove himself to the people of Suna.

Meanwhile, Naruto walked with his hands stuffed in his pockets, kicking a stray soda can as he made his way home. Discord didn't like seeing Naruto like this. It was different from when he had been worried about facing that Neji-kid. It was like Naruto was forcing himself to be happy when he was with Gaara, and then he was sullen as he walked home.

"Fishcake…?"

"Sorry, but I don't feel like talking right now, Discord. Let's just go home."

Discord watched Naruto for a moment before following along again. He noticed the dark storm clouds on the horizon, matching the general mood of the village. Naruto didn't say a word after that, and he had undressed and changed into bedclothes within minutes after arriving home. He hadn't even bothered turning on any of the lights.

Naruto climbed into bed, and just stared at the wall.

Discord sat down on the couch, wondering if he should say or do anything. But he contemplated doing something to hopefully raise the Fishcake's spirits. Seeing him like this was weird, and very un-Fishcake-like.

 **0o0o0**

Discord didn't know what he should say or do as he silently watched Naruto's blanket-covered form rise and fall in time to his breathing. The moon and the streetlights outside shown through the window of Naruto's apartment, giving the room an almost eerie glow. Discord could tell that Naruto wasn't actually asleep. The boy simply had his back turned to the Chaos Spirit, and stared at the wall.

"…So…cat got your tongue, Fishcake?" Discord attempted the pun.

The boy should have said something in retort, only to find that his tongue had a cat latched to it. Instead, Naruto raised his head and turned so he could silently glare at Discord before turning back to stare at the wall again. Okay…no jokes, then.

No more words were exchanged between any of them that night. Discord didn't like it, because he couldn't think of what to say. He was a creature with a wonderfully wide vocabulary, and for the first time in his long life, he had absolutely nothing to say.

It was a clear indication by the bags under Naruto's eyes that he hadn't slept the night before. The whiskered boy moved like a robot as he put on a black uniform and his head protector. Discord walked out of the kitchen wearing a pink apron carrying a bowl of steaming pork ramen – Fishcake's favorite, if he recalled.

"Good morning, sunshine! Breakfast?" Discord greeted.

Naruto eyed the ramen. "I'm not hungry."

What? _Naruto_ was turning down _ramen?_ Plus, he hadn't eaten since the pancakes yesterday.

"But…" Naruto gave the Draconequus a weak smile. "Thanks anyway…"

Naruto made his way for the door. He paused when his hand touched the handle. "I'm leaving now…you don't have to come if you don't want to…see ya."

Naruto didn't wait for an answer and left, shutting the door behind him like Discord imagined a normal person would. It wasn't the exuberant slamming and rushing that the boy normally displayed. Not wanting to stay behind, Discord made the ramen disappear, and he put on a black suit of his own before appearing outside beside Naruto.

The boy didn't even react to Discord's sudden appearance. He simply trudged along in the pouring rain. Discord sighed, and formed himself into an umbrella before shrinking down to a size where he would fit easily on Naruto's shoulder and keep him from getting any wetter than he already was.

Their walk was a silent one; the only noise was the thunder and pouring rain.

Discord wasn't sure how to fully process this. He had been there when Ponies died; but it was always old age that had taken them. But this…Discord had never seen anything like this before. The Third Hokage, the man Naruto had affectionately dubbed 'Gramps' was dead, and it was not because old age had taken him. It had been because he had died defending his beloved village. He had died fulfilling his role as Hokage. Wasn't that the position that Fishcake was always shouting and bragging about? Why…why would the boy even want a position like that?

The man had reminded the Chaos Lord a bit of Princess Celestia and Luna. If either of the Alicorn siblings had died, especially in the manner the Third did, how would have Equestria reacted? Even _he_ wouldn't have wanted to see the chaos _that_ would bring! Sure, Discord could have been easily classified as a villain both before and after his imprisonment, but he'd never killed before! Bending reality to his will and causing everypony to go crazy was his motivation, yet he had standards to maintain of never leaving permanent damage. Looking at the village and the air of depression that had clung to it like a blanket since the end of the Invasion, Discord could honestly say that he'd much prefer being sealed in stone.

More people were gathering, but no one was speaking. A few people glanced at Naruto and Discord, but no one said anything. Naruto found his way towards Konahamaru, who was outright sobbing. Discord had never seen a child cry like that before. It was… unsettling.

He noticed how some people seemed almost numb to the idea that someone had died; much less their beloved leader. Others seemed resigned to it. Then there were those like Naruto and his fellow classmates. They may have seen death, but it had never been so close to home in such a fashion.

Naruto placed a comforting hand on Konahamaru's shoulder, and the young boy threw himself into Naruto. Naruto said nothing as he hugged the younger boy, and the embrace only lasted all of five seconds. But after sniffling and straightening his back, Konahamaru faced forward once again. He suppressed sobs as the procession continued, trying his best to appear strong.

It wasn't fair, Discord decided, right then and there.

He realized just how young so many people here were. He began to process what Naruto's goals were. Why would the Fishcake want to protect and even die for these people? He had seen how they treated him. Why…

He remembered Naruto's words to Gaara:

 _"It hurts to be lonely, doesn't it?"_

Yes, loneliness was more painful than anything.

In his younger days, Discord had pulled his chaos pranks just so that people would pay any kind of attention to him. Ponies had viewed him as this unnatural thing; a sore reminder of the Chaos Wars. As he got older, he had become calloused to the ponies and their fear.

He would be the thing that they expected of him, and he had become incredibly good at it. And what did that get him? A thousand years in a stone prison. And now, he was here… and for the first time, Discord wished he could be back in that stone prison so he wouldn't have to witness this.

He didn't know how to deal with this kind of pain and loss.

"Iruka-sensei," Fishca – no – Naruto said suddenly to a scar faced man who had come over to help comfort the two boys. "Why do people...sacrifice their lives for others?"

Discord now gave his full attention, wondering if perhaps he'd at least be given a reason behind all this sadness.

The man, Iruka, seemed to think for a moment on what to say before speaking, "When a person dies, they lose everything. The past, present, and future will all be lost. A lot of people die in battle or while on a mission, and they might also die because of a simple reason. Lord Hokage was one of those people. Among all those who are dead, there are some who have dreams, goals...but everyone has something that is most important to them. Parents, siblings, friends, lovers, people of the village. These are very important people. We trust each other, help each other. We come in contact with these bonds from the day we're born. As we grow, these bonds also grow and become stronger. This isn't a complex idea! Anyone with these bonds would be like this because they cherish it."

They stood in silence for a moment, both human and Draconequus reflecting on the man's words. A part of Discord couldn't help but think about the Elements of Harmony and their wielders, especially Twilight Sparkle.

 _'Is that why they were able to beat me?'_ Discord thought. He figured the purple unicorn's speech might have been along the lines of Iruka's, though he wasn't really paying attention at the time since it seemed to be one of those boring 'heroic/friendship' speeches he had always found so tedious. But now…now Discord felt like he was beginning to understand. By caring for something, you'll be ready to risk everything to protect it, even put your lives on the line.

Naruto seemed to understand as well. "But," the blond said quietly, "Death really is a painful thing."

A voice suddenly spoke up behind them and the duo turned to see the silver haired, one eyed masked man from the exams (Discord believed Naruto called him Kakashi). "The Third didn't die for nothing. He left us some important things indeed." Seeing Naruto's confused look, he continued, "One day, you'll understand."

Naruto's face suddenly gained a smile. A warm, true smile, that was somehow more sincere then most of the ones he'd given even before that fiasco of an examination went down. "I know, even I don't really understand but, I feel the same way!"

Discord couldn't help but chuckle at this as he turned back into his regular form, the rain dissipating to allow bright sunshine to fall on the village.

 _'Maybe,'_ Discord thought almost wistfully, _'Maybe there is something to the whole "friendship is magic" bit. At any rate,'_ he then floated above Fishcake as they departed from the funeral in lighter spirits then before, _'I think things are going to just keep getting more interesting from here on out!'_

Unknown to the Draconequus and the villagers, two figures were observing the village from on top the Hokage Monument at that very moment. They had a mysterious and ominous vibe to them. Both wore wide brimmed hats that hid their faces while the rest of their bodies were covered in a black cloak that had blood red clouds on it. One of the figures, the taller of the two with a bandaged wrapped object on his back, turned to his smaller companion and spoke.

"Looks like the Leaf was able to avoid being wiped out, though not without its cost," he mused as he lifted his head a bit, showing a face that almost looked like that of a shark with pale blue skin, gill like markings around beady eyes, and a mouth full of razor sharp teeth.

"Pity," the other man said in an emotionless tone, "Once a proud village, now just a shell of its former self."

The first man gave a sharp toothed smile as he chuckled, "Heh, I guess even you feel nostalgic when seeing their old home, eh Itachi?"

"...No, I don't feel nostalgic at all," Itachi spoke in a monotone as he too lifted his head up, showing a mature pair of Sharingan eyes.

 **Until next time…**


End file.
